Articles

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Article Hideo Kojima Explains The Controversial New Metal Gear Solid Character

By Andrew Bridgman / September 6, 2013

Since the character of Quiet (pictured above), a mute sniper who will assist you in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, was revealed, there has been controversy over her sexualized depiction: despite being a sniper in Afghanistan, Quiet wears little more than a skimpy bikini top and torn fishnet stockings. Hideo Kojima, creator and lead developer of the Metal Gear Solid series, addressed the controversy today on Twitter.

But what IS this "secret reason" that will make us feel "ashamed of [our] words & deeds"? No one is quite certain yet except Hideo Kojima. Thankfully, Mr. Kojima sent this response to our queries, which helps clarify a few things.

Article Flowchart: Should You Buy This Single-Issue Comic?

By Nat Towsen / January 22, 2014
Flowchart: Should You Buy This Single Issue Comic

Filed Under   comics   comic books   flowchart

Article Console Review: The Playstation 4

By Andrew Bridgman / November 14, 2013

Well, it's finally here - the first true next gen console, the PlayStation 4:


I know what you're thinking - and yes, it is sleek as hell. Also, it isn't the PlayStation 4. The guy who sold me this on Craigslist was extremely misleading (both about this and the payment, which I was led to believe would just be $700, not $700 plus "a whole bunch of weird nude pics of me cradling a Sonic the Hedgehog plushie"), which left me in a bit of a predicament, since I had a deadline to get in this PlayStation 4 review (Sony would not send a review model because, according to their PR manager, I was persona non-grata there after I "sent them too many weird nude pics of me cradling a Sonic the Hedgehog plushie").

Filed Under   sony   reviews   ps4   dorkly review

Article The 2nd Annual Ultimate Halloween Quiz For Unlicensed Nerdy Costumes

By Andrew Bridgman / October 15, 2013

 

The 2nd Annual Ultimate Halloween Quiz For Unlicensed Nerdy Costumes

Rollover For Answers!

 

Costume 1: This harlequin-themed baddie belongs in an asylum! Watch out if she bats her eyelashes at you! Who is she?

 

The 2nd Annual Ultimate Halloween Quiz For Unlicensed Nerdy Costumes

 

Filed Under   halloween   costumes   quiz

Article How Mountain Dew Cheetos Became a Reality

By Andrew Bridgman / January 6, 2014

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Mountain Dew Cheetos is a thing. No, this is not a joke: MOUNTAIN DEW CHEETOS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A THING. How did it come to this, you ask? We've got the transcript right here...

 

  1. Executive 1

    You know what? Fuck it. Mountain Dew Cheetos. BOOM.

  2. Executive 2

    Ha ha, very funny, Jerry. Now back to business -

  3. Executive 1

    No, I'm dead serious. Mountain Dew Cheetos. Cheetos that taste like that radioactive-green, vaguely-citrus slime.

  4. Executive 2

    That's insane, Jerry. We're trying to sell food to people products, not parody them.

  5. Executive 1

    I'm sick of it. Why are we beating around the bush here? These people want powder-y, sodium-packed snacks and a soda that's too fucking lazy to spell "Mountain." Let's save everyone a step and just mash 'em together.

  6. Executive 2

    That's going too far, Jerry. I didn't say anything when we made those Doritos tacos, but I gotta put my foot down here. I mean, what would it even taste like?

  7. Executive 1

    I'll tell you what it'll taste like...

 

Filed Under   conversations   mountain dew   cheetos

Article Most Plausible Causes of Videogame Zombie Outbreaks

By Jared Bronen / October 2, 2013

The Last of Us

Most Plausible Causes of Zombie Outbreaks

According to this article,  the explaination for the "zombie" outbreak in The Last of Us actually has it roots in some very interesting science. The idea is based on this fungus that takes over ant bodies (the host) to make it do its bidding and eventually spread its spores. The cilia grow out of the ants body, similar to terrifying abomination that is whatever is coming out of a clicker's face. The Last of Us' proposal that this fungi, cordyceps, somehow transfer to humans is ACTUALLY PLAUSIBLE.

Dead Rising Series

Most Plausible Causes of Zombie Outbreaks

So the Dead Rising series proposes that these wasp eggs contain parasites that infect humans leading to the zombie outbreak that forces you run through a mall with a chainsaw attached to a boat paddle. But how much do we really know about wasps, and more importantly, how much do we really know about eggs? Wasp Science is woefully underfunded, even more so than egg science, and I've been denied grants to study Wasp Zombies more times than I can count. For all we know, Dead Rising's parasitic wasp eggs are SOMEWHAT PLAUSIBLE.

Filed Under   left 4 dead   zombies   dead rising   the last of us

Article Toplist Results: The 25 Most Anticipated Games of 2014

By Staff / January 9, 2014
Toplist Results: The 25 Most Anticipated Games of 2014

Filed Under   results   2014

Article Quiz: Which 'Pong' Character Are You?

By Andrew Bridgman / January 28, 2014

  Quiz: Which Pong Character Are You

The distinct and unique characters of Pong are truly the perfect avatars upon which to reflect our essential and most inherent humanity. Also - Don't forget to SHARE your results with your social networks!

 

 Quiz: Which Pong Character Are You

1. What's your ideal date night?

  

a. Preventing a ball from leaving off of the left side of the screen
b. Preventing a ball from leaving off of the right side of the screen

 

Filed Under   pong   quiz

Article 7 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

By Andrew Bridgman / April 2, 2014

1. Civilization

6 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

Welcome to your new civilization! As a citizen of this new society, you will be ruled by an immortal god-king with complete control over every aspect of your life and the entire civilization. Also, you will be more or less in a state of constant warfare with the rest of the world. Building ANYTHING takes decades upon decades. If you're one of the unfortunate few who's drafted into the war effort, you may very well end up being a spearman or a horseback rider stuck battling a friggin' TANK.

Oh, and you're always in danger of being nuked by Gandhi - or if you happen to live in Gandhi's civilization, always in danger of being retaliation-nuked by EVERYONE ELSE who Gandhi just started  a nuclear war with.

 

2. Sonic the Hedgehog

6 More Videogame Worlds It Would Seriously Suck To Live In

The world of Sonic is generally pretty terrible - everything is divided into insanely-dangerous, completely incongruous 'zones' - from lava-filled ruins to a world of enormous casinos to a place that's just nothing but pollution. And odds are you're going to be a tiny forest critter who's subjected to one of two fates: either being locked in a capsule, waiting desperately for anyone to come by and press a button to release you (hopefully they come fast enough) or getting a sweet robot-body and inevitably having it destroyed by an out-of-control enormous hedgehog whose body is essentially covered in blades. You're nothing but a pawn caught between groups of beings trying to collect super-gems that will give them Dragonball Z knockoff powers.

And while humans DID become part of the Sonic mythos later on (not including Dr. Robotnik, who was bizarrely the only human present for the first couple games in the series), life isn't gonna be much better for you. In fact, there's a pretty good chance you'll be kissing anthropomorphic hedgehogs before you know it. 

Filed Under   the sims   oregon trail   sonic   civilization

Article Mass Effect Commander Shepards Are Terrifying

By Andrew Bridgman / January 29, 2014

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Commander Shepard is Terrifying

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Filed Under   glitch   wtf   mass effect   commander shepard   gifs   internerd