Article Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
Since I heard about Pokemon X&Y coming out I decided to finally complete the pokedex (on White 2), to do this I needed to do a lot of breeding. After doing a fair few breeds I took my Ditto out of the daycare, when I looked at its nature and saw that it was 'Naive' I felt really bad for making it breed with so many pokemon. Eventually I swapped it for a Ditto with a 'Relaxed' nature so it might enjoy itself. -Kyle
Back when Pokemon Red & Blue first came out my friend and I, like most children in the late 90's, were addicted. Towards the end of the 2000 summer, our concerned parents took away our gameboys and we were left to our own devices. We decided to try and recreate Pokemon by catching wildlife and creating arenas, e.g. a jar filled with water was a water-type arena. One memorable fight took place in this jar-arena, between a Poliwag (tadpole) and a Zubat (a leech we found. Yeah, Zubats aren't water based at all, but we had to make do). At first the two combatants idled about in the water, but suddenly the leech jumped onto the tadpole and the struggle that took place was horrific. After 3 minutes of a terrified, writhing tadpole being drained of life fluid the Zubat floated happily, sated and victorious. We never tried that sh*t again.-Myles
Article The Best Goldeneye 64 Character
Let's get one thing straight: Ben Affleck is fine. I liked Argo, I liked The Town, and I really liked Gone Baby Gone. He's got a number of underrated performances, like Changing Lanes and Shakespeare in Love. And, yeah, he's got a couple Oscars.
But he's not Batman.
Will he be able to bring the appropriate gravitas to the story of a billionaire who dresses up like a bat and pretends to have a gravelly-voice and uses magic green rocks to punch an alien in the face? I don't know that he does. It requires a seasoned actor that is universally-respected, like Christian Bale (best known for being the bad guy in the Shaft remake).
Let's look at what is arguably the best Batman film, The Dark Knight. Obviously, the most compelling and interesting character in that film is Batman. His arc could only be played by the highest-caliber actor: At the beginning of the film, Batman has not punched anyone or yelled at anyone in a stupid voice, but by the end, he has punched a bunch of people and yelled all kinds of things with a stupid voice. Sure, all the heady and emotional arcs are given to the Joker and Harvey Dent, but Batman ends the film by thinking a girl liked him when she actually liked someone else. Also, he deduced the Joker's location by using magic cell phone GPS mapping. He's not called 'The World's Greatest Detective' for nothing, folks.
Oh! And he takes the fall for the actions of Harvey Dent/Two-Face so that Dent can remain a symbol of hope for Gotham, since there's literally no other character in the film who could possibly be responsible for so many mob deaths. Well, I guess the Joker might have worked, since he had already killed a bunch of mob people, and a whole bunch of other people on top of that, and absolutely no one would believe him if he claimed he was innocent of those crimes and that Harvey Dent actually did them all. But then we wouldn't have gotten that 'hero we deserve'/'hero we need' speech at the end, which was pretty cool.
Remember: Ben Affleck was in Gigli.
The actor playing Batman is always the most important thing in deciding how good that film will be. I mean, who do we blame Batman & Robin on? Obviously it's only George Clooney's fault. Did Joel Schumacher have anything to do with the movie being awful? No, it is only George Clooney's fault. That's why our concern should be about Ben Affleck and not Zack Snyder or the script by David Goyer (writer of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and co-creator of FlashForward). Ben Affleck is the only factor that matters here.
What it all comes down to though is the fact that we need to get unreasonably upset about this before a single frame of has been filmed. We need to not give them a chance at all, since actors (like Ben Affleck) have never subverted the internet's expectations. Remember how upset the internet was when freakin' Heath Ledger was cast as the Joker? And we were right to be so upset (barring that Oscar he won for his universally-praised portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime).
So let's do it again, internet. Let's show them how right we always are when we get mad about superhero movies.
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