Article Pwn Up: Homestuck
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
-Claire
I was late to work one day last week, and there is a long, clear, straight stretch of road I have to take to get there. The speed limit is 20 mph, though (because it's adjacent to a school parking lot and a residence hall), which makes it a great place for policemen to hang out and catch anyone going more than 5 over the speed limit. As I turned onto this road, my index finger began twitching I was thinking of hitting F5 to quicksave in case I get caught speeding. I've been playing too much Skyrim.
-Natalie
I have a daughter on the way. I'm trying to convince my wife to name her Tali. I'm thinking of letting her name our daughter, so if we ever have a son, it'll be my decision and we can name him Garrus.
-Anonymous
Article Pwn Up: Snake Healer
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
-Jacob
A few weeks back I cut my foot open pretty bad. I thankfully found the first aid box in my house, but I had no idea what to do. Then I remembered how the health system in Metal Gear Solid 3 worked and was able to take care of my foot that night. I mean I still had to go to the doctor a few days later. But Metal Gear Solid 3 saved me a trip to the emergency room.
-Virginia
I've been playing a lot of Skyrim lately, and was recently given a quest in Markarth called "The Forsworn Conspiracy". I won't go into all the details but eventually the quest lands you in prison where you have to break out with the leader of the Forsworn (at the time it didn't occur to me to kill him and break out myself) so I helped him and some of his followers break out. As soon as we did, they started wrecking havoc on the town and I began to panic. While I didn't care for the corrupt family that was in charge there and I did feel kinda bad about the Forsworn guys, I'd spent so much time helping various villagers and getting to like them that I just couldn't let this all happen to them. Unfortunately, my last save was from five hours earlier. After a few minutes of debate I decided that the good people of Markarth were worth losing a few hours of progress.
-Katie
Article Pwn Up: The Majora Leagues
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
-Kyle
A friend of mine went on a mission trip the Philippines earlier this year. When he went to the Mall of Asia, he got bored waiting in line at the Starbucks. What he did then was randomly yell the first line of 'Still Alive' from Portal ("This was a triumph
"). Pretty soon, the whole line was singing along, except for a few very confused older people.
-Ian
I was one of 2 people waiting in line for the midnight release of Assassin's Creed 3. Probably would have been more except I was in New York during Hurricane Sandy. Still worth it though.
-Daniel
Article Banjo's Backpack
May 9, 2010- Kazooie
Banjo, wake up! Grunty kidnapped your sister!
- Banjo
Oh no, we have to save her! Quick, get in my backpack.
- Kazooie
The fastest way to get .. wait, what?
- Banjo
What?
- Kazooie
Did you just tell me to get in your backpack?
- Banjo
Well yeah, of course I did!
- Kazooie
What good can I do if I'm in a backpack?
- Banjo
It's got legholes so you can carry me up slopes!
- Kazooie
Right .. look I think we need to talk.
- Banjo
What do you mean?
- Kazooie
I'm starting to feel like you think I'm some kind of tool for you to use however you like. I'm a living intelligent being, just like you and Mumbo and all those talking object with eyes. You treat me like crap and I'm sick of it.
- Banjo
Now hold on, we're a team and we always will be! You and me, best buds forever!
- Kazooie
What species of bird am I?
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #30
December 14, 2010Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
-Michael
While playing a sixteen-man game of HALO: Reach, one of my friends asked who "Respawn" was and how/why he kept killing her.
-Oscar
So there I am being an idiot on the Wii version of black ops using the headbanger headset and singing Justin Bieber songs very badly and this kid is all like "shut up! You can't even sing!" throughout the entire four matches he put up with me. Fortunately the Wii didn't have headsets before so all these six year olds don't know about the muting option. Now I can sing Justin Bieber all day and these six year olds have to put up with it.
-Joe Momma
I was playing a free-for-all wager match on Black Ops, and after discovering he wasn't the only one with a mic, a guy spoke up and said, "Hey, is it strange that I'm playing Call of Duty naked?" I responded: "Not if you win."
-Dan
Article A Conversation Between Smash Bros. and my Ten-Year-Old Self
September 8, 2010- Me
Okay Kirby, you're going to do great. Just stay cool.
- Kirby
Can I do a move other than the thing where I turn into a rock and drop on people?
- Me
No. That's the best move ever. It works all the time
- Kirby
on easy.
- Me
Shut up, okay? We've been doing great. I'm good at video games. Anyway, are you ready for the final challenge?
- Kirby
Yeah, I should be fine. I've fought everyone. Giant Donkey Kong, Metal Mario, polygons armies, whatever. I'm set.
- Me
Right. Uh, Kirby, there's no easy way to say this. You're fighting a giant hand.
- Kirby
- Me
It's a giant disembodied magic hand that can shoot missile-bullets.
- Kirby
Like the same giant hand that tosses us around at the beginning? And gives us life? Like, essentially our God?
- Me
Yeah. I guess so. Also it's flying. So let's get going.
- Kirby
nothing we've done could have prepared me for this. I mean, this is the same hand that you can select me with. Has that even occurred to you? You're asking me to conquer God here. This has nothing to do with anything I've done so far.
- Me
What about when we broke the targets? And landed on the platforms?
- Kirby
Those parts are stupid and everyone hates them!
Article Pwn Up: I Can See Your Halo
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
-Christian
I was so pumped to hear everyone throwing the word BAMF around recently. I thought it was cool that a comic book reference had become modern slang. It wasn't until much later that I found out that the current use of BAMF was not a reference to the sound Nightcrawler made when teleporting.
-Zack
I recently went to see a movie with my girlfriend. Since it was the Friday after Halloween, all the theater employees were dressed up. We go to get our popcorn and the cashier has an awesome Link costume, complete with a sword, shield and Navi. I compliment him on his costume and he lets out a big relieved sigh and says "Thanks man, you're the first person to get it. Everyone keeps calling me Peter Pan."
-Fraser
Article Pwn Up: Everybody's Working for the Wii-kend
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
-Abraham
When I was in grade school, I had trouble remembering which side was "left" and which was "right". This was around the time the SNES first came out, and a friend and I were playing Super Mario World together. He had gotten the Nintendo Power issue that showed all the secret exits in the game. The picture illustrating how to find the exit to the blue switch palace showed Mario riding a Yoshi through a block that looked like it was part of the foreground, with a caption along the lines of, "You can move through the block on the left side of the screen." And to this day, when I need to remember which side is left and which is right, I usually imagine that picture in my mind along with the note that "Yoshi is on the Left."
-Jacob
I was watching an episode of the Big Bang Theory a few years ago, and at one point, Sheldon said, "That is my spot, in an every changing world, it is a single point of consistency. If my life were expressed as a function on a four dimensional Cartesian coordinate system, that spot, from the moment I first sat on it, would be 0-0-0-0." My first reaction wasn't, "wow, nerdy," but instead, "Cartesian? Since the earth is round, spherical coordinates would be more efficient."
-Derek
Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #10
July 28, 2010Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
-Danceder0961
"I put up with so much crap from my ex-wife. When she asked if her boyfriend could move in with us, that's when I'd had it."
-Tim R.
Me and my friend were playing CoD MW2, and some kid with the gamertag "CalibratedLemur" was annoying everyone, yelling "GET SOME!" after every kill and generally being an ass. Then, about halfway through the game we hear: "Hey, CalibratedLemur. That rhymes with lubricated wiener, which is what you want, in your FACE." This followed with a weak "Nuh uh ", and then LubricatedWiener shut up. I think someone's due for a new gamertag.
-Sam W.










