Articles

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Article The Omanyte Before Christmas

December 21, 2010
Filed Under   christmas   pokemon

Article Videogame Math

September 10, 2010


Filed Under   math

Article The 20 Best Dorkly Articles of 2013 (#20 - #11)

By Staff / December 24, 2013

Filed Under   best of 2013

Article Pwn Up: We Built This Rivet City

By Andrew Bridgman / July 20, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: We Built This Rivet City - Image 2
A few months ago, I packed up my 360 and flat screen and headed over to my buddy's place to play dual-Skyrim. We had two Xbox systems going at once in the same living room, each playing our own game of Skryim. We picked up a case of beer & a handle of cheap vodka and got down to business. The next morning, I woke up severely hungover on the couch, packed up my system & TV, and headed home. When I fired up my Xbox later that afternoon, I was in an area of the map with which I wasn't familiar, couldn't find my traveling companion in the game (she was carrying 75% of my inventory), was missing about 10,000 gold, and I was halfway through a quest I didn't remember ever starting. I noticed that I had an auto save from an hour early, so I figured I'd just fire that up and go from there. Upon loading, I was in the middle of Dragon's Reach with every NPG in the castle in hostile mode and attacking me. I tried to find another save file, but I had saved over all my previous games. The lesson: don't drink and game.-Dave

I was in bed just after being intimate with my girlfriend, when I felt the need to sneeze. I sneezed "PIKA-choo!", as I usually did. My girlfriend gave me a really confused look. We broke up shortly thereafter. Pretty sure the sneeze had something to do with it.-Jaime

I have a condition that is commonly referred as "shy bladder syndrome." In other words, I am unable to go to the bathroom if there are other people in the room. Or at least I was. I recently found that if I recite a list of water-type Pokemon, I am able to overcome my condition. Usually by Politoed, I'm good to go.-Joey

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #35

January 25, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing COD:BO with my ex-girlfriend. When we played I always used to abuse a certain gamer. This was called iAmAsUpR1337 and I was going apesh*t at this guy and it didn't help that he was getting 1 kill every 4 deaths. So this kid goes offline after ten minutes of pure abuse and after the game me and my girlfriend go to sleep . When we arrived at her parents house her younger brother, who is seven, said that he finally got Live and Black Ops. I asked him what his gamertag was and he said IAmAsUpR1337. My girlfriend broke-up with me the same day.-Eli
I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 online and I started making conversation with a guy on my team. I told him I was having a good vacation, and then asked him "are you on Spring Break, too?" to which he replied "everyday is spring break when you're unemployed."-Julien
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Star Wars Casting Call Descriptions Are Getting Lazy

By Andrew Bridgman / November 12, 2013

An open casting call was just put up for a new Disney film - and insiders have already confirmed that the vague post is for the new Star Wars film, tentatively known only as Episode VII. Along with it are vague character descriptions with obviously fake names to help hide what characters will be appearing in the heavily-anticipated film. However, a few of these descriptions seem to be doing a pretty bad job of hiding who exactly they're supposed to be.

 

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Filed Under   star wars   casting

Article Pwn Up: Pwnkemon X & Y

By Andrew Bridgman / October 14, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Pwnkemon X Y

I was walking through my kitchen one day and hit my elbow against a drawer that was slightly open. Instead of saying "ow that hurt," I said "ow that did a lot of damage".  I held my head in shame for the rest of the day.

-Brian

 

I just recently saw a commercial for the new Pokemon X and Y. It was advertised with people ages 16-18. My first thought when I saw them talking about the new Pokemon was "These kids are way too old to be playing Pokemon!" Immediately after that thought I remembered that I'm 22 and love Pokemon. I still collect Pokemon cards, play Pokemon games, and watch the show...and I'm married.

-Nicholas

 

I  completely translated Al Bhed in Final Fantasy X myself within a couple hours of starting the game, just because I couldn't stand not knowing every little thing that was going on. I still have the notes in one of my old notebooks. Yes, I had an internet connection. No, I didn't think to just look it up.

-Krista

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article I Think the Daily Bugle Is a Little Biased Against Spider-Man...

July 2, 2012

I Think the Daily Bugle Is a Little Biased - Image 1

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #45

April 12, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I once knew a guy who made his GT "like seven midgets", so when playing online with him you'd get messages like "You killed like seven midgets" or "You were beaten down by like seven midgets".-Kristen
I was playing COD:MW2 and I walked into a lobby and into the middle of a conversation between some people and this girl.Girl: "Yes. I'm a girl" Boy 1: "Shouldn't you be in the kitchen?"Boy 2 "Yea, you should be making me a sandwich with you left hand cause girls don't have rights." (Get it?)The room: (laughing)Girl: "OMG, that's racist!!"The room: (slient)
Not that it really matters, but her avatar was blond…-Phil
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn Up: Final Fantasies

By Andrew Bridgman / August 10, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Final Fantasies - Image 1
My girlfriend and me were at our friend's house last week when the topic of porn came up and she said "I thought I found Jack's porn stash yesterday but it turned out to just be a bunch of Dragonball Z comics in his sock drawer." It was manga, first of all. Secondly, she has no idea how close she came to finding my hentai.-Jack

My boyfriend and I are huge fans of Final Fantasy (from 9 and earlier) and have an age old argument as a result. He insists on calling the Final Fantasy with Cecil as Final Fantasy 2 (from the SNES release in America) and I prefer to call it by its official title of Final Fantasy 4. The same goes for Final Fantasy 3/6 (with Terra). Well the other day we were talking about growing up gaming and I said something along the lines of "My brother and I would share the Final Fantasy 2 file." It was at that moment that my boyfriend actually had a confused look and stated "Wait, Final Fantasy 2 or 4?" It felt like the gift of the magi for nerds.-Heather

I work at an EB Games and I am a huge Pokemon fan, so when kids were coming in to pick up Black and White I'd ask them which starter they'd plan on getting. One kid told me he was choosing Tepig, I asked him why and he told me, "because he can make his own bacon." Suddenly I regretted choosing Oshawott.-Lauren

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up