Articles

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #37

October 14, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I just had a sexy dream where I cheated on my girlfriend with another girl I know in real life. The nerdy part is that the other girl and I were Spartans finishing a fight with the Elites in the Countdown map in Halo Reach multiplayer. My girlfriend was the last Elite we had to kill for the win and I even did a slow-mo assassination.-Zach

My girlfriend of two-and-a-half years recently broke up with me. The thing I'm most concerned about is how it's going to affect our D&D campaign. She's a cleric, so if someone has to quit it'll be me, the lowly bard.-Anonymous

At the beginning of every semester, I decide which textbooks to buy by first listing all the good videogames coming out in the next five months and how much they'll cost. This year it was Fallout: New Vegas, Pokemon Black, and The Force Unleashed 2. I'm not going to buy my Psych textbook because I can get all three of those games for less money than the book.-Anonymous

When people over-complicate problems, I tell them "Why are you making the Deku Tree into the Water Temple?"-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Dorklyst: 10 Memorable Accidents in Videogame History

October 15, 2010


Accidents happen. Sometimes important accidents happen, like Christopher Colombus discovering America, or the inventor of the popsicle leaving soda out overnight with a stick in it. Videogames are no exception, and sometimes the biggest contributions to games have been entirely unintentional.


10.



Though many of you could not even imagine what life would be like without being able to experience a 1:1 backswing in Wii Sports Resort, golf wasn't supposed to be part of the sequel in the first place. During 2008's E3, Nintendo Superproducer Shigeru Miyamoto talked up how much better Wii golf was going to be in the new game, due to the WiiMotionPlus adapter. The development team had no choice but to put golf in, since he mentioned it in an interview. This was a maneuver that Miyamoto actually referred to as "blocking off the escape route," because that's what happens when you're the Steve Jobs of Japan.

9.



We all live in fear of the frightening sound of Sonic's drowning theme, but it might have never happened. According to an interview with Sonic creator Yuki Naka, the reason that Sonic can't swim in water levels is because he at the time thought hedgehogs couldn't swim. It makes Labyrinth Zone even more disappointing, not just because it was really really hard, but also because it sullies what was once a realistic portrayal of the way hedgehogs curl up in a ball, run really fast, and defeat evil scientists.

Filed Under   lists   the dorklyst

Article Bad Dudes Flowchart

October 13, 2010
Filed Under   bad dudes   flowchart

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #21

October 12, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

(While playing Halo 3)Guy 1: "Halo 3 is alright… BUT Halo 2 was THEE game."Guy 2: "But Halo 3 is still good."Guy 1: "But Halo 2 was better."Guy 2: "But Halo 3 is still good."Guy 1: "But Halo 2 was better.."Guy 2: "But Halo 3 is still good."Guy 1: "But Halo 2 was better."(This went on for a good 10 minutes longer, neither of them ever raised their voices.)-Jeff B.

Shortly after the care package glitch (which allowed you to get unlimited care packages by climbing over a barrier) was fixed in MW2, my friends and I came up with a brilliant plan. So our whole team slapped on care packages, sentry guns, and emergency air drops for our kill streaks, went into some hardcore HQ and saved them up until the end of the match. When there was five minutes or so left in the game, we pretended to do the care package glitch, dropping everything at once. Needless to say, we got some little kid to ask how we managed to do that and we told him that we just care package glitched. He proceeded to tell us that they had patched it at which point I responded that all you had to do was lift your Xbox up and give it "one good shake" as you were going over the barrier because it would read from your disc then and not from the patch on your hard drive. He was hesitant at first, but several days later he contacted me to try to figure out how to do it, so I went into a private match, invited him to party chat, and let him kill me four times. As he's going over the barrier, I hear him say "It says the disc is unreadable." By switching my mic off and on for burst of laughter, I was able to make it sound like he was the one who messed up instead of me just getting him to scratch his disc. To this day, he still thinks he just shook his Xbox too hard.-JC

I was playing MW2 and started talking with this dad who was playing with his son. Here's a sample of the gold they were spewing the whole time we played together:Kid: Are you from Texas?Me: No. Texas sucks.Kid: No it doesn't! I'm going to go to college in Texas!Dad: You need to worry about passing the sixth f*cking grade dipsh*t.After the kid died, he cussed at the guy who killed him. The dad replies, "He's just a product of bad parenting. Mostly his mother."-Danton

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article If Call of Duty Death Quotes Were Written by Call of Duty Players

October 11, 2010

Filed Under   call of duty   xbox live

Article Ash Discovers New Pokemon

October 11, 2010
  1. Ash

    Professor Oak! Check out the new Pokemon I caught

  2. Prof. Oak

    Excellent news Ash! I'm always excited to update my Pokedex, let me see them.

  3. Ash

    I think this one might be a normal-type Pokemon.

  4. Dog

    Woof.

  5. Prof. Oak

    Uhh Ash, that's a dog.

  6. Ash

    Cool, a Dog!

  7. Prof. Oak

    No, that's not a Pokemon, it's just a common dog. Looks like a yellow-lab.

  8. Ash

    I don't understand.

  9. Prof. Oak

    Dogs are animals, they don't have special abilities like Pokemon.

  10. Ash

    You just haven't seen them yet. Dog! Use speak-attack!

  11. Dog

    Woof, woof!

  12. Prof. Oak

    He's just barking.

  13. Ash

    He knows growl and bite too. Dog! Go!

  14. Dog

    Grrr.

  15. The dog bites Prof. Oak.

  16. Prof. Oak

    What the hell Ash! Dogs aren't supposed to attack people.

Filed Under   conversations   pokemon

Article 20 Pokemon Re-Imagined by an Artist

October 11, 2010

Charmander:


Lickitung:


Filed Under   art   pokemon

Article Gamebook: Sims Facebook

October 8, 2010


Filed Under   the sims   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: 6 Beautiful Covers of Videogame Songs

October 7, 2010



Filed Under   the weekly irl   music

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #35

October 7, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

When I was a fat little 11-year-old, my favorite part of Mario 64 was just running around open areas without having Mario ever get tired.-Rock

About a week ago, I woke up early in the morning to find myself crying. I'd had a disturbing dream which had awoken me and left me feeling depressed for several days. The dream was that I was browsing the internet and saw that IGN had posted an early review of Fallout: New Vegas and given it a 7.4.-Steve

My senior year of high school, I had a math teacher that mentioned he played WoW when he first introduced himself. By the third month of class, my best friend and I hated him. One night, we decided to see if we could find him in the game. We tried a bunch of names in the armory and found a lone alliance paladin with the same last name as our teacher. It was a pretty unique last name, so we were sure it was him. The next day we each paid $25 to transfer our horde characters to his realm and spent the week following him and killing him. He would come to school angry each day. Finally, we asked him if he had been getting harassed by a priest and a mage lately. He gave us a death stare and we were both removed from his class within a few weeks. The reason the school gave us was for "making his life difficult."-Louie

In Elementary School, several guys started a Pokemon club that used to gather at recess and watch one person play Pokemon Red on his Game Boy. It became crowded quickly and other kids got jealous because there wasn't enough room under the slide. This fringe group started calling themselves Team Rocket. One day, the two groups met on the playground and had a big fight. Everyone involved had to go to a meeting afterwards because the school thought it was gang related.-Montana

Filed Under   pwn my life