In a recent poll on Consumerist.com, it was decided that Electronic Arts was the worst company in America. This is the second year in a row that EA has taken the top prize. In response, EA's COO Peter Moore has released the following statement:
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There are a lot of things you should never do drunk drive, text, walk, pretty much anything except "fall asleep and hope you wake up with a low-level headache." The list gets even longer when you're a videogame character, who should probably be saving the world or preparing for battle instead of trying to re-enact the SHOTS video. But that never stopped some virtual characters from takin' a few swigs too many at some inappropriate times. These are the 8 most irresponsible drinkers in videogame history.
8. Commander Shepard (Mass Effect 2)
While he's supposedly in a race against time to recruit a team to save the universe from the Reaper menace, Commander Shepard can sidle up to a bar and ask for a few drinks. And if he keeps asking for drinks, eventually the turian bartender will offer to make a special krogan drink for him, since Shepard's pretty sure he can handle it (having already come back from the dead once this game, odds are they can resurrect his liver once more, right?). It's a drink that's so strong that it's practically radioactive (which usually doesn't matter for krogans, given the whole "our entire race is dying out anyway" thing). If Shepard takes the drink, he instantly passes out and wakes up on a bathroom floor. Ignoring the nasty questions of how exactly he ended up there, it feels like maybe Shepard should get back to trying to stop those deep space-dwelling civilization-eaters instead of knocking back space-margaritas and passing out in front of urinals.
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1. No More Zombie Games
2. More Zombie Games
The Legend of Zelda is one of the greatest series in videogame history, with nearly every game being a classic in its own right. So, mostly just to get the internet really upset about something, we asked you to vote for your favorite Zelda game of all time. And after nearly 200,000 votes (you can see the full results here), you (well, a bunch of people who voted, which may or may not include you) have decided the top 10 games in the Legend of Zelda series, which has done pretty well for a series starring a kid who never speaks and doesn't even have his name in the title. So take a break from trying to figure out how the new Link to the Past game will affect the Zelda Timeline and read about the top 10 Zelda games of all-time.
10. The Legend of Zelda: The Minish Cap
Somewhat narrowly beating out the Oracle games (also developed by Capcom), comes the Honey, I Shrunk the Link entry of the Zelda series, The Minish Cap. The basic twist of the game was Link could put on a hat that turned him into an ant-sized hero as he went around searching for medallion halves and doing somersaults as he rolled around Hyrule.
The game is notable for being the first entirely new Zelda game produced for the Game Boy Advance, and one of the few Zelda games to be developed by someone other than Nintendo. Other than that, The Minish Cap is mostly just a colorful and well-made entry in the Zelda series with some solid puzzle-solving, although a Rick Moranis cameo would have been totally welcome.
The thing that sets apart great comic books from the rest are the quality of their villains. While superheroes are stuck playing the boring good guy know-it-alls, villains get to plan the crazy schemes, blow stuff up, and cause the kinds of havoc and destruction that makes comic books work. And after over 850,000 votes (check out the results here), Dorkly readers and people who have never read Dorkly but just really wanted to see Ocean Master hold his own (in which case, bad news, guys
) have decided who were the best of the best. Or
best of the worst? The worst of the worst?
they picked the bad guys they liked the most. And here are the 25 greatest comic book villains of all-time.
25. Poison Ivy
Being named after a plant that gives people a mildly irritating rash isn't really the best start for a villain, but Poison Ivy (or Pamela Isley, as she's called on her driver's license) is more formidable than you'd expect. While it's never made a whole lot of sense why Batman doesn't just straight up murder most of the villains he runs across, you can almost understand his unwillingness to kill Poison Ivy he usually wants to have sex with her. Not only is she (by most accounts) pretty attractive, but she also uses some pheremones and toxins to hypnotize Bruce into falling for her (or just to poison him). But her greatest skill is using her abilities to turn heroes against each other Batman against Superman, Batman against Robin, etc. Now if only her dermatologist could do something about that green skin thing.
The launch of a console is terrifying. A beloved company could find itself dashed against the cold shoals of consumer culture, or exalted into everlasting greatness and high stock prices. You could end up sinking your hard-earned ~$300-400 into a big dusty brick to be boxed up with your broken VCR, or investing in a permanent fixture in dorms and apartments to come. But there, guiding you to safety like harbor buoys through a thick mist, there are the games launching alongside the console, and every now and then there comes a launch game so powerful, so potent, so perfect, it single-handedly justifies that day one impulse buy or that midnight launch line. Here're the 12 best console launch titles ever put out.
12. SSX (PS2)
Bright, bumping, and bold, SSX was a gauzy dream of a racing game, trading in the white-knuckled adrenaline of your Gran Turismo or your Mario Kart for a Zen-like downhill flow state, aided by dynamically shifting electronic music. The brilliance of SSX was that, at a certain point, the whole "racing" thing just falls away in your mind, and you become engulfed in floating through impossible topographies, borne on an infinite crystalline carpet, feeling the pulse of the world wash over you like a sonic ocean. I guess what I'm getting at is that SSX is basically just MDMA.