Articles

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Article Pwn Up: Homestuck

By Andrew Bridgman / February 1, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: - Image 2
When I was 10, I bought my first GameBoy game – Pokemon: Blue Version. After I turned it on and started playing it, I got stuck: in my character's house. I didn't realize that the mat in front of the door was the way to exit a building. I spent about an hour pressing "A" on everything in that freaking house and gave up. I didn't touch the game or the GameBoy again until about 2 weeks later when a friend's sister showed me what to do after I told her I was "stuck" on one part in the game.-Claire

I was late to work one day last week, and there is a long, clear, straight stretch of road I have to take to get there. The speed limit is 20 mph, though (because it's adjacent to a school parking lot and a residence hall), which makes it a great place for policemen to hang out and catch anyone going more than 5 over the speed limit. As I turned onto this road, my index finger began twitching – I was thinking of hitting F5 to quicksave in case I get caught speeding. I've been playing too much Skyrim.-Natalie

I have a daughter on the way. I'm trying to convince my wife to name her Tali. I'm thinking of letting her name our daughter, so if we ever have a son, it'll be my decision and we can name him Garrus.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #29

December 7, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Once, a buddy and myself were playing Halo 2 on Live and my friend thought it would be funny to start killing everyone on his team. After somehow not getting booted, the game ended with everyone furious and screaming at my friend for making us have such a low score. His response was he thought they were playing golf rules.- Connor "Balls-Out" B.
"Stop grunting and screaming lad, that's your mother's job." - Jon
While playing Black Ops a guy in the lobby who went 4-12 said, "I'm trying to teach my daughter about fractions. See Honey this is 1/3."- Jonathan
I went into a lobby the other day and came in mid-conversation between 10-year olds.Kid 1: So, how many kids do you want when you get older?Kid 2: I don't know, 5? Yeah, 5.Kid 1: Cool, I want 3, one for each gender!long pauseKid 1: Boy, Girl, and abortion!- Brody
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pac-Men Behaving Badly

February 3, 2011

Filed Under   the weekly irl   pacman

Article Pwn Up: Fus-Ro-Dah-Dah

By Andrew Bridgman / December 14, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: FusRoDahDah - Image 1
My kid doesn't respond to "upsey daisy" or anything like that when I toss him in the air. He only laughs if I say "Fus-Ro-Dah!" as I throw him.-Garrett

So, when I was a sophomore in high school the all-school musical was "Anything Goes." No one knew the try-out song (being teenagers that didn't watch old movies) which was the main song from the play. I knew the whole thing by heart because of how many times I heard it on Galaxy News Radio from Fallout 3.-Kori

My ringtone for SMS is the sound effect from Metal Gear Solid that plays when you're spotted. The other day I had a math test in class, and I was trying to cheat, when suddenly someone sent me a message. When I heard the "ZWIING!", I was sure I was a dead man. I changed my ringtone right after.-Lore

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Nerdiest Jack-o'-Lanterns On the Internet

By Chloe Cole / October 31, 2013

 

 

Rapidash

Filed Under   pumpkins   jack-o-lantern

Article Pwn Up: Pwnkemon Heart of Gold

By Kevin Corrigan / December 9, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I recently went to my local Gamestop and asked to pre-order Skyward Sword. The employee asked me, "OK, and which system did you want to pre-order Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for?" I asked him to repeat the question, because I was sure he made a mistake. He did, and added, "Xbox 360 or PS3?" I blew up at him. I'm no longer allowed in the store. I feel like I won on principle.-Anonymous

I've been going out with my girl for a year and a half now. For that year and a half I've been trying to get her to watch my favorite anime without success. Consequently, she's been trying to get me to propose for the last year. The other night she watched Akira with me. Now we're engaged.-Anonymous

My greatest claim to fame is that I've seen my strategy for the Portuguese in Age of Empires III translated into three languages.-Anonymous

I was sharing a shower with my girlfriend when she got water in her eyes. She said it was stinging. Rather than sympathize with her, I explained how that couldn't be true because the pH would be roughly 7 after the various treatments water goes through. Then I told her about H+ and OH- ions and their effects on the pH of solutions. She wasn't impressed to say the least.-Padraig

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #18

August 5, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

My alarm clock ringtone is the Final Fantasy VII victory theme. I start every morning feeling like a winner.-Lee

One day, I was over a friend's house and we were cutting up peppers for his parents' restaurant. He got a bit carried away and cut his finger all the way to the bone. Instead of going to the hospital straight away, he got a bunch of tissues and ran to the nearest keyboard to check if it was a finger that he used for any of his WoW hot keys.-Anonymous

My family's only Christmas tradition is to play Golden Eye for N64 on Christmas Eve, all day. -Danny

One time a male friend and I spent a whole evening creating our own teenage mutant ninja turtle. We chose a color, weapons and researched Italian Renaissance artists so we could get an appropriate name. We even made a photoshop picture of the turtle by mucking around with a pic of Donatello. The funny thing was his girlfriend broke up with him over it, because she felt what we did was "too intimate" and he was "obviously cheating" on her.-Saskia

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn Up: Snake Healer

By Andrew Bridgman / August 24, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Snake Healer - Image 1
I skipped my school's Hershey Park field trip, telling everyone I was afraid of roller coasters. The real reason was so I could stay home and watch the E3 press conferences live.-Jacob

A few weeks back I cut my foot open pretty bad. I thankfully found the first aid box in my house, but I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered how the health system in Metal Gear Solid 3 worked and was able to take care of my foot that night. I mean – I still had to go to the doctor a few days later. But Metal Gear Solid 3 saved me a trip to the emergency room.-Virginia

I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately, and was recently given a quest in Markarth called "The Forsworn Conspiracy". I won't go into all the details but eventually the quest lands you in prison where you have to break out with the leader of the Forsworn (at the time it didn't occur to me to kill him and break out myself) so I helped him and some of his followers break out. As soon as we did, they started wrecking havoc on the town and I began to panic. While I didn't care for the corrupt family that was in charge there and I did feel kinda bad about the Forsworn guys, I'd spent so much time helping various villagers and getting to like them that I just couldn't let this all happen to them. Unfortunately, my last save was from five hours earlier. After a few minutes of debate I decided that the good people of Markarth were worth losing a few hours of progress.-Katie

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Charizard's Revenge

June 1, 2010

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #12

July 15, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I quit World of Warcraft on April 22nd (shortly after I got Monster Hunter Tri) by putting an authenticator on my account and smashing the shit out of it so it wouldn't generate a code anymore, therefor rendering the account useless. I had eight level 80 characters, four of which were quite well geared for raiding. I was done for good, until I made a new account on June 24th, and leveled a warrior to 80 in under a week.-Paul

A couple years ago I was over at my girlfriend's house, she told me she was going to take a shower and dropped some not-so-subtle hints that she wanted me to join. I passed on that opportunity to watch an episode of the original Voltron series. It was a good one. After the show was over, she came back into the living room quite upset after a long, long shower.-DW

After being shot and killed during an all night marathon of pwning noobs online in Socom II: US Navy Seals, I got so mad that I smashed my hand down on the arm of my chair. There was a searing pain in my wrist and a doctor visit later revealed that I had fractured the bone. I spent the next week telling everyone at school that I broke my arm skateboarding.-Matt

I was so mad at M. Night Shyamalan over his Avatar movie that I wrote him two letters. One about how much I hated that he changed Aangs name, and another about why firebenders don't need a source of fire to firebend.-Alec

Filed Under   pwn my life