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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #16

September 7, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

12 year old boy on MW2 to his mom."Mom where the f*ck is my chocolate milk? You said you were gonna make me some motherf*cking chocolate milk, and I don't see no motherf*cking chocolate milk".-Oto
I just got Team Fortress 2 a few months ago, so my friends helped me get some achievements by us acting out the required actions. We were in an empty server, until this Australian kid (no older than 11) joined. He kept complaining that he wanted achievements too, so one of my friends told the kid "If you shout BANGBALLS really loud, you'll get the achievement for that." Not only did the kid repeatedly shout that over and over, trying his best (us laughing our asses off behind mics) another friend of mine joined our game. "Oh, it might work now that HE'S in here." "Okay, but I'm only doing it one more time! BANGBALLS BANGBALLS BAAANGBAAALS." Till the day I die, I will never forget.-Chris
I'm a female gamer. While playing Halo3 the other day an annoying nasally voiced kid starts hitting on me. He tried several pick up lines two of the best were "I hope you have flood insurance cause you're about to get wet" and "Girl do you fart? Cause you blew me away." Then proceed to rap about random crap the whole match and got 1 kill.-T
I was playing Halo at like 3 in the morning and I fell asleep mid-game from a combination of fatigue and liquor. The other team had heard me snoring into my mic and had started searching out my body for free kills. When I woke up it was to a bunch of guys screaming in my ear in the lobby – apparently one of the best players on the other team had come up to kill me, and I had somehow managed to assassinate him in my sleep, scoring the winning kill for me team and ruining his spree. He raged and quit for the night, and I don't remember a thing.-Kristin
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Everything You Need To Know About Tonight's Community (Season 5, Episode 3)

By Andrew Bridgman / January 9, 2014

Everything You Need To Know About Tonights Community Season 5, Episode 3

This episode is titled "Basic Intergluteal Numismatics."

Intergluteal meaning "between buttocks" and numismatics meaning "currency, primarily coins". And, uh, basic meaning..."basic". So basically (see what I did there?) - Coins Between Butt-Cheeks.

Everything You Need To Know About Tonights Community Season 5, Episode 3

...and they delivered.

Filed Under   community

Article Great Job, Steam Taggers!

By Andrew Bridgman / February 14, 2014

Recently, Steam introduced a tagging system to its platform - allowing users to add tags to games in order to better categorize their vast library of selections. Naturally, users have already gone hog-wild into abusing and trolling the system. Great job, Steam taggers!

 

Barbie Dreamhouse Party

A post-apocalyptic horror masterpiece that's HUGE in the competitive Major League Gaming scene.

Great Job, Steam Taggers

Filed Under   wtf   steam   internerd   tags

Article Everybody Hadoukens, and We Have the GIFs to Prove It

By Jake Young / February 20, 2014

Consider the mighty Hadouken. The most universally famous of the special moves, there is something so compelling about it. Focusing your energy, drawing back, and with both open palms releasing a powerful blast to obliterate your enemies. At least once in your life I bet you even tried to do it when nobody was looking. Young or old, human or animal, nobody can escape the fantasy of the Hadouken which is why we've assembled these GIFs.

Admittedly, a few Kamehameha Waves got thrown in there and not Hadoukens, but let's stop pretending those are two different things already. 

 

Let's start with these guys who are all masters of the variant technique "The Dad-ouken"

Just Some Everyday Hadouken Gifs 

Filed Under   irl   street fighter   hadouken   gif   internerd

Article Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

By Andrew Bridgman / January 13, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we look at your greatest nerdy victories. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

  Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

 

When my brother was twelve, I was seven. For my seventh b-day, my uncle gave me a PS2 and a copy of FFX.

As in all the families, my brother played and I watched. He beat the game several times - but he never did three things: Complete a Blitzball League, beat any of the dark eons, and pass 9999 of damage, which he accomplished only with Auron. 

This year I was in England for two and a half months with some of my parents' friends. 
Their son had a PS2 with a FFX. I resisted only 2 days - then I passed literally 4 days gathering the astral weapons and the emblems. 
Then, dead Zanarkand, something between 2 am and 8 pm of July,18. 
Auron, Tidus and Yuna.
Yuna>Summon Yojimbo
Yojimbo>Give him 1 gil because cannon-meat for Dark Bahamut's turbo
>Zanmato
 
Immediately dialed my brother's number. 
"Marco, how are you doing?"
"I killed that asshole."
"Who?"
"Dark Bahamut."
We both cried and laughed until my host family made me hang up
 
-Marco

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Boss Music: 5 Classics From Final Fantasy VII

November 8, 2010

Boss Music is a weekly column dedicated to classic videogame music. Have a game you want featured? Tell us at the Dorkly Facebook page.



Filed Under   final fantasy   boss music

Article Pwn Up: v1.8 Adventure Update

By Kevin Corrigan / September 9, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

All of the computers at my work are linked together. I was bored one day and decided that, since nobody checks on me, I would play solitaire. After winning my first game, I noticed that I wasn't even close to the top score in the office. That was held by my boss. One month later I had the top 23 scores and was fired for playing games on the job.-Brendon

I lost a bet. The wager was that I had to get an SNES controller tattooed right above my arse, on the area generally known as the "tramp stamp." I love it.-Anonymous

My girlfriend and I play strip Pokémon.-Anonymous

My dad walked in on me during a Catherine cut scene that had some sexual tension. He left quickly, making things very awkward. He didn't talk to me for a few days after, just the occasional "Hi son" whenever I walked in the front door. One day he gave me a sleeve of DVDs and said, "It's not my place to judge, just don't let your mother find out." Confused, I popped the disk into my laptop and it was anime. I fast forwarded five minutes and it was hentai. My dad thought I was playing hentai on my PS3.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The 20 Best Dorkly Articles of 2013 (#10 - #1)

By Staff / December 26, 2013

  The 20 Best Dorkly Articles of 2013 10 1

 

10. The 8 Types of Sims Players

There is a clear temptation when you begin playing The Sims to simply make yourself and recreate the world around you. After all, you know yourself, but wouldn't it be great to see how a virtual version of you would react to a world where you're your own god? You can make yourself, your one bedroom apartment, and see how Virtual You compares to Real You. Can Virtual You get a job in politics by babbling in front of a mirror and telling gibberish jokes to random passers-by? Because that didn't work out so well for Real You.

Filed Under   best of 2013

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #15

August 31, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

One day I was playing Halo 3 with my friends, and naturally we were "pretending" to be gay lovers, and we get matched up with this 12 year old. After putting up with our antics, the 12 year old makes a great discovery: "Hey if you shoot a turret, and hold the controller on your testicles, it feels really good."-Jake C.
I was playing a free roam match on Red Dead Redemption with a few friends of mine and we were attacking this other posse at Fort Mercer. We went around the back of the fort and wrecked the only kid guarding that side. He then without thinking said "Gosh I've got 3 guys on me back here." I replied without missing a beat "You should be used to that". The room erupted into laughter, even his own teammates. The kid left without saying a word.-SHOTBlocker4044
During a free-for-all match in MW2 some little kid got tired of everyone killing him while he was trying to snipe he says "THAT'S IT, I'M GOING COMMANDO!" After that some random older dude proceeds to say "Oh yeah, does the mean you're going to be naked?" Then when the match finally ends and we all see the killcam (which was a quick no-scope in the air) the little kid says, "THAT WAS SO EPIC THAT IT MADE MY NUTS DROP!"-Jose
I was playing Search and Destroy on MW2 when I heard a really whiny-voiced kid start complaining about campers. I asked him how old he is and he told me was in the second grade. I asked him what a penis is and he told me it was like a hot dog but smaller and it doesn't taste as good.-Austin
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article The Weekly IRL: Star Wars Sweets

By Staff / December 8, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl   star wars