Articles

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Article The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 28, 2014

The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

This winter has been pretty rough. Snow, ice and freezing rain are showing up in parts of the country that exclusively wear flip-flops. Life in the polar vortex has been like living in a videogame ice level. Sometimes it can be fun, sometimes a lot of fun, but too much can be a real drag. In recognition of the unusually crappy climate conditions, we've compiled a list of the most difficult and dreadful snow levels in gaming. Grab some hot cocoa and stay inside with some games that will make you feel like you're stuck outside.

 

10. Spelunky - Caves

 

Spelunky is great - but it's also the worst game ever made. Every level of this platforming roguelike is designed to murder you and make you feel like it was your fault. "Why'd you make me do that, baby? If you hadn't provoked that giant spider it wouldn't have scared you into impaling yourself on that spike pit." The third world, the Caves, is especially brutal. Fraught with tough jumps, landmines, wooly mammoths and laser-shooting aliens, traversing the Caves is made even harder by the icy-slick surfaces. Getting thrown into a bottomless pit by a yeti should be a sign about how you're spending your time, but it will only make you slap your back with a belt and try again.

Filed Under   snow   levels

Article Tumblr and Pokemon Are a Super Effective Combination

By Staff / March 31, 2014

Filed Under   pokemon   tumblr   internerd

Article Pwn Up: Winter is Here

By Jake Young / December 16, 2013

Pwn Up: Winter is Here

"I'm not wearing hockey pads- oh wait maybe I am. Nevermind"

 

Last February my Scout group went to the Northern Tier High Adventure Base in Minnesota to go dog-sledding. We were six miles from Canada, and it was COLD. Being from Louisiana, many of us had never seen snow before. The thing that made that trip for me was the last day we were there when I got to finally set my plan in motion. That morning I let everyone else go ahead of me before and then grabbed the outfit I had carried with me the whole trip. I had become THE BATMAN. I showed up to breakfast doing my best gravelly Christian Bale voice, saying things like "Where is breakfast? WHERE IS IT?!" or "The staff guide... Can he be trusted?" I kept this up throughout the rest of the day until it was time to leave. A lot of my friends say the best part was when we went out onto the frozen lake and my cape started billowing in the wind. I had a blast, and was making Batman references the whole time. So no-one will ever be able to beat my story from Mardi Gras 2013, because nobody else went dog-sledding in a Batman suit.
 
-Brandon

Filed Under   pwn my life   snow   pwn up   winter

Article Pwn Up: The Name's Born. Dragon Born.

By Andrew Bridgman / July 8, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: We Love You Guys And Thanks For Reading The URL
This is regarding Austin's complaint about fighting the Lungfish boss fight: You ain't got no right to complain about Psychonauts until you have endured the horror that is the F*CKING MEAT CIRCUS. I dislocated a toe while kicking a hole in my wall over that, and inadvertently introduced the word "motherf*ck" to the vocabulary of a 2 year-old.-Ameer

During a mighty shift on Skyrim, My friend & I came up with our own version of Adele's Skyfall. I now sing this everytime I hear the song, watch the movie, play Skyrim or do anything else in life.

At the SkyforgeWe make good swordsAt the SkyforgeWe make swords for Companions

At the SkyforgeWe make good swordsAt the SkyforgeWe make swords for werewolvesAt Skyforge-RMD

Back in the summer of 2000, when I was 10 years old, and my sister was 7, my parents took us to Universal Studios in Florida. While we went on a bunch of fun rides, the thing I remember the most is the trick I played on my sister:

After I had gotten out of a ride, there was a little souvenir shop, and it had cool rocks for sale. Being the little kid I was, I decided that they were totally worth it. I remember I liked these cool chrome looking rocks the most. My sister was with my mother at the time, so she never saw them.

The next time I saw my mom and my sister, we were getting ready to go into the 3D Terminator movie. It was pretty much the same kind of 3D we have in theaters today, but back then, it was pretty awesome. Well, there's this one part in the movie where a giant liquid metal terminator was blown up, and pieces of it were suspended in the air. My little sister thought that it was amazing.

After the movie ended, I told her I grabbed a piece of the blown terminator out of midair. She said I was lying. I pulled out the chrome rock, and she just stared in awe at me. The best part of this story? She believed the lie FOR YEARS. Every now and then, when I think she's getting a little too big for her britches, I quietly hand her one of the rocks. And she gives me an angry glare.-Nicholas

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Con Artists

By Jake Young / November 25, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

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One of my most memorable moments of any Convention to date would of been last year, when me and my friends were waiting for an elevator that seemed to take forever to get to our floor. Finally, it opens up to reveal a full-suited Batman doing Gangnam Style in the elevator with a Cookie Monster underneath. The sheer randomness and unexpected act made me laugh, while my other friends were too shocked to even react. It was one of those moments where you had to be there to fully enjoy it, but I'll never forget the grin on Batman's face as he danced. Oh, how he danced. 

 

 

 - Pash

 

Filed Under   cosplay   smash bros   pwn my life   comic-con   conventions   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Family Games Night

By Jake Young / January 27, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Family Games Night

 

 

A couple of weeks before Mass Effect 3 was released here in the UK, I decided to play through the entire Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 in preparation. It came to the day before ME3 release and all I had to do was the Collector's Base at the end of ME2. I must have only spent an hour or so on it, but I got really engrossed in it. When I finally finished it and the credits were rolling, I looked at my phone and saw 13 missed calls from my brother.

It turns out his wife had gone into labour and he had been calling me, so that I could drive them to the hospital, as per our agreement a week or so before. In the end, he'd given up and called a taxi. I felt so bad that I paid them for the taxi fair, and also took them out to dinner once they were comfortable enough to leave the baby at my parent's for an evening.

 

At the dinner, when we were finally alone together for the first time since the incident, he asked what I'd been doing that had gotten me so engrossed that I missed all 13 calls. So I loaned him Mass Effect and he's now as addicted as me...I don't think my sister-in-law is very happy with me at the moment. But oh well. Brotherly bonding FTW.

 

-Matt

Filed Under   pwn my life   gamers   family   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Monstruos de Bolsillo

By Andrew Bridgman / August 26, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Monstruos de Bolsillo
I recently went to a walk in clinic because of a suspected fungus growing under my toe. The doctor cut off the part of the infected nail to be sent to a lab so the fungus could be identified to help him with treating it properly. Three weeks later I get a call to come back in to talk to the doc about what's happening. He sits me down and says "This is a very interesting case… you see, the fungus growing under your nail has previously only been known to grow on plants" He didn't understand why I burst into a nervous laughter. I had to then explain how this is the exact premise of "The Last of Us"

If this infection becomes apocalyptic you know who patient zero is.
-Richard

My sister was heartbroken that one of my villagers had left our Animal Crossing town. I decided to continue writing letters to her as if I were some of the villagers she missed.
-Jack

So I live near an ex-nuclear power plant and this is the local bottled water…. When I saw it my first thought was that the Brotherhood of Steel had expanded their reach.
-Charlie

Pwn Up: Monstruos de Bolsillo
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article King of the Hill + Anime = The Best

By Chloe Cole / February 28, 2014

 Imagine Hank saying "kawaii." You're welcome.

 

 

King of the Hill and Anime

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Filed Under   mashup   wtf   anime   king of the hill

Article Mark Zuckerberg Explains Why Facebook ACTUALLY Bought the Oculus Rift

By Andrew Bridgman / March 25, 2014
Mark Zuckerberg Explains Why Facebook Bought the Oculus Rift

Filed Under   facebook   oculus rift   open letter

Article The Guide to Sherlock: Getting You Up To Speed For the New Season!

By Andrew Bridgman / January 14, 2014

Filed Under   TV   guides   sherlock