Articles

(Page 116)

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #15

August 31, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One day I was playing Halo 3 with my friends, and naturally we were "pretending" to be gay lovers, and we get matched up with this 12 year old. After putting up with our antics, the 12 year old makes a great discovery: "Hey if you shoot a turret, and hold the controller on your testicles, it feels really good."-Jake C.
I was playing a free roam match on Red Dead Redemption with a few friends of mine and we were attacking this other posse at Fort Mercer. We went around the back of the fort and wrecked the only kid guarding that side. He then without thinking said "Gosh I've got 3 guys on me back here." I replied without missing a beat "You should be used to that". The room erupted into laughter, even his own teammates. The kid left without saying a word.-SHOTBlocker4044
During a free-for-all match in MW2 some little kid got tired of everyone killing him while he was trying to snipe he says "THAT'S IT, I'M GOING COMMANDO!" After that some random older dude proceeds to say "Oh yeah, does the mean you're going to be naked?" Then when the match finally ends and we all see the killcam (which was a quick no-scope in the air) the little kid says, "THAT WAS SO EPIC THAT IT MADE MY NUTS DROP!"-Jose
I was playing Search and Destroy on MW2 when I heard a really whiny-voiced kid start complaining about campers. I asked him how old he is and he told me was in the second grade. I asked him what a penis is and he told me it was like a hot dog but smaller and it doesn't taste as good.-Austin
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article The Weekly IRL: Star Wars Sweets

By Staff / December 8, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl   star wars

Article Pwn Up: The Pwnening

By Andrew Bridgman / September 16, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

 

Pwn Up: The Pwnening I play a LOT of Borderlands 2. So much to the point that, whenever I have a lot of things to do, I list them out on a piece of paper as mission objectives. The most important ones (school work, chores, doing stuff at my job) are Story missions and the stuff I can do eventually (writing, calling old friends, watching a TV show/movie) are Optional missions. I even came up with a way to give myself EXP. for doing them. I'm currently at level 25.
-Jeff 

I'm a budget gamer, so it wasn't until fairly recently that I got to play Fallout 3. About 20 hours in, I found the follower Charon.  He stayed with me and saved my ass numerous times for the next 30 or so hours of the game.  Then I got to the Citadel and met Star Paladin Cross. I wanted her as a follower, so when I broke the news to Charon, I left my old follower some good armor (Talon Combat Armor and Power Armor), a couple different rifles (my preferred weapon style  in the game), most of my shotgun shells (since that's what he likes to use) and a couple thousand caps. The same thing happened when I was close to finishing the main story and found Fawkes.  As I told Cross she can stop being my follower, I gave her a bunch of weapons, armor, and caps as thanks for her assistance. I think of it as severence pay.
-Shaun

Earlier this year I had ran out of games to play so I started free roaming on Just Cause 2, I'd mainly just fly helicopters about. Around the same time my dad had gotten us a remote control helicopter. When I was using it one night a text came in on my phone. I had played so much Just Cause on my Xbox that I pressed the non existent start button on the rc helicopters controller to try and pause it. As I put the controller down it flew up, hit the ceiling, bounced down and cut my ear. I stopped playing Xbox for awhile afterwards. 
-James

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Say My Name

By Jake Young / February 24, 2014

Like the pine trees lining the winding road, you've got a name. You've got a name. This week on Pwn Up, we wanted you to share the stories behind your gamertags, RPG characters, and any other psuedonym used for nerdy adventuring. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

 

Pwn Up: Say My Name

 I always, in literally every game I play, name my character "Rook". I started doing this because my brother, sister, and I would always watch 3 Ninjas and then run around the house pretending to be the main characters. When I saw this week's topic I decided to re-watch this important piece of my childhood and I came to a bleak realization. Years of my identity was based on a VERY mediocre 1992 movie, and there was no character named "Rook". There was somenone named Rocky, and my siblings never corrected me once. If only Colt or Tum-tum were here to help me cope.

 

-John

Filed Under   pwn my life   xbox live   pwn up   gamertag   screenname   psn

Article The Internet vs. FALCON PUNCH!

By Staff / March 3, 2014

 

FALCON PUNCH

via Imgur / Youtube

 

 

FALCON PUNCH

via Imgur

Filed Under   smash bros   falcon punch   captain falcon

Article Street Fighter Background Character FAQs

June 2, 2010

Article 4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

By Andrew Bridgman and Jake Young / March 27, 2014

4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

 

1. Your God Abandoned You

  4 Reasons It Sucks To Be An Ewok

Wow, that must have been pretty incredible to MEET a god - well, C3PO isn't an actual god (more of an effeminate robot butler), but the Ewoks THOUGHT he was a god. Some kind of benevolent savior that had been delivered to them for reasons unknown. However, after Return of the Jedi, odds are C3PO went with his buddies and left Endor - and the Ewoks.

That's right - their god abandoned them, never to return. That has to sting - the ultimate rejection - a being that you pray to and honor as the highest of being, just picking up and leaving when you need Him the most. After all, C3PO just convinced them to join the Rebel cause and battle the Empire, which led to countless Ewok deaths.

Speaking of...

Filed Under   Sad   star wars   ewok   ewoks

Article Need For Speed: Trouble in Seacrest County

January 19, 2011
  1. Captain

    So Rook, how was the first day?

  2. Rookie

    I'll be honest, Captain, I'm pretty confused.

  3. Captain

    Rookies always are. There's a lot to take in on your first day, I'm sure you'll do fine.

  4. Rookie

    But I'm just not sure I get it. It just feels a little over the top.

  5. Captain

    OK Rook, let's hear it.

  6. Rookie

    You know when Simmons took me out to try and break up that race earlier? Do you know what car we took? A brand new Zonda! Those things cost about $400,000!

Filed Under   need for speed

Article Issue #5

May 24, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

A year or two before Batman: Arkham Asylum came out, my TV and Xbox 360 hard drive broke simultaneously in one awful sound and static flash of light. I lost all my data, and was really angry, but that's a different story. When Arkham Asylum came out I played it nonstop. When I got to the part where your screen goes all static I thought it happened again, and screamed and cried. A minute later, I realized the static was part of the game. I was in an Xbox Live party with my friends. They heard everything.-Silas

I lent my PSX to my cousin. When I went to his house to retrieve it, he told me that he had sold it. I miss Crash Bandicoot.-Murilo

Article 7 Terrible Videogame Movie Adaptations

June 17, 2010


Plot: A rag tag group of Missourans set off on a light-hearted adventure in search of gold in "The Oregon Trail." Along the way they'll encounter all sorts of wacky situations, from a hilarious case of fatal diarrhea to a pratfall-filled river fording attempt, to a squirrel hunting expedition that's sure to tickle your funny bone!
Cast: Adam Sandler as "The Pharmacist", Kevin James as "The Wainwright", Rob Schneider as "The Surveyor", David Spade as "The Saddlemaker"
Inevitable Sequel: Oregon Trail 2: We Thought Of A Few More Diarrhea Jokes
Filed Under   movies