Articles

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Article 4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

By Andrew Bridgman and Jake Young / March 27, 2014

4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

 

1. Your God Abandoned You

  4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

Wow, that must have been pretty incredible to MEET a god - well, C3PO isn't an actual god (more of an effeminate robot butler), but the Ewoks THOUGHT he was a god. Some kind of benevolent savior that had been delivered to them for reasons unknown. However, after Return of the Jedi, odds are C3PO went with his buddies and left Endor - and the Ewoks.

That's right - their god abandoned them, never to return. That has to sting - the ultimate rejection - a being that you pray to and honor as the highest of being, just picking up and leaving when you need Him the most. After all, C3PO just convinced them to join the Rebel cause and battle the Empire, which led to countless Ewok deaths.

Speaking of...

Filed Under   Sad   star wars   ewok   ewoks

Article How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fool's Day Prank

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

Entertainment News Site Has a Major Scoop

Batman vs. Superman is actually gonna star Christian Bale as Batman now? Steven Spielberg is taking over the new Star Wars movies and they're going to crossover with the Harry Potter universe? Wow - very subtle with the PRANKS, MOVIE NEWS INTERNET SITES!

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Write "NUH-UH - NOT BUYING IT!" in the comments. Add "YOU JUST GOT APRIL SCHOOL'D!!" if you feel your comment warrants it.

 

Friend or Relative Alerts You of a Major Life Event Via Text

Your cousin is getting married? Your best friend just found out she was pregnant? Your dad was hit head-on by a semi-truck and is in the ICU of the local hospital, where your mom is sitting in the waiting room, catatonic from shock and a grief so deep it is completely unknowable?

Could these people BE any more obvious with their pranks? (classic Chandler reference)

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Text back "PSSSSSSSSH - APRIL TOOLS DAY IS MORE LIKE IT!" Because they're all a bunch of piss-poor prankin' tools, that is.

Filed Under   pranks   april fools

Article New Characters Announced For PlayStation All-Star Battle Royale!

By Andrew Bridgman / April 9, 2014

Nintendo thinks they're SOOOOOOO hot, announcing a couple "new" characters for the upcoming Smash Bros. game, including EXCITING entries like Zelda, Sheik, Zero Suit Samus, and Yoshi. WOW. Well, you're not the ONLY one with a mascot fighting game ya know. Sony's got one too - and they've got PLENTY of new characters on the horizon!

 

New Characters Announced For PlayStation AllStar Battle Royale

 

New Characters Announced For PlayStation AllStar Battle Royale

Article The Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay On the Internet

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Rocksteady, April O'Neil, and Bebop

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via Cardboardtube Knight

 

Krang

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via The RPF

Article Other X-Men Arcs Fox Can Adapt To Film

By Andrew Bridgman / March 24, 2014

 

It seems like nothing short of a miracle that X-Men: Days of Future Past is being released - it's one of the most beloved arcs in X-Men history, but one that many thought would never make it to the big screen. It's a complicated story that involves parallel timelines, time travel, and the deaths of many popular X-Men characters. Also, it's protagonist is Kitty Pryde, who (thus far in the series) had received very little screentime. To make the property more viable for the mass audiences, Bryan Singer & Co. have changed the protagonist of the story to popular X-Men character Wolverine.

Now that this arc is being turned into a film, what other popular X-Men arcs could be next? Here are 4 we think could work out great.

 

The Dark Phoenix Saga

  xmen

I know, I know - they already adapted the Dark Phoenix saga for the big screen with X-Men 3: The Last Stand. However, I think we can all agree that that movie was a terrible abomination that shouldn't count, so let's just pretend it doesn't exist.

Here's how it could be reimagined for the current continuity: on a mission into space, the team is exposed to radiation from a solar flare. But it's actually the cosmic entity known as "The Phoenix" that finds a host in - you guessed it - Wolverine. Now Wolverine can fly around and is encased in flame and has super telekinetic powers - but he still uses his claws a bunch to slash up some bad guys (no blood is shown though, because c'mon, gotta get that PG-13 rating). Ultimately the Wolverine Phoenix must sacrifice himself to save the X-Men and the world....OR DOES HE? See, he can heal, so you think he's dead, but he's actually still alive. BOOM! ROLL CREDITS!

Filed Under   xmen   wolverine   days of future past

Article Incredibly Satisfying Pokemon GIFs

By Staff / April 16, 2014

  

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via carororo

 

Incredibly Satisfying Pokemon GIFs

via TheDuskDragon

 

Filed Under   pokemon   gifs   internerd   satisfying

Article Darth Vader Has Some Questions For the Emperor

By Andrew Bridgman / March 28, 2014
Darth Vader Has Some Questions For The Emperor

Article Titanfall Trolls Cheaters In the Best Way Possible

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Titanfall, like any other game with competitive multiplayer released in the last few decades, has a little bit of an issue with hackers. They use aimbots, wallhacks, and more to more or less ruin the game experience for everyone else. Also, for themselves, because what's the fun in playing a game like Titanfall if you're going to cheat? ARE GIANT MECHS AND JETPACKS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Anyways, the makers of Titanfall have come up with a fun way of dealing with these Swordfish-wannabes: let them battle each other. ONLY each other.

Titanfall Trolls Cheaters In the Best Way Possible

Filed Under   titanfall   cheaters

Article 'Batman vs. Superman' vs. 'Captain America 3'

By Andrew Bridgman / April 8, 2014

  Captain America 3 Talks To Batman vs Superman

As of right now, both Batman vs. Superman and Captain America 3 are due to be released on May 6, 2016. That's right - two of the biggest superhero movies ever, both planned for the same day. Marvel originally claimed this date for an unnamed movie - so DC planned their huge crossover film for the same day, expecting Marvel to blink. But with the success of The Winter Soldier, Marvel went ahead and announced that Captain America 3 would indeed be released then.

  1. Batman vs. Superman

    Ooo...awkward. This is our date - sorry Captain America 3.

  2. Capt. America 3

    No way, Batfleck vs. Hopeman, Marvel was savin' this spot for me.

  3. Batman vs. Superman

    Well, uh, technically they were just saving it for "Untitled Marvel Film." That doesn't really count.

  4. Capt. America 3

    Sure it does - now make way for Captain America 3: I'm a Better Superman Than Henry Cavill's City-Wrecking Saiyan

  5. Batman vs. Superman

    You're not really calling yourself that, are you?

  6. Capt. America 3

    Psh, who knows? Haven't even started writing the damn thing.

  7. Batman vs. Superman

    Yeah, that's sorta the thing - number 2 JUST came out - don't you think it's a little early to call a spot for the third one?

  8. Capt. America 3

    That's how Captain America 3 rolls, son. Pre-emptive strike up in this house!

  9. Batman vs. Superman

    But don't you know how much money you'll lose?

  10. Capt. America 3

    Are you kidding me? Have you seen the box office numbers? We got more green on us than the Hulk's dick.

Article St. Patrick Stewart's Day Limericks

By Andrew Bridgman / March 17, 2014

Lets Celebrate St Patrick Stewarts Day 2014

It's that time of year again - St. Patrick Stewart's Day! Last year we celebrated by going through the life of Sir Patrick Stewart - this year we celebrate the man, the myth, the legend through the ancient art of limericks.

 

Lets Celebrate St Patrick Stewarts Day 2014

Lets Celebrate St Patrick Stewarts Day 2014