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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #39

October 21, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I've never been a physically strong person, especially since I don't exercise. My main problem was arm strength, so I decided that I would do five push-ups any time I die in Team Fortress 2. That was two months ago. Now, not only do I have some upper body strength, but I've also become better at playing Team Fortress 2 when my arms are tired.-Andy

My friends and I invented our own Defense of the Ancients version of Pictionary. It ranges from heros and items, to full on scenarios like "Crixalis using burrowstrike on Lina," or "Noob trying to stack two orbs."-Jeremy

When it's cold out at rugby practice, I pretend the steam coming off me is energy, and I am about to go Super Saiyan.-Colin

When I was younger and a Pokemon fanatic, I was obsessed with Seel and Dewgong. I had one of those card binders, and I used to place moist paper towels over their cards so they'd be comfortable. I also stored their figurines in a plastic container filled with water.-Andrew

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pokemon: The Later Years

October 20, 2010

Filed Under   art   pokemon

Article More Than Mario Bargained For

October 20, 2010
  1. Toad

    Thank you Mario! But our princess is in another castle!

  2. Mario

    Well, okay-wait, what?

  3. Toad


  4. Mario

    Another castle? You mean there's more than one castle?

  5. Toad

  6. Mario

    Because a castle is a pretty big deal. I was all "well, here's the castle! And a boss battle! Game over". Seemed pretty final.

  7. Toad

    We have a lot of castles.

  8. Mario

    What kind of housing market exclusively has castles? And I have to return Princess Peach to her castle…

  9. Toad

    Everyone has a castle!

  10. Mario

    Not me. I live in Brooklyn. Luigi sometimes goes hungry.

  11. Toad

    Only Luigi?

Filed Under   conversations   mario

Article Mario's Weakness

October 19, 2010

Filed Under   mario

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #22

October 19, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Playing Medal of Honor, a kid came into the room and asked if we were "Christ followers" because his mom would only let him play with "those who have been saved." I laughed at him and told him I'm Jewish, even though I'm not. He immediately left.-Dustin
Heard in lobby of Cod MW2"That's right Chris.  You can just curl up inside me like a tauntaun."-Andy C.

My friend and I were playing Halo when some random kid sent out a mass message saying that he would sell his account for microsoft points and included his cell number for urgent questions. We decided to call and once we confirmed that it was actually him proceeded to tell him that we worked for microsoft and what he was doing is illegal. After telling him that we were going to ban his Xbox from ever going online again he started crying. A lot. We tried to give him a fake number and name to call if he had any questions but once he started to actually write the number down (still sobbing) we lost it and both started laughing hysterically.-Ryan F.

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article 6 Videogame Characters We'd Want at a Party

October 18, 2010

Gordon Freeman

The prospect of such a stoic figure getting a little tipsy is more than intriguing to us. We are willing to bet that when Gordon downs a few beers he starts telling everyone about all his crazy adventures. We want to know exactly what happened at Black Mesa. What better way than to get him wasted? Gordon also brings a little muscle to the table. You know if someone gets out of line (we're looking at you Donkey Kong) Gordon won't hesitate to bash them upside the head- or at least drop a few auto-turrets on them. And of course, the most important reason we want Gordon Freeman at our party: The gravity gun. Can you imagine beer pong with a gravity gun?
Oh, just one warning: Don't let him do ecstasy; he'll see the G-man everywhere.

Lara Croft

You're going to want girls at your party- preferably ones with physically impossible dimensions. You'll probably try to hit on her at some point- and if you're lucky maybe she'll talk to you. But unless you can hold a conversation about ancient artifacts, you shouldn't count on that happening. So what will Lara Croft do for your party? She'll make every other girl there jealous- which could help you "raid some wombs" later on. In case you were wondering, yes "Womb Raider" is a real film. Shockingly it only received 3.5 stars on IMDB.

Filed Under   lists

Article Ryu's First Date

October 18, 2010
  1. Stacey

    …And that's how I became a lawyer. And what did you say you did again?

  2. Ryu

    Oh, I'm a street fighter.

  3. Stacey


  4. Ryu

    I fight people on the street. Street fighter.

  5. Stacey

    Like, hobos?

  6. Ryu

    No. Well, sometimes. Okay, often. But sometimes I fight other super fighters. Like my best friend Ken.

  7. Stacey

    You fight your best friend?

  8. Ryu

    Yes. Also my enemies, though. That part makes more sense.

  9. Stacey

    And you do this exclusively on streets.

  10. Ryu

    Well, sometimes in arenas, or secret labs. But yeah, often we fight on streets. Like, definitely more than actual fighters should be.

  11. Stacey

    Maybe you should do something more important. Than, like attacking hobos. Do you make anything from this?

Filed Under   conversations   street fighter

Article 11 Celebrities and Their Pokemon Equivalents

October 15, 2010

Filed Under   celebrities   pokemon

Article Gamebook: 5 World of Warcraft Status Updates

October 14, 2010

Filed Under   warcraft   world of warcraft   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: Nerd Love

October 14, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl   love