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Article 5 Awkward Moments From E3 2010

June 17, 2010

1. Konami's WTF Press Conference

I've got to give them credit, it takes a lot of guts to give a press conference in anything but your native language. Still, that doesn't make it any easier to watch. Konami Producer Tak Fuji stumbles through an extremely hard to understand intro, only to pass it off to Thomas Nagano and Naoki Maeda for an awkward slam dunk. Worst. Alley-oop. Ever.

2. Controller Issues During Miyamoto's Zelda Demo

I get it, an entire room full of active mobile devices probably isn't the best thing for a wireless gaming demonstration. And in Nintendo's defense, the Wii was mostly responsive during the first half of their "Skyward Sword" demo. But the second half, particularly any moment involving Link's bow and arrow, was tough to sit through. There are few things stranger than watching someone pitch their "revolutionary" product, only to have it fail in front of a huge live audience.

Filed Under   e3

Article Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

By Jake Young / January 6, 2014

Last week on Pwn Up we asked for your geeky stories about parties gone wrong. Boy howdy did you folks bring your "A" game to this one. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail




I was at this kick-ass surprise birthday party for a friend in highschool. The Birthday Boy came home only to discover that his house had become a giant game of hide-and-seek and he had to find all his buddies, including his long-distance girlfriend who had planned the whole thing. The house was huge and all 15-20 of us were completely concealed. I was hiding in his closet. It was not a bad spot, a little more safe than a parent's bedroom or something. Well the game dragged on, and after Birthday Boy found his girlfriend they snuck upstairs to his bedroom and started getting frisky with each other...

[read on...]

Filed Under   party   pwn my life   costume   pokemon   pwn up   pacific rim

Article Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas

By Andrew Bridgman / July 22, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas
I ate almost nothing but ramen for two weeks straight so I would have enough money to afford to go on a spending spree in the most recent Steam Summer Sale. I'm hungry and not feeling well, but it's all worth it for my newly expanded Steam library.-Devon

I started a new Fallout 3 game not too long ago, planning to take a more evil route. My first order of business was to blow up Megaton. At first I got a little apprehensive, thinking I could blow it up and then revert to a previous save. But when it came time to do it, I couldn't bring myself to hurting the good people of Megaton, not even if I could immediately undo it.

I thought this proved what a good person I was. Then I remembered I had no problem at all killing Butch and his mom back in the vault.-Anonymous

I was in the 3rd grade when Pokemon Red/Blue came out. After months and months of harassing my parents, I was finally successful in explaining that Pokemon Blue was probably the only thing in the world I care about when it came down to Christmas presents. My parents would always leave out a few presents unwrapped around the tree for my two sisters and I to entertain ourselves while they slept.

At about 4am, after knowing that this would be the time I would finally get the game. I snuck into to the living room and there it was: a Game Boy Color and Pokemon Blue. As my tiny 3rd grade hands attempt to open everything, I realized I needed scissors. This resulted in me slicing my thumb right open. I covered it with paper towel, picked Squirtle and got on with my adventures. My mom woke up a few hours later, horrified to find my hand and clothes spattered with blood as I stared intently at the tiny screen.-Brad

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article I Think The Game Over Guy Has Emotional Problems

September 7, 2010

Filed Under   street fighter   game over

Article Limbo Mashups That Make Eternal Purgatory Seem AWESOME

By Chloe Cole / March 14, 2014

Limbo Mashups

via Boredom-xD

Filed Under   limbo   mashups   fanart   internerd

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #17

September 14, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

OK, so I was playing a Team Slayer match on Halo 3. Every once in a while, I could hear someone saying "Nice job!" And after could hear a baby laughing. I asked what he was doing and who he was talking to, and he said, "I'm teaching my 2 year old how to play." This 2 year old beat us all with 24 kills.-Phillip

In the lobby of a Halo 3 matchThe game is about to begin and I hear one opponent say, "Dude hurry up, the match is about to start."  His friend on another account responds, "Don't worry I'm peeing out the window, almost done."-Cody

A few weeks ago my roommate and I were playing MW2 on PSN. We joined a game and the first thing we hear is a pre-pubescent African American boy telling another player that, "even though my balls ain't dropped, they still bigger than yours!" We laughed and encouraged him as he continued to tear the other guy apart with language that would make a construction worker blush. Right before the game started the object of our taunts told us to "F**K OFF," and dropped out. After that, the kid sang "Oops, I did it Again," for the entire match. I would adopt him if I could.-Drew

"You're such a sexy piece of foreskin!" -Jake

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #18

September 21, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

OK, so my Dad just started gaming to get in with the 'Hip' and 'In' crowd (namely MW2 and BC2) and reckons he's pretty good at it. He is constantly sitting on the couch over the weekends, yelling "Yeah Baby!" every time he gets a moderately lucky/skillful kill. The other day I'm sitting in the other room and I hear him playing MW2 loudly. I was about to go in and ask him to shut up when I hear the iconic 'HISSS" of a combat knife, followed by my father's angry muttering "The combat knife, we meet again, my arch nemesis" I nearly crapped myself laughing.-John
So me and a bunch of my friends were playing Gears of War 2 on the weekend for the 25 times XP weekend. We hosted a game of Social Guardian and all of these random people started joining instantly. We played throughout the whole game and we destroyed the other team every round. At the end of the game one of the guys on there team started whining about how "it took two COG soldiers to take down one locust soldier". After he said that the room went quite and I said "you should be use to having two guys double team you" everyone in the room started laughing and the whole entire Locust team quit right after that.-Justin
I was playing Halo reach with one of my friends on Xbox live and we got to a part where a warthog was optional. We really don't like the vehicles much so we decided not to use it. I proceeded to destroy the warthog and my friend asked me why. I replied, "So the covenant don't use it." He continued by stating from his immense halo knowledge (all from halopedia might I say) that the covenant would never be caught dead in a warthog. Needless to say a warthog with 2 elites, one at the wheel the other at the turret come barreling around the corner and splatter my friend. I then heard his girlfriend say over the mic, "Wow you got owned, maybe I should be sleeping with your friend instead."-Arman
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #24

August 26, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I can and do chug an entire can of Diet Coke during most load screens.-Josh

I was 15 when I got a Sega Dreamcast. It was the best console I have ever had. Not because of the graphics, not because of the 3D Sonic game, and not because of the memory cards with the little screen on them, but because it was capable of going online. It was the perfect way to look at porn without my parents finding out.-Anonymous

When I was 11, I was playing Pokemon Red and realized I had to poop. I was in the Safari zone at the time. I went into the bathroom and when I started I came across a Kangaskhan. Through some sort of crapping magic I managed to catch it and was filled with joy, when all of a sudden my batteries ran out before I could save the game. That was the first time I ever cried on the toilet.-Bobby

I cried when I got hacked on WoW. I'm an adult.-Anonymous

I'm the co-founder of my high school Rubik's Cube Club.-Court

When I was younger, I was very reluctant to read. My mother tried and tried to teach me, but all I wanted to do was play video games. One day she decided that she wasn't going to read any game guide, or text within the game for me anymore. From that day forward, I forced myself to learn to read.-Chris

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Weekly IRL: Turtle Power

By Staff / December 1, 2011

Filed Under   the weekly irl   tmnt

Article Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

By Andrew Bridgman / February 17, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the the travails you went through in the messy world of online gaming. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail  


  Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

This is a story I assume you'll get more than one of. Day-God Damn-Z. I won't tell every story just the most entertaining one. I spawned near Three Valleys and started trekking north to Berizino. The usual shtick. I met up with a friend of mine in-game and we looted building and killed zombies. We were held up by 3 bandits with guns, all our equipment taken and force fed rotten fruit. We were then told that we had to fight to the death for charcoal tablets. I hesitated for a second but he hesitated for 2. The 3 bandits gave me back my axe and sent me on my way - but I have to LIVE with that shit now. DayZ - the only game that can really make you question your conscience.

Filed Under   pwn my life   mmo   pwn up