Article 6 Posts on Videogame CraigslistSeptember 14, 2010
In regard to Blizzard announcing that their forum users need to show their full names when posting.
StarCraft 2: Heart of the Swarm was originally expected to be released in 2011, or early 2012 at the latest. However, during development, it was continually delayed, until it was announced that it would be released on March 12, 2013. This announcement was soon followed by an gorgeously-rendered opening cinematic from the game:
Dorkly has discovered that this incredible cinematic was the reason for the delay. Here is a full transcript of the cinematic's director, presenting his original rough draft to the executives at Blizzard:
Okay. Wow. Something something just occurred to me.
Hmmm. Hear me out.
That game you guys are working on Starsomething 2? Craft? Ah, that's it. StarCraft 2. Right. Anyways, StarCraft 2 you know how you asked me and the rest of the cinematic team to create an elaborate, gorgeously-rendered 3 minute opening cinematic for the next chapter of StarCraft 2, Heart of the Swarm? Well there's a slight snag. We did produce an elaborate, gorgeously-rendered 3 minute opening cinematic. The scale of the thing is unbelievable staggering, even. The effects are mind-blowingly realistic. Truly, this is our masterpiece. It's really a thing of beauty. We screwed up just one minor detail, though.
We made it for Shrek Fairy Tale Bowling 2013, not StarCraft 2.
Article Sims Make The Worst NeighborsJune 16, 2010
Oh hey neighbor. I see you're painting outside at 3 am again. And it's the same picture you've painted three times before.
ROSEBUD. ROSEBUD. ROSEBUD.
Ah ha. Just wondering if you've seen my pool ladders or my wife WHOA. You reek, man.
(sobbing uncontrollably) I NEED TO SHOWER AND/OR WASH MY HANDS!
Yes, you definitely do. You should probably go to bed too. You look exhausted.
(yawns) I AM VERY SLEEPY!
Frank collapses and falls asleep.
Oh come on, this again? Go to your bed, Frank. It's literally four feet away in the house.
Carpool pulls up.
FRANK WE ARE THE CARPOOL AND WE ARE HERE TO TAKE YOU TO YOUR PLACE OF WORK.
Frank! GET UP! Your carpool is here!
(wakes up instantly) TIME TO GO TO WORK.