Article 10 Videogame HipstersJune 14, 2010
Article Nerd-o-Vision: BossJune 14, 2010
Things look a little different when you're a nerd
Article The Legend of the QuadforceJune 14, 2010
Yes! I've retrieved all of the pieces of the Triforce and saved Hyrule!
- Old Man
HEY! LISTEN! An old guy is talking to you!
Yeah, Navi, I heard him. What is it, old man?
- Old Man
Your quadforce is missing a piece.
My my what? "Quadforce?" Uh, I think you mean "Triforce."
HEY! LISTEN! Link thinks you're wrong, old guy.
- Old Man
Yeah, I can hear. Look, kid there's clearly a piece missing from the middle. How is that thing supposed to balance? A slight nudge would knock it over.
WATCH OUT! I think he's going to slightly nudge the Triforce, Link!
- Old Man
I can't believe you never noticed that.
Article The Mod Squad: Issue #2June 11, 2010
Do you have an awesome gaming set-up or system mod? Send a picture to dorklymod at gmail.
Article Bowser Needs a PlumberJune 10, 2010
Um hey, Mario?
So a-what is it this time? Kidnap the princess again? Luigi? If it's Luigi, you can a-keep him.
Uh no. Not this time. I need a plumber.
oh. Jeez. That's a first. What's the problem?
It's the pipes. They're not connected to anything. There's no running water in the entire kingdom, evil fire-spewing plants are growing out of the pipes, and the sewage system is not pretty.
Wow. That is a major a-plumbing problem. How have we never a-noticed this?
Ever wonder where the toilet pipes go?
Sh*t World 1-2. We have literally filled up an entire world with sh*t because our plumbing system is so f*cked.
Oh god. I thought that a-was mud! Smelly, a-smelly mud I WORE MY FROG SUIT THERE, YOU DICKHOLE.
Can you take the job?
So I really haven't a-done any actual plumbing jobs in a couple decades. Are you sure you don't want to just a-kidnap the princess?
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #3June 10, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
Some random little kid joined my Xbox live party to tell everyone in the party that he was going to bed and then signed off.
The first truly online experience I had was the first time I played Call of Duty 4's multiplayer. The very first thing I hear from the speakers is, "If I stick my finger up my butt, does that make me gay?" From that moment forward I knew I was going to love the Call of Duty fanbase.
I was playing Modern Warfare 2 and this little kid starts talking, he's probably 5-6 years old. He says "Hi, I'm Jake and my brother is letting me talk for him" so just to get a small laugh, I reply in a very polite and cordial tone "I'm sorry, that is a violation of XBOX Live rules and your brother can lose his account." All of a sudden I hear this kid bawling hysterically and him telling his brother through his tears that we aren't letting him talk. I burst out laughing, because honestly that's the only response I had. Nothing like accidentally making a small kid cry.