Article Dorklyst: The 6 Worst Endings In Video Game History
If you've been anywhere on or near the internet in the past few weeks, you may have heard that a few people (everyone) are a little less than pleased (foaming at the mouth with rage) with the ending to Mass Effect 3. But there are worse endings than Mass Effect 3 out there. Endings that are more indefensible, awful, controller-shatteringly frustrating, or all of the above. Now, let's go over the six worst endings in videogame history
6) Knights of the Old Republic II
Before we talk about the story in KOTOR II, let's bring up the minor point that the gameplay was laggy and full of stuttering, with piss-poor quality video and tons of content cut from the final product. Good, we have that out of the way.
But that all pales in comparison to the absolute what-the-hell nonsense of the game's plot and ending. You awake one somber Jedi night (see what I did there?) to find yourself on the Ebon Hawk, famed ship of Dark Jedi Revan. You don't know how you got there, or why there's an unconscious old woman named Kreia with you. To make a long, pointless story short: you never find out why, Kreia turns out to be an evil Sith (to absolutely no one's surprise), and using a gravity-based superweapon, you destroy an evil planet. Which was great, because um it was bad? And apparently a threat?
Really, the thing that made KOTOR II's ending so bad was that nothing really led up to it. Throughout the entire game, the plot is scattered and unfocused, without any real consequence on the table, because the game feels entirely disconnected from the original Knights of the Old Republic. Can you believe they allowed a beloved Star Wars property to have a wildly unfulfilling follow-up? Oh, you can? Really easily? Nevermind then.
Article The Nine Greatest Nerd Fears Today
9. George R.R. Martin Dying Before Completing the Song of Ice and Fire Series
If I had to describe George RR Martin, I would say something like "HIV-Positive Santa Claus" or "Gandalf After Getting Kicked Off 'The Biggest Loser' For Trying To Eat His Own Beard." Neither of those things are sterling pictures of good health exactly, but they do more or less accurately describe the overweight, rapidly-aging fantasy author who still has two books left to complete his epic A Song of Ice and Fire saga. Not that he's going to die tomorrow or anything, but time is not on George's side here and that's the one thing he really needs. Maybe if he didn't take 5 years apiece to write the previous two books in the series, we could be a little more optimistic. But since the series has expanded from a trilogy to a heptalogy (seven book series), who knows how much more George could stretch it out? He even recently announced he's not going to even START writing the sixth entry The Winds of Winter until January 2012. George RR Martin is 63 years old if he takes 5 years per book, that would put him at 73 by the end of the series. I don't want to bring up statistics about the median lifespan of males, but
let's just say Winter is coming, George. The way things are looking, he may only have time to write "And then everyone died." for the last book. Hopefully from at least 6 perspectives.
8. Our Kids Seeing the Prequel Star Wars Before the Original Trilogy
Parents, generally, want the best for their children. They want them to have all of the best experiences possible while minimizing the amount of negative ones. Unfortunately, George Lucas has created a tough world for any prospective nerd parent. On the one hand, he's given us some of the greatest films of all time films that captured the imagination of nearly every child who saw them. Who wouldn't want their kids to have that same experience?
Well, there was another group of films George Lucas made these were wholly lacking in imagination, any sense of adventure, and instead of being set off by a ruthless empire trying to quash a fledgling rebellion of scrappy fighters was set off by a tariff dispute. This is not the thing that will inspire the hearts and minds of children everywhere. This is the kind of empty spectacle that will bore the sh*t out of a kid and make him or her never want to see another Star Wars again. You can't control every aspect of your kid's life they could see the prequel trilogy first. Maybe a friend (with cruel, ungodly parents) have the movies sitting out. Maybe it's on TV one day and you're not around to slap the remote out of your child's hands. And then it'll be too late Star Wars will never be that amazing, perfect trilogy. It'll be a mediocre sci-fi franchise.
If the first Star Wars film you saw was The Phantom Menace, you probably wouldn't be quite so psyched for 5 more installments, right? Plus, the prequel trilogy completely ruins one of the greatest reveals in cinematic history: that Anakin Skywalker is Darth Vader! Also, he built C-3PO. Can't spoil that for the kiddies.
Article The Dorklyst: The 7 Most Disturbing Moments in Pokemon History
Some people have the absurd notion that Pokemon is nothing more than a series about obnoxiously cute and cuddly critters beating each other to the point of exhaustion all in the name of friendship and perseverance. Okay, they may be kind of right in that regard, but what these naysayers don't know is that beneath Pokemon's misleading exterior there is a seedy underbelly. Here's our tribute to the most disturbing moments in Pokemon.
7) Celadon City Pervert Alert (Pokemon Red/Blue/Yellow Version)
This elderly individual decided to take full advantage of the Celadon City Police Department's preoccupation with the influx of Team Rocket grunts to indulge in his voyeuristic pastime: peering through the windows of the Celadon City Gym uninterrupted.
The sleazy geriatric in the process of pumping his "Diglett" unabashedly declares "Heheh! This gym is great! It's full of women!" "Women?" More like a gym full of teen girls trying to hone their trainer skills in peace; preferably without Peeping Toms fogging up the windows. Fortunately for the old coot, your character wasn't a police officer, because if he were, the old perv's wrinkly ass would've been hauled off to the nearest prison, where he would likely have a firsthand experience with a Horn Drill attack in the communal shower. It's a one-hit KO!
6) The Final Battle with Wally (Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald Version)
Up until Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald, your rivals in the game were by and large intolerable asshats that made it a point to go out of their way to either bombard you with putdowns or spring up out of nowhere for a battle you didn't expectt. Wally, on the other hand, was the complete opposite: meek, kind and get ready for this one, folks sickly. What he suffers from isn't elaborated upon, but it's enough to cause his family to have a deep concern for his health. And his greatest wish is to be a Pokemon trainer just like you which causes a moral dilemma here.
Despite his weak condition, and protests from his family, Wally manages to make it to Victory Road for one final challenge against your at this point crazy strong character, who he's been idolizing since the outset. Basically, your battle against Wally is a small child making a wish to the Make A Wish Foundation to play a one-on-one basketball game with his favorite star player. But imagine that this player doesn't hold back. Instead, he totally brings his A-game, including smack talk, underhanded maneuvers and post-game showboating. That's your final battle with Wally and it leaves you feeling like the worst trainer in the history of the game series. So, how does victory taste?
Article The Dorklyst: The 15 Worst Weapons In Videogame History
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
This important-sounding quote was spoken by some guy after you die during Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2, and it still holds true. Weapons in videogames, too, keep getting more and more powerful, yet there are still ones included in games that make us wish we had the raw power of some sticks and stones instead. We're not talking the purposely-terrible joke weapons that show up sometimes (like the mop in Chrono Trigger or the Bubble Gun in Earthworm Jim 2) we're talking the weapons the developers thought you'd actually use at some point. These are the 15 worst weapons in videogame history.
15. Needler (Halo: Combat Evolved)
The Needler can actually be a pretty effective weapon in Halo assuming the target is totally still, your aim is on, and you have enough ammo. Unfortunately, players tend to move around in Halo (sometimes in different directions), getting the aim dead-on can be difficult, and if you don't have enough ammo, you're doomed. Hell, it's not like they're not being upfront with us at least to "needle" typically means "to goad, provoke, or tease." Basically, it's a weapon designed to annoy your enemies not kill them. And unfortunately, "killing" is a pretty important thing to do in Halo. Luckily, the Needler was improved in subsequent Halo games, stealing the raw power once held by the mighty Pistol.





















