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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #39

March 1, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I had just joined a game of Black Ops on X-box and the first thing I hear is this little kid saying, "No Calvin you can't come inside, you just rolled around in sh*t!" To this day I don't know if he was talking to his younger brother or dog, but this conversation went on for the rest of the match. Me and my friends could not stop laughing.-Mark
I typically choose not to talk much on COD BlackOps unless I'm playing with people from my friend's list.  I was rolling hardcore CTF solo one day and was teamed up with a party of 5.  I'm guessing they were around 18-21 years old.  They were good teammates and were calling out the opposition for the first half of the match.  As we were switching sides a guy on my team started acting like a radio DJ.  He was actually making some fairly funny comments and everyone on my team stopped talking and was just listening to him.  He went on for a few more minutes when I took my TurtleBeach's off mute and said "I would like to make a request.  Can you play TLC, No Scrubs." He paused for about 10 seconds and then says (in a perfect Radio DJ voice) "We just got a request in so going out to GaveURmomCrabs (my gamertag) we have No Scrubs by TLC" then he played the song over his headset and everyone on my team just sat there listening to the entire song for the rest of the match.  I don't know if I was more impressed with his ability to keep his composure or his ability to play "No Scrubs" within 10 seconds of me making the request. -GaveURmomCrabs
Once I was playing Halo Reach and breaking this guy for being terrible. I made a 'your mom' joke and he says "Well, my parents are dead. How does that make you feel?" Like 5 seconds later all you hear is "MIKEY! YOUR SANDWICH IS READY!" then you hear "MIKEY, YOUR 22 AND HAVE NO JOB. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET A GIRLFRIEND AND MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE?" -Wynntai
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Issue #2

May 3, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

Freshman year of High School my friends and I got super into WoW. I was a warlock. My friends and I would joke around by doing imitations of my voidwalker. While it was funny at first it really got to me. So much so that after a while I started to have nightmares about a voidwalker chasing me. To top it all off, I thought I saw a voidwalker in my room one night and punched this hallucination, which in reality was the shadow of my night stand. My dad made me pay for the damages to the wall and fix it myself using dry wall and a paint brush. -Tyler

My brother and his friend were playing a game on the old Sega Master System, which had a toggle button on the front to turn it off and on. While they were playing, I accidentally hit the power button down, but hadn't released it yet which kept it from turning off. My brother made me sit there holding the button down until they were done playing hours later.-Ivan P.

My dad has always been a bit of a casual gamer. He was unusually fond of Star Fox. So when I got a PS2, my dad was a little disappointed when he found out there was no Star Fox for it. Back when the PS2 was thriving in all it's glory, I had quite the collection. Then I went away to my mom's for the summer. During that time, my father decided he should trade in my system with all my games for a Gamecube so he could play Star Fox Adventures. I never cried so much in my life.-Sonny C.

Article Ain't No Party Like a Mario Party

By Lev Novak / October 26, 2011
  1. Mario

    Hey guys! Party time, am I right?

  2. Luigi

    Yeah…uh, hey dude?

  3. Mario

    Shoot.

  4. Luigi

    Why did you invite Boo and Wario?

  5. Mario

    It ain't a party unless our enemies are here, for some reason.

  6. Luigi

    Yeah, but Boo? You know ever since the haunted-

  7. Mario

    Let it go, bro. Just…just let it go.

  8. Wario

    Hey dude, where are the chicks?

  9. Mario

    I'm sorry Wario, but the babes are at another party. The only girls we brought for the entire party are our girlfriends. If that doesn't say "party" than I don't know what does. And speaking of that-

Filed Under   conversations   mario   mario party

Article Pwn Up: Octorok 'n Roll

By Andrew Bridgman / August 3, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Octorok n Roll - Image 2
When my wife and I got married, we didn't play the Wedding March. Instead, she walked down the aisle to an orchestral version of "Aria Di Mezzo Carattere" – the opera music from Final Fantasy VI.-John

I had a really important test the other day and was running a little behind. When I finally arrived in class, my teacher told me I was late, to which I replied "a wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to." It did not prevent the detention, but it was still worth it.-Marcelo

I recently started playing Star Wars: The Old Republic. This is the first MMORPG I've played/joined and so I wasn't sure what the protocol was for the general chat, so I didn't really join in. However once I made it to Tatooine I noticed something I just couldn't keep to myself. The first and only thing I said was "Has anyone noticed that though there are two suns, there is only one set of shadows?"-James

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article N64 Wingman

May 11, 2010
  1. Jerry

    Alright guys, I'm gonna go talk to that cute girl up at the bar. One of you mind chatting up her friend?

  2. Falco

    I'll take this one! You get the one behind me!

  3. Jerry

    That's the wrong girl! Falco, WAIT.

  4. Peppy

    I'm GOIN' IN!

  5. Slippy

    Fox! Get this guy off me!

  6. Jerry

    My name's Jerry, dude. And chill, it's just a waiter.

  7. Slippy

    Thanks Fox…I thought they had me.

  8. Falco

    I could use a little help over here!

  9. Girl

    What the hell?

  10. Jerry runs over

  11. Jerry

    Sorry, my friend's kind of out there. It's just his sense of humor.

  12. Falco

    Gee, I've been saved by Jerry. How swell.

Filed Under   starfox

Article Pwn Up: School Daze

By Andrew Bridgman / June 29, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: School Daze - Image 1
In 4th grade, I moved from the ghetto to a nicer area of town. I didn't know anyone there and was very shy, but I soon bonded with a kid in my class named Mack. We liked all of the same nerdy things – but most of all Pokemon. We used to run around the schoolyard every recess holding battles with each other and training our Pokemon. One day Mack invited me over to his house, and after a while he pulled out this huge deck of Pokemon cards and asked if I knew the rules and how to play. Of course being the new kid from across town, I knew how to play – the way we used to play in my old neighborhood. About 3 turns into the match it was very clear that the way of "Raaawr Raawr my Pikachu attacks your guy, you're dead" wasn't how it was supposed to be played. Mack yelled at me to swap the Pokemon off my bench and to attach the element cards before I attacked. I got so fed up of him yelling at me, I ran out of his house crying and never spoke to him again in the 6 years of elementary school and 4 years of high school I had with him. Pokemon grudges last a lifetime.-Connor

I was in my health education class, and we were talking about radiation and what it causes. I had just gotten Fallout 3, and 'I Don't Want To Set the World On Fire' was playing in my head. I started singing it to myself. Then I realized it had suddenly gotten very quiet. I looked around – everyone was looking at me. I've never been more embarrassed. But then one kid jumped up and shouted "Oh man! Fallout 3!"-Alex

Everyday when I wake up I do one of the basic moves from each of the bending disciplines from Avatar: The Last Airbender just to see if I've miraculously learned how to bend.-Casey

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #44

April 5, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I have found that playing in the nude improves my KD. The whipped cream doesnt hurt, either.-Zach
I just overheard my younger brother telling his friend over Xbox to "Watch out, they're taking us from behind!" while playing CoD Zombie. -Tild
I was playing in a COD: BO Team Deathmatch and a little kid was repeating what everyone saying ex., 'You're an ass' 'No, YOU'RE an ass'. Until one point someone said 'Yeah that's funny, If I wanted my own come back I would've wiped it off of you're mothers chin.' The kid raged-quit a few moments later.-Matt
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article The Weekly IRL: Hittin' The Streets (8 Pictures)

February 24, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article Pwn Up: Never Cave In

By Andrew Bridgman / September 7, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Chevy MPH - Image 2
I was running a while ago when I tripped, skinning my knee. It was pretty bad, pretty much covering my entire knee. Strangely, it didn't hurt at all. My first thought was that it was probably the endorphins numbing the pain. I immediately thought of the Hardened Adrenaline Rush in Mass Effect 2, "Your endorphins block out all pain and trauma in addition to speeding your reaction time." I finished the last mile of my run in record time, imagining that I was leading my team through the Collector's Base suicide mission. And even though I was just imagining, Garrus still died.-Cuyler

I was car shopping for a blue Chevy Sonic, however after I test drove the car with the dealer I mentioned I would only get the car if I could get a license plate that said "Tails". After which the dealer looks at me like I was crazy and asks "why?" …Maybe I should have said "Miles Prower"?-Jeff

I'm a grunt in the Marine Corps. The 15 mile hikes with 100 lbs of gear on our backs can get pretty rough – so in order to stay motivated, I repeat the Cave Johnson lemon speech in my head.-James

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Nerdy Food Stuffs

By Staff / June 30, 2011
Filed Under   the weekly irl   pokemon