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Article Terran Blues

July 27, 2010
  1. Marine

    Alright, here we go!

  2. Command Center

    Good luck, marine.

  3. Marine

    Yeah! These other marines don't know what they're up against.

  4. Command Center

    Ooh…about that…

  5. Marine

    What? Do they have Firebats? Vultures? We have some too, so-

  6. Command Center

    We're fighting alien monsters.

  7. Marine


  8. Command Center

    An evil swarming hive-mind of monsters. They hatch from eggs. A lot of them shoot spikes or acid, or something. I figured someone would have told you.

  9. Marine

    Wow, uh, nope. They never mentioned the horrible, horrible monsters. In fact, they barely mentioned me being a marine. I'm an astronaut. That's why I'm in freaking space.

  10. Command Center

    Yeah, you should have thought about that before you accepted those 50 minerals, science boy.

  11. Marine

    Okay, so space monsters. Wow. I guess we, we can out smart them, right?

  12. Command Center

    Well in theory. They tend to just rush and kill things. And there's also a race of alien robot geniuses. We have to fight them too.

  13. Marine

    Can't we work with them?

Filed Under   starcraft   conversations

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #46

By Jeff Rosenberg / April 19, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail

I tried Kinect for the first time last night at my friend's house. During an intense game of Beach Volleyball I tried to spike the ball, and proceeded to scrape my hand on his spackled cement ceiling. My hand started to bleed profusely all over the floor. Instead of pausing the game though, we decided to finish the match. Needless to say, I had major bragging rights on the ride to the hospital to stitch my hand back up.-Jon
This happened to a female friend of mine. Her (now ex) boyfriend was playing Team Fortress 2 online, when she decided she was bored, so she dressed up in her best lingerie and seductively walked out to the living room. She leaned up against the wall and gave him a 'come hither' and all she got in reply was "Not now. I'm playing team fortress." She very angrily returned to being bored in the room. He slept on the couch.-Pman
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #10

July 8, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I camped out overnight for the iPhone 4. Not because of Facetime. Not because of the speed. Not because of the retina display. I did it because there's a Magic: the Gathering app that includes life counters, token counters, mana counters, a glossary of terms, and card search.-Tim

I've been playing WoW since it came out, and I have protocols set up so that if my ethernet becomes unplugged or unresponsive while playing, my wireless card will take over the connection.-JA

My ex-boyfriend and I used to play WoW together. He broke up with me because I said male blood elves are gay, then kicked me out of our guild in the middle of a raid. I was so pissed I wasn't going to get my dagger that I didn't even care about the break up.-Sara

I was afraid of the power going out during Y2K, because I didn't want to lose the Everquest group I was in.-Edge

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #6

June 24, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it?Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

On the eve of Halo 2's release, my mom took my brother and I's Xbox away for whatever bad thing we did. The next day, my brother and I put all of our money together, then he skipped school, walked to the Gamestop at the mall (2 miles away), and purchased Halo 2 and a new Xbox. We played in secret for three days in my brother's room before my mom found out. She wasn't really that mad, just flabbergasted at what we did. We got our other Xbox back in due time and had 2 Xboxes until the 360 came out.-Nicholas

I started to play dungeons and dragons because a girl I had a crush on for over year said she liked the game. Last month, I had to stop playing with her because she doesn't role play enough and often speaks out of character.-Luke

When I was 5 I cried and hid in my room when they changed the time MacGyver aired, because it came on before I got home from school.-Ryan

When I was in middle school, we were told to write an essay about someone we looked up to. I wrote a two page essay on someone I knew on Everquest, because he was able to solo a boss everyone said was impossible to kill alone.-Eric

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The 14 Best Reactions to Surprise Christmas Consoles

By Chloe Cole / December 25, 2013


Jack Jingles is the best.


Everyone in the family seems pretty confused by the concept of happy tears

Filed Under   kids   christmas   internerd   unwrapping   presents

Article Office Walking Dead: The New Intern

By Jared Bronen / August 22, 2013
Rollover to see the effects of Jared's choices!

Filed Under   the walking dead   decisions

Article Pwn Up: The Year of the Pwn

By Andrew Bridgman / January 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

My aunt sent me a text asking if I wanted "HALO cry Vegas" for Christmas.-Nick

When I graduated, I took my diploma, held in the air in front of everyone and sung out-loud the "Zelda: found item" song clip.-Brett

Pwn Up: - Image 2

No matter what I do in my life, I feel that my greatest achievement will always be in Paper Mario: the Thousand Year Door when I beat the Pit of 100 Trials before I had beaten Chapter 1.-Riley M.

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Humble Bundle Math

By Andrew Bridgman / September 12, 2013
Humble Bundle Math

Filed Under   charity   indie games   fez   humble bundle   ftl

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #34

January 18, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing zombies on Black Ops with some strangers on PSN. Only one guy had a mic, so he decided to start telling us his tragic life story. RANDOM DUDE WITH A MIC: I live in Boston, I'm unemployed right now, and I have to raise my 2 and a half year old daughter. All I do all day is take care of her and play zombies. I know the entire map by heart, and NO DON'T SHOOT THE CRAWLERS!!!-William
I started playing Halo Reach on Xbox live and hear some twelve year old talking. I guess he was doing science homework or something because he asked "Hey, my teacher wants to know how many atoms are on a penny. I think it's a trick question 'cause JOHN ATOMS (his words) is on the penny, so I should put one." He then proceeds to talk about how maybe the answer is 1991 because that is the date on the penny. He then decides his final answer is 1992, which he got by adding his two answers together. Then he said "I can't wait to be my only one in this class to get the right answer. He could not figure out why everyone was laughing at him.-Joshua G.
I was playing a round of MW2 TDM on Trailer Park. After the match was over, I heard someone with a southern accent saying the reason he did so badly was that he had dial-up. Free dial-up, at that. He was also playing on a black-and-white TV.-Michael K.
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #2

June 3, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Kid 1: I hate when big kids call you out on stuff just because- Kid 2: Dude, you just said "big kids."- Calvin L.

In the middle of a Gears of War game, there were two guys split screening on our team. The one guy said that he had to go to the bathroom, but I noticed that he never stopped playing. I heard occasional grunting and bowel movements for the rest of the game. - Eric

I overheard a guy who sounded to be about 17 doing a drug deal on his cell phone during a free-for-all Halo 3 match. He won by nine kills.- Calvin L.

My friend and I joined a game, and our team was full of little kids. I assumed they were all friends, but then they all started yelling at each other. One kid said "I will rip your balls off!" About 5 seconds later, another kid in the background of all the other kids yelling at each other yells "I'm going to rip your balls off and put it on your pepperoni pizza!" - Ryan D

Filed Under   overheard on xbox