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Article Other Controversial Tweets By Adam Orth

By Andrew Bridgman / April 12, 2013

Last week, Microsoft creative director Adam Orth shared some controversial tweets regarding rumors that Microsoft's new Xbox console would require an active internet connection at all times.

Other Controversial Tweets By Adam Orth - Image 1

The internet outcry against Orth's dismissive, condescending attitude was immediate, leading to Orth's departure from Microsoft soon after. However, this is not the first instance of Orth taking a controversial stance on Twitter. Below are previous tweets, that for one reason or another never attracted the same level of outrage.

Other Controversial Tweets By Adam Orth - Image 1

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #81

By Kevin Corrigan / June 24, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Most people don't know this, but my local ice cream shop makes ice cream cakes with pictures of Link on top. Most people don't know this because as soon as they finish making them, I buy them. In fact, I have the schedule of the guy who designs those particular cakes on my Blackberry. I don't want my cakes getting scooped by some fake nerd. One day, I went in to get the cake and some girl was trying to do it instead of Greg. Greg was the guy that usually made the cakes. I later became friends with him. The girl had the color scheme wrong to a disgusting extent. Her Master Sword was black. I got mad and asked her, Annabel, where Greg went. She said, "I don't know, I think he quit." I got so upset I ate the whole cake that night and haven't gone back since.-Bailey

My cousin got married a month ago. He and his wife are both avid gamers. At the reception, they didn't do a first dance. Instead, they set up a projector and PS3, and played a custom level of LittleBigPlanet 2. It was made by the best man for the occasion. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the new standard for nerd weddings.-Dan

When I started at my current job, I was told that I had to provide my own hard hat. I bought one at a local workwear place. It happened to be blue. That was the only color they had left of the cheap ones. I thought it looked boring, so I stuck a "Blue Sun" decal on the front. My co-workers (who are geek-impaired), assumed that it was the logo of my former employer. I never corrected them, and stuck a similar decal on my clipboard. As far as anyone at work knows, I am a proud former employee of the Blue Sun Corporation. Shiny.-NytCrawlr

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Issue #9

June 21, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

I was 11, my dad was painting mine and my brother's room so I had to put all my things in the middle, then went to stay with my grandma. By this point I'd spent probably close to $500 total on Pokemon cards. Anyway, I put my cards in a bin, and because I didn't want to get paint on them, covered it with a towel. My father, also had a towel to wipe paint if it was dripping, and threw it on top of my garbage. Apparently, he at some point confused the two and threw the wrong bin out. By the time I got back, it was past garbage pickup, and my huge collection of cards was gone forever. I had over 50 hollo cards, and every card was in plastic for protection. I still feel sad whenever I think about them.-Anonymous

For years, I refused to be downstairs alone due to the life-sized borg queen bust with glass eyes in the corner. Those stupid glass eyes followed me everywhere I went, I swear to god. That bust is in the loft now. I don't go in the loft anymore.-Ken

I was 12 years old when I first played Silent Hill. As many gamers would know, when an enemy is near, your radio goes static. So one night I'm playing alone in my living room and I accidentally sit on the remote for our stereo. The thing comes on with very loud static. I slept with the lights on for 5 months.-Sno

Article Issue #7

June 7, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

I am the wimpiest gamer in existence. A few years back I was playing Wind Waker when I came across a room that freaked me out. After an hour, my mother came downstairs to see where all the pathetic whimpering was coming from. She found me in the bathroom, shaking from fear and bracing myself to vomit. That's right. I almost puked from getting huge adrenaline rushes. Darknuts are scary. -Stacie

When I was in 4th or 5th grade, my brother and I played the "Are You Afraid of the Dark?: Tale of Orpheo's Curse" on my grandfather's computer. I was convinced that Orpheo escaped from the game and was haunting the downstairs of my grandfather's house. I wouldn't go downstairs by myself until about the 8th grade.-Whitney

To this day I am scared of the dark because I'm afraid a Grue will get me.-Daniella

Article Issue #6

May 31, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

I loved playing Bioshock, but it scared the hell out of me. When some of my friends discovered this, they started having Bioshock parties in which they would sit around and watch me play for comedy value as I involuntarily whimpered my way through the game. I allowed this to happen because I was often too scared to play it alone.-Anonymous

After beating Kingdom Hearts and collecting all the post-game things, I remember attempting the new Coliseum matches. I immediately gave up on Sephiroth, but I was constantly attempting to beat the Ice Titan. On one lucky fight, I managed to get his health down to a point where one more attack ought to have done it. I don't remember what I messed up, but suffice to say I died. I proceeded to cry and scream and I think I tried to throw my chair. My mom ended up taking the game away for several weeks. I never went back to that damn Coliseum.-Conor

A couple years ago, my family was preparing to go on a road trip. Not wanting me to be bored and annoying, they got me Final Fantasy Advance Tactics on my GBA. I hunkered down in the back seat and found myself hooked immediately, I played the whole 6 hour ride; then played well into the night at the hotel room, in fact I played so long that I fell asleep while playing. I woke up and my Gameboy had inevitably run out of battery and turned off. I hadn't saved the game since I hadn't planned on stopping. I broke down and cried in front of my whole family.-Anonymous

Article The Adventures of Thaldin Grixbane: Office LARPer

March 3, 2011

  1. Thaldin

    Fellow warriors! A grave injustice has been committed this day!

  2. Coworker

    What is it this time, Eric?

  3. Thaldin

    As ye all know, within yonder breakroom fridge, there dwells a legendary sandwich, forged with the bread of truth and tempered with Hellman's Lite Mayo.

  4. Coworker

    We all know what a sandwich is, Eric.

  5. Thaldin

    BUT ALAS, whilst I was battling spreadsheets, mine lunch was pilfered.

  6. Coworker

    You could just send an email abou-

  7. Thaldin

    I SUSPECT WOOD SPRITES.

Filed Under   larp   thaldin grixbie

Article Pwn Up: Legend of Luigi

By Andrew Bridgman / September 28, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Legend of Luigi - Image 2
When I first the Nintendo 64, I fell, hook-line-and sinker, for the "Luigi is in Mario 64 myth" and spent countless hours and lives trying to find Luigi. I tried literally every method I could find on the (dial-up) internet to do so, from trying to jump into the lavafall inside the volcano in "Lethal Lava Land" at "just the right angle", using the cannon outside the castle to break through an invisible wall over the lake, to attempting to find the supposed hidden 121st star supposedly at the highest point of the rainbow ride world. After many failed attempts, my 12 year old self was forced to give up on the fruitless mission, not because I realized I was being played a fool, but because I thought I was doing something wrong… It was not until reading Dorkly's article "The 6 Cruelest Hoaxes and Urban Legends in Videogame History" over 14 years later that I realized that I had been hoodwinked.-Gary

I was totally unprepared for my first Latin test – but the first thing I did when I got the paper was to translate all the "mi fili"s that could be found. Thank goodness for Sephiroth.-Nadya

I am in high school right now and taking an AP U.S. Government course. The teacher told us to go home and find an article or a video that represented the importance of the Revelutionary War. So the next day I came back to my class and showed them the trailers for Assassin's Creed 3. In the end I got an F for the assignment.-Kaiser

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #31

December 21, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing Black Ops and I was in the pre-game lobby, when someone asked if anyone had seen the latest episode of Sons of Anarchy. Some guy decided he was going to be a smart-ass and said, "I don't watch that show because it glorifies things that I don't appreciate. I only watch shows that have values and things that I support." Some other guy spoke up and said, "Yeah, that's why you have all season's of To Catch A Predator on DVD." -Big Steve
So I was playing some Free Roam on Red Dead Redemption and I pass this guy who is just standing out in a field doing nothing. I ride up and all I hear on his mic is "fap, fap, fap, fap,fap" followed by grunting. -SHOTBlocker4044
One day while playing MW2 with a coworker, he said "The bigger they are, the harder they fall" since he unlocked the challenge. I regret it to this day, but my response was "No, the bigger they are, the harder you choke!" He never really looked at me the same.-Aaron
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #4

June 15, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it?Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In high school, I got picked on by the guys who brought in BeyBlade tops.-Devin

I had an interview for a promotion at work. My manager told me that the position required patience and the ability to follow through. I told him that wouldn't be a problem, because I've collected all 251 Pokemon in Pokemon Gold. -Chuck

I always play as female characters. If I have to stare at someone's digital ass for 5 hours, it's going to be a female.-Ben

My friend once did the Chidori from Naruto to impress a girl: sound effects, hand signs, and all. She couldn't stop laughing at him. -Damien

I'm 20 years old. I recently spent nearly 36 hours organizing all 4,568 of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, then made the best deck I could possibly conceive. It was a glorious day. I was filled with confidence. I entered a tournament and was ready to kick ass. My first opponent was an 8-year-old girl. It ended quickly with me screaming "HOW COULD I LOSE TO A CHILD AT A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME?"-Cormel

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Twas The Night Before GTA IV

May 4, 2010

'Twas the night before GTA IV and all through the dorm,not a student could sleep, anticipating the following morn.

With their laptops a'glow they laid awake in their beds,while visions of ghostriding motorcycles danced in their heads.

All papers were turned in weeks before due,and all absences saved for this gaming debut.

The hallways were empty, the RAs were gone,they camped out at Best Buy 'til it opened at dawn.So I stared out my window and gazed at the stars,dreaming of beating pedestrians and stealing cop-cars.

Filed Under   poetry