Articles

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Article Who Should Have Actually Been Cast in Batman vs. Superman

By Andrew Bridgman / February 10, 2014

1. Lex Luthor: BRYAN CRANSTON

Who Should Have Actually Been Cast in Batman vs Superman

Bryan Cranston was long rumored for the part of Lex Luthor - the villainous antagonist to Superman. Despite the gravitas and sheer talent he would have brought to the role, they gave it to Jesse Eisenberg. Uh, we wanted HEISENBERG, Zack Snyder, not EISENBERG. Bryan Cranston has already proved he has the menacing glare, the acting ability, and the "looking cool with a shaved head"-ness that the role of Luthor requires.

 

2. Bruce Wayne / Batman: BRYAN CRANSTON

Who Should Have Actually Been Cast in Batman vs Superman

"I am the night"? Psh - try "I AM THE DANGER!" Bryan Cranston could act circles around Ben "Gigli" Affleck. Even when the two shared scenes in Argo, it became clear that Affleck was desperately out of his league next to the Cran-man. Bryan Cranston as Walter White was pretty much Batman already - the voice, the brutal doling out of justice, and - hell - he even had his own Robin in Jesse Pinkman. The true dark knight is Bryan Cranston.

Filed Under   movies   batman   superman   superman vs batman

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Unsexiest Videogames of All-Time

By Tristan Cooper / October 8, 2013

The Dorklyst: The 10 Unsexiest Videogames Ever Made

Videogames can be funny, poignant and especially rage-inducing, but "sexy" has never been gaming's strong suit. Maybe Grand Theft Auto V's topless lapdances will rouse a few, but many other games have attempted to tighten the sweatpants of the gamer populace before, and all have failed. Here are the ten most spectacular feats of NSFW failures in videogame history.

Warning: NSFW...sorta.

 

10. Bachelor Party (Atari 2600)

 

 

It's been a long time since I saw Bachelor Party, but I don't think that the 1984 film adaptation of this 1982 video game was very faithful. Maybe I went to the bathroom when Tom Hanks ricocheted back and forth across the screen, banging brightly-colored women into oblivion. Despite the success of the movie, we never did get the film version of the sequel, Bachelorette Party. It was the same game but with the gender roles reversed, so maybe they would have been better off calling it Ms. Bachelor Party.

About as Sexy as: The romance novel adaptation of Bosom Buddies

Filed Under   the dorklyst

Article Why the Nipple-Suits in 'Batman & Robin' Were Actually Brilliant

By Andrew Bridgman / March 25, 2014

   The True Reason For the NippleSuits in Batman Robin

  1. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred! Check out the redesigned suit!

  2. [Bruce shows off his new Batsuit]
  3. Alfred

    Oh. Ohhhhhh my.

  4. Bruce

    Yeah, ya like it?

  5. Alfred

    Uh. Well....it's definitely, uh, interesting.

  6. Bruce

    Hey Alfred - eyes up here.

  7. Alfred

    Sorry sir - it's just...your nipples.

  8. Bruce

    My BAT-nipples?

  9. Alfred

    Yes, Master Wayne. Your Bat-nipples.

  10. Bruce

    You're wondering about the 'em, aren't you?

  11. Alfred

    I'm afraid so, Master Wayne.

  12. Bruce

    As in, why I would bother putting Bat-nipples on my Batsuit?

  13. Alfred

    Indeed. I just don't underst-

  14. Bruce

    Yo, Alfred, what'd I say? Eyes up here.

  15. Alfred

    Sorry again, sir, you're just blasting those Bat-nips pretty hard. It's difficult to not look at them.

  16. Bruce

    Precisely.

Article 5 Disney Princesses and their Videogame Equivalents

By Peter Rubens / February 18, 2014

Belle = Final Fantasy

Disney Princesses and their Videogame Equivalents

 

  • Is super into reading lots and lots of text

  • Willing to put up with long periods of abuse and neglect

  • Sees no problem with ridiculous costumes

 

 

Jasmine = Pokemon

Disney Princesses and their Videogame Equivalents

  • Some kid who re-named himself shows up and changes everything

  • Thinks keeping insanely dangerous pets is normal

  • Originally had two colors: blue and red

Filed Under   princess   disney

Article 5 Theories About 'Game of Thrones' That Are Totally Right

By Andrew Bridgman / March 26, 2014

Theory Corner: Game of Thrones  

 

Few TV shows inspire the passionate debating and theorizing as Game of Thrones - and as someone who's seen the first 40 minutes of the pilot, I can see why! There are so many characters and relationships and locations to keep track of. And with the new season premiering soon, I thought I might share some of my most well-thought out theories with you. Enjoy!

 

1. I think Joffrey might be the child of Cersei and HER BROTHER!

Theory Corner: Game of Thrones

Okay, I know this seems a little out there, but hear me out: we know Cersei and her brother have some kind of "VERY SPECIAL" relationship, we know that everyone in the Lannister family is blonde, AND we know that both Joffrey and Tyrion are like pretty close to the same height. Coincidence? Methinks NOT!

In other words, Cersei and Tyrion have definitely been boning. They should call this show Game of Bones! (because, seriously, there's a lot of sex AND like skeleton bones laying around)

Filed Under   game of thrones   theory corner

Article 10 Important Characters In Nintendo's History That Probably Won't Be In the New Smash Bros.

By Andrew Bridgman / July 26, 2013
10 Important Characters In Nintendos History That Probably Wont Be In the New Smash Bros

The Smash Bros. series is Nintendo's attempt at giving itself a big pat on the back – the games are filled with Nintendo history, from the stages to the trophies in the game. But the stuff Nintendo wants you to pay attention to is the playable characters, which have ranged from R.O.B. to Mr. Game and Watch to Ness (who has now appeared in more Smash Bros. games than games of his own). Yet there are hugely important things from Nintendo's past that they'll probably never allow as characters in the new Smash Bros. games – here are 10 of them.

10. Anyone From the Super Mario Bros. Movie

10 Important Characters In Nintendo History That Probably Wont Be In the New Smash Bros Games

Nintendo's sole attempt at trying to squeeze its way into Hollywood is one they would like to forget – besides being an enormous box office failure, it did some real weird things with the Super Mario brand, including changing Goombas from little walking mushrooms into hulking reptiles with tiny heads, making Bowser look a lot like Dennis Hopper, and – their most unforgiving sin – having Luigi not have a mustache. So what are the odds we'd see anyone from the Super Mario Bros. movie in a new Smash Bros.? About as likely as the cast reuniting for a sequel that turns out to be Bob Hoskins' dream about fighting a frog named Wart.

Filed Under   smash bros   nintendo   the dorklyst

Article 6 Incredible-Looking Fake Legend of Zelda Games

By Staff / July 19, 2013

A post-apocalyptic, parallel universe Zelda tale – perfect for any fan of The Last of Us who never wants to hear the protagonist speak for some reason.

Filed Under   zelda   internerd

Article The Greatest Simpsons Mashups on the Internet

By Chloe Cole / February 7, 2014

(via)

 

With 25 seasons under its belt, The Simpsons is the longest-running animated TV series on U.S. television. The means that fans have had more than enough to do some awesome mashups. Here are some of the best Simpsons mashups the internet has to offer. Enjoy!

 

TV Mashups

Movie Mashups

Video Game Mashups

Filed Under   the simpsons   mashups   fanart   internerd

Article 20 Utterly Disturbing Real World Pikachus

By Staff / November 18, 2013

Filed Under   pikachu   creepy   wtf   pokemon

Article If Game of Thrones Characters Were Pokemon Trainers

By Andrew Bridgman / September 4, 2013

Rayquaza, Reshiram, and Zekrom: These three dragon-type Pokemon represent Daenerys' three dragons – the green Rhaegal, the white Viserion, and the black Drogon.

Rapidash: The fiery horse Pokemon represents Khal Drogo, leader of the horselords of Essos, who trekked across the burnt desert with Daenerys as his Khaleesi.

Ursaring: The bear represents Ser Jorah Mormont, of Bear Island – Daenerys' bodyguard and advisor.

Hydreigon: The three-headed dragon-type Pokemon represents House Targaryen's sigil of a three-headed dragon. I know she already has three dragons in this, but c'mon, just go with it.

Filed Under   pokemon   game of thrones