Articles

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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #4

June 15, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it?Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In high school, I got picked on by the guys who brought in BeyBlade tops.-Devin

I had an interview for a promotion at work. My manager told me that the position required patience and the ability to follow through. I told him that wouldn't be a problem, because I've collected all 251 Pokemon in Pokemon Gold. -Chuck

I always play as female characters. If I have to stare at someone's digital ass for 5 hours, it's going to be a female.-Ben

My friend once did the Chidori from Naruto to impress a girl: sound effects, hand signs, and all. She couldn't stop laughing at him. -Damien

I'm 20 years old. I recently spent nearly 36 hours organizing all 4,568 of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, then made the best deck I could possibly conceive. It was a glorious day. I was filled with confidence. I entered a tournament and was ready to kick ass. My first opponent was an 8-year-old girl. It ended quickly with me screaming "HOW COULD I LOSE TO A CHILD AT A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME?"-Cormel

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Twas The Night Before GTA IV

May 4, 2010

'Twas the night before GTA IV and all through the dorm,not a student could sleep, anticipating the following morn.

With their laptops a'glow they laid awake in their beds,while visions of ghostriding motorcycles danced in their heads.

All papers were turned in weeks before due,and all absences saved for this gaming debut.

The hallways were empty, the RAs were gone,they camped out at Best Buy 'til it opened at dawn.So I stared out my window and gazed at the stars,dreaming of beating pedestrians and stealing cop-cars.

Filed Under   poetry

Article Plants vs. Zombies vs. Awesome

December 29, 2010
  1. Peashooter

    Ah, life. Fresh air, warm sunlight, and plenty of water, garden life is great.

  2. Repeater

    Bunker-up soldier, welcome to hell.

  3. Peashooter

    What are you talking about?

  4. Repeater

    You've just been planted into a battlefield.

  5. Peashooter

    A battlefield? But the sunflowers look like they're having such a great time.

  6. Repeater

    Their smiles are just for show. They have it rough.

  7. Sunflower

    BLARGH!! Oh God make it stop!

  8. Peashooter

    Did he just vomit sunshine?

Filed Under   plants vs. zombies

Article Issue #4

May 17, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

When I was 10, I tried to clone an Aerodactyl on Pokemon Blue using the trading method. On the other end of the trade was a "sacrifice Hypno" to be replaced by the clone. The trade went wrong, and the Aerodactyl died in the link cable. I ended up with two Hypnos.-Anonymous

About an hour into playing Ocarina of Time, my brother sunk up behind me with a ventriloquist dummy. I was so scared that I dropped the controller and huddled in a corner. It wasn't until 6 months laterthat I got the nerve to play Zelda again. I'm still terrified of dummies.-John

So, I was the weird kid in grade school. All of the girls in my elementary classes were bitches, so I hung out with the guys. As a result, I got into Pokemon, other video games, and trading card games. Being a girl who liked boy stuff marked me permanently as 'that weird girl.' In 3rd Grade, the guys in my class decided it would be a good idea to take my hand and force it across the chalkboard, making me scratch it. They did this a lot, and it sent me into fits. To this day I can't even think about my hand coming into contact with a chalkboard without having a phobic freak out.-Hallie

Article The Best Archer Cosplay On the Internet

By Chloe Cole / January 13, 2014

Season 5 of Archer premieres this Monday at 10 pm. Before you all sploosh yourselves, check out these awesome Archer cosplays.

 

Best Archer Cosplay

Filed Under   cosplay   TV   the weekly irl   archer

Article The Weekly IRL: The Dark Knight Rises (8 Pictures)

By Staff / July 28, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl   batman

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #33

January 11, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One day I was playing black ops with my friends and generally acting like an ass. After the match, some guy on my team sent me a message calling me retarded. Later, before stopping playing, I took a look at his gamercard and noticed that he was watching the usual suspects on netflix. Having seen that movie, I replied to his message by telling him who Keyser Soze was.-JCH
A while ago I was playing Halo 3 and there were two players called Obama(…) and America(…). And I guess they were playing like anyone else, when Obama betrayed America, and so there stood: Obama(…) betrayed America(…). I was playing with a bunch of friends, so we laughed our ass off.-Cpkiller1
I was playing black ops one night and heard in the lobby a few people talking. During their conversation one of them blurted out "Cody's sister pissed in the fridge dude." -Schaffe
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #37

February 15, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing a match of Zombies with some of my friends, we were on the Black Ops map – Kino. My friend jumped behind another one of my friends and shot a zombie in the chest. The guy who got his 10 points stolen quit the game. He was the host. We were on round 24.-Tom
I was playing Black Ops the other day against a clan and on the load out screen for Nuketown heard two of the guys who sounded pretty young and Hispanic talking. "Dude, if you had to had to do your mom, sister, dad, or brother, which would it be?" To which the other guy answered, "Wait. Which brother?" I couldn't stop laughing the whole match.-E-D4S
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article An Expert's Analysis of the New Steam Controller

By Andrew Bridgman / September 27, 2013

An Experts Analysis of the New Steam Controller

Filed Under   valve   steam   steam controller

Article Halo Firefight: A Hero's Death

March 7, 2011
  1. General

    Uh, Mrs. Gunki77er?

  2. Mother

    Yes, general?

  3. General

    There's no easy way to say this. Your son died in a Halo firefight last night-

  4. Mother

    What?

  5. General

    Ten times, ending his game.

  6. Mother

    That…that is a lot of times.

Filed Under   conversations   halo