Article Pwn My Life: Issue #43November 4, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
My University's wireless network won't allow the downloading of WoW patches, so once a week my roommate and I download the patch in the parking lot of a Days Inn.-Jason
I buy videogame soundtracks on CD. Not just games with epic scores, mind you, but games like Mario Kart 64.-AK
I bought a copy of Halo 3 as soon as it came out, two months before I could afford to buy an Xbox 360.-Jesse
I had just gotten Netflix for the first time and was streaming The Super Mario Super Show cartoon from the '80s on my PS3. I was having a great nostalgia trip until I noticed in the opening credits that Mario touches a star and, instead of becoming invincible, he gets fire flower power. I nerd raged for a few minutes until I realized I was alone, watching a children's cartoon from the '80s on a Saturday night.-Jay R.
Article 5 Mario Kart Police ReportsNovember 3, 2010
Article Covenant Armor is StupidNovember 3, 2010
Hierarch! I have returned from battle. I have slain many humans and have brought honor and glory to the Covenant!
Excellent work, my child. I hereby promote you to the rank of General.
And, as befitting a warrior of your stature, you will be given this glorious golden armor to wear into battle.
And this giant golden helmet. And this light-up energy sword.
Hang on. Don't we have a camouflage pattern, or-
Wait, don't you think this is a little showy for a soldier's uniform? It doesn't really blend into the battlefield. Actually, now that I think about it, nothing we own does.
YOU DARE QUESTION YOUR PROPHET?
Article Pokemon: ERNovember 3, 2010
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #24November 2, 2010
Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
A random conversation between two people who did not know each other on Halo Reach:Xbox live player 1: Hey didn't you T-bag me earlier today?Xbox live player 2: I don't know.Xbox live player 1: Do you T-bag a lot?Xbox live player 2: I did T-bag a guy in Spire.Xbox live player 1: Yup, that was me.Xbox live player 2: Oh . sorry dude. -Steve S.
"Have you ever masturbated with buttered popcorn?"-Bryan B. playing team deathmatch in MW2
Playing Red Dead Redemption the other day I got embroiled in a massive land grab in Armadillo.Â A few of the guys in my posse had Southern accents, and the rest of us had, normal-ish voices (not Southern). Suddenly the posse leader pipes up with "Y'know I like y'all. You talk like British people but, I like you cause you're not British."Â WTF?-Michael R.
I was playing Modern Warfare 2 the other day and this guy was getting yelled at by what I assume was his girlfriend or wife. Â Finally he said, "I had told you if you slammed the door one more time I was gunna smack that sandwich right out your hand. Â Didn't I say that?"-Justin
Article Sidekick WoesNovember 1, 2010
Alright, we're ready for this, a new Sonic and Tails game-
Wait, Sonic and Tails? Like, Sonic first?
Yup. You're a great sidekick kid.
Oh, okay. I don't know, I just figured, you know, I was in charge.
Yeah. You know, a flying fox. That's pretty bad ass.
Well, yeah, but-
Also I'm immortal. Every time I die I fly back in like, what, five seconds? That's awesome!
I don't think you get it. Sonic is really fast.
We're aware I am equally fast, right? I can spin-dash too. Oh, and hey, I also, fly. That's pretty cool. So maybe I should be first