Articles

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Article Halloween Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Zombie Games in Videogame History

October 27, 2010


Long before the Internet fell in love with them, zombies have been a fixture in videogames. And though they all fall under the general zombie game umbrella, the games themselves couldn't be more different. From the silly "Braiiiins"-chanting zombies to the ones who wipe out entire cities, here's our tribute to the virtual undead.

10. House of the Dead

There's a lot to be said in favor of the survival horror genre, but sometimes it's fun to just grab your gun and blow away some undead. And for all its mindless fun, House of the Dead actually has some complexity to it: The game re-writes the story based on how well you're playing. Failing to save a civilian from getting thrown off the bridge means you have to go through the sewer instead of the front door. Progressing through the game with a low rating means your fiancee dies. I've spent so many quarters beating the arcade version over and over that I probably should have saved that money for something more important.

Like my own House of the Dead arcade cabinet.


9. Plants vs. Zombies

Not every zombie game has humans fending for their lives and being forced to put an end to their undead loved ones. Some games are more…adorable. Plants vs. Zombies is a tower-defense game featuring (occasionally) disco-dancing zombies battling peashooters, potatomines, and sunflowers among other plants and food stuffs. But don't let the cuteness fool you: Plants vs. Zombies is just as fun for hardcore gamers as it is for casual ones. You might scoff at it at first, but you'll change your tune when an army of flesh-hungry zombies eats through your walnut defense shields.
Filed Under   zombies   the dorklyst

Article Smash Bros. Isn't Fair

October 27, 2010
  1. Link

    Okay, everyone ready?

  2. Ness

    Yeah.

  3. Captain Falcon

    Let's do this.

  4. Mario

    Wait, wait, hold up. This is a-absurd!

  5. Link

    Stutter or accent?

  6. Mario

    A-screw you. You have a sword!

  7. Link

    Oh, this? Yeah, but don't worry. I'm not very good.

  8. Mario

    How can you not be good? You have a sword!

  9. Link

    And bombs.

  10. Mario

    All I can do is punch people!

  11. Captain Falcon

    Oh, me too.

  12. Mario

    See? And-

  13. Captain Falcon

    Except a giant falcon made of fire hits them and it's totally lethal. Those kind of punches.

  14. Mario

    And-also, we're fighting a mouse and a kid! How can I hit a kid?

Filed Under   smash bros   conversations

Article 8 Game Over Screens For Games Without Game Overs

October 26, 2010



Filed Under   warcraft   wii   game over

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #23

October 26, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Apparently, I am not the only choir kid who plays on live. During a game of Halo 3, which was being particularly laggy that day, I began singing "A tribute to John Williams" during one of the bouts of lag. I was surprised to hear my song continued on by another player, perfectly matching my pitch and rhythm.-Simon
After winning a match of slayer on Halo Reach, one of my teammates says "Good Game" just as the scores post and the loading screen starts. I then proceed to say "Yeah it was great" at the same time a guy on our team yells "how do my nuts taste!?" All my team heard was me saying "Great" as a response. By the way I'm a girl.-Linda
I was playing Halo Reach and at one point one of my teammates yelled "EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA!!" and left the game.-Caspar
Playing MW2 one night and my one buddy was having a conversation with his dad and forgot to mute his mic when we hear him say "I wouldn't come downstairs later, I'll probably be laying here in the chair playing video games naked".  -Nick B.
My friend has some unnatural obsession with Tails. So bad he went out and bought a plushie of him. So one day we were playing Red Dead Redemption.  Me and a few friends remembered there were foxes in Red Dead Redemption.  So we went hunting with our Tails loving companion. Needless to say we killed many foxes and teabagged them yelling at our poor friend "this is what you really do to Tails." He started crying and left the game and party.My friend is 28.-Simon

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article 6 Websites if Videogame Characters ran the Internet

October 25, 2010



Filed Under   facebook   twitter   the internet

Article StarCraft Surgery

October 25, 2010
  1. Marine

    Ahh, I got cut deep bro.

  2. Marauder

    Hang in there! We'll get you patched up quick.

  3. Marine

    Did you bring a Medic?

  4. Marauder

    Even better, a Medivac.

  5. Medivac

    Talk to me.

  6. Marine

    Is that new? Are they going to do the surgery in the ship?

  7. Marauder

    Nope, they do it from the air.

  8. Marine

    What?! How does that even work?

  9. Medivac

    We use a complicated system of lasers to cut and suture you up, but I pretty much just point and shoot.

  10. Marine

    From hundreds of feet in the air?! What about painkillers? Do you have anesthetics?

  11. Medivac

    Nah, just more lasers. Hold still.

  12. Marine

    Ahhh!

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article If The X-Men Went to Public School

October 22, 2010

Filed Under   school   art   xmen

Article Gamebook: The Entirety of "Star Wars: A New Hope" in One Facebook Thread

October 22, 2010
Filed Under   star wars   gamebook

Article The Weekly IRL: Videogame Art

October 21, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl   art

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #39

October 21, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I've never been a physically strong person, especially since I don't exercise. My main problem was arm strength, so I decided that I would do five push-ups any time I die in Team Fortress 2. That was two months ago. Now, not only do I have some upper body strength, but I've also become better at playing Team Fortress 2 when my arms are tired.-Andy

My friends and I invented our own Defense of the Ancients version of Pictionary. It ranges from heros and items, to full on scenarios like "Crixalis using burrowstrike on Lina," or "Noob trying to stack two orbs."-Jeremy

When it's cold out at rugby practice, I pretend the steam coming off me is energy, and I am about to go Super Saiyan.-Colin

When I was younger and a Pokemon fanatic, I was obsessed with Seel and Dewgong. I had one of those card binders, and I used to place moist paper towels over their cards so they'd be comfortable. I also stored their figurines in a plastic container filled with water.-Andrew

Filed Under   pwn my life