Articles

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Article The Dorklyst: 11 Terrible Videogames Worth More Than Your First Car

By Hudson Hongo / August 9, 2013
The Dorklyst: 11 Terrible Videogames Worth More Than Your First Car

Some rare games are lost classics, superb artistic and technical achievements that, for one reason or another, flopped in the marketplace faster than you can say "8-bit Moby-Dick." But for every Ōkami and EarthBound, there are 100 other failed releases like Cheetahmen II, gag-inducing stinkers that even their creators would prefer we just forget about. Unfortunately for them, the collector's market doesn't give a Shaq-Fu what they think, as evidenced by these 11 awful, rare, and awfully rare games that nevertheless sell for more than your high school beater.

11. Link: The Faces of Evil

Auction Price: $590Car It's Worth More Than: 1989 Geo Metro

Criticize Skyward Sword all you want, at least it never triggered any acid flashbacks. The same can't be said for Link: The Faces of Evil, one of three notoriously weird Zelda titles released on the Philips CD-i. Seemingly based on one of Shigeru Miyamoto's fever dreams, The Faces of Evil is famous for the bizarre full-motion cutscenes that make it closer to a David Lynch movie than a proper Zelda outing. But despite looking and sounding like a prescription cough syrup bender, a new copy of this game can sell for nearly $600, making it a better investment than that Geo Metro your buddy swears just needs a new transmission.

Filed Under   retro   the dorklyst

Article The Animal Crossing Villager Is Your Worst Nightmare

By Staff / June 14, 2013

At their Nintendo Direct conference at E3, Nintendo made a few announcements about Mario, Donkey Kong, and a number of other franchises. But none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that the Animal Crossing Villager will be a playable character in the newest Smash Bros. games. But there's something unsettling about his smiling, always content face that never changes, even as he's beating other mascots mercilessly…

All of his letters to his neighbors are written in the blood of his victims.

Article 3 Crazy Movie Fan Theories That Just Might Be Right

By Andrew Bridgman / March 20, 2014

1. Was Andy's Mom Jessie's Original Owner?

theories

via Jon Negroni

Remember when Andy would play with Woody and dress up sorta like a cowboy himself? (Andy was a huge Deadwood fan) You probably remember that - what you may not remember is that his hat doesn't really look like Woody's at all. However, it does resemble someone's hat: Jessie's.

theories

Filed Under   toy story   game of thrones

Article 25 Examples of Sims Being Creepy

By Chloe Cole / October 30, 2013

Everyone you've ever met has played the Sims because it's fun, it's family friendly and it makes childbirth look truly magical. The game's rated T, which means "Teen," but after looking at these unsettling Sim glitches, you'll think it actually means "Terrifying" or "Tear Your Eyes Out and Stomp on Them."

 

Scary Sims

"Aw, she has your eyes, Mother With No Eyes."

Filed Under   halloween   the sims   internerd   spooky

Article Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

By Andrew Bridgman / November 6, 2013

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

Internet, you've done it again - after over 2.6 million votes (and a lot of unfortunately pointless support for Shuckle and Dunsparce), you ranked all of the 100 Generation 2 Pokemon. And things got a little more surprising than the 1st generation voting, with two Pokemon from the same evolutionary chain making the top 15, every Legendary making it, and Smoochum placing dead last (oh wait, that one isn't surprising at all). So here they are - here are the top 15 Generation 2 Pokemon.

 

15. Steelix

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

What's the only thing more terrifying-looking than an enormous snake monster made of rocks? An enormous snake monster made of metal (it makes the "hard as steel snake monster" sexual innuendos work so much better than the "rock hard" ones too). And this floating sexual innuendo is one of the best Pokemon in the Gold/Silver generation - and (in a dream world where Pokemon were real) would likely be the most nightmare-inducing Pokemon ever.

Filed Under   pokemon   results

Article 7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed 'Game of Thrones'

By Andrew Bridgman / April 2, 2014

7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed Game of Thrones

 

7 Lines That Would Have Completely Changed Game of Thrones

Filed Under   game of thrones

Article If Wii U Games Were Honest

By Andrew Bridgman / June 19, 2013

Filed Under   wii u   honest

Article Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation III Pokemon

By Andrew Bridgman / November 13, 2013

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation III Pokemon

The Generation 3 results are in - and after over 3.2 million votes (which is actually more votes than Generation I or II), you ranked your 15 favorite Hoenn-region Pokemon. This is the first Generation that has seen every starter make the top 15 (although juuuust barely), a poor showing for Cocoon-based Pokemon, and the final nail in the coffin for Luvdisc (who, probably not surprisingly, placed dead-last). And now here they are - the top 15 Pokemon from Generation III.

 

15. Sceptile

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation III Pokemon 

Crazy as it sounds, but it took until Generation 3 for a Grass-type starter Pokemon to make it to the top 15 - so that alone is a pretty big win for Sceptile (sorry Venusaur and Meganium). But beyond that, Sceptile's a speedy hitter - which is sorta ironic, given the relaxed, glazed-over look in its eyes and the fact that its evolutionary line looks like a marijuana dinosaur. Finally, a true Grass-type.

Filed Under   pokemon   results

Article Fictional Grand Theft Auto Games

By Andrew Bridgman / September 17, 2013

Filed Under   grand theft auto   parody   gta   covers   internerd

Article These Movies are NOT Games

By Staff / September 11, 2013

 

Is It A Game?

No

Analysis:

Bet you thought this would be a game, because Super Mario Bros. is usually a game? Well, you're wrong. This AIN'T no game. Which is a double-negative, meaning this IS a game, technically. But actually, it isn't a game: it's a movie. That's why you're able to watch it in theaters or on your TV and not play it using a videogame console.

Filed Under   movies