Articles

(Page 112)

Article Origin Story: Paperboy

July 26, 2010
  1. Atari headquarters, 1983. A group of bored game designers sit around a table.

  2. Carl

    All right, guys, I know it's been a slow day, but let's finish on a high note, okay? We just need to come up with something that kids will find fun. We were all kids once. What did you guys think was fun when you were kids? How about you, Jonathan?

  3. Jonathan

    Hmm… I had a paper route for a while. That was pretty good.

  4. Carl

    Okay, good. What sort of stuff did you do?

  5. Jonathan

    Let's see… I delivered papers. That was important.

  6. Dave

    Sure. What else?

  7. Jonathan

    Well, I delivered the papers while riding a bike.

  8. Russell

    Okay! Bike riding! Now we're getting somewhere!

  9. Jonathan

    I don't know. The whole biking around thing wasn't really that fun. I remember having to spend a lot mental energy just avoiding obstacles. Lots of fire hydrants and lawnmowers and bees. Also a lot of breakdancers for some reason.

  10. Dave

    Hmm. Maybe we should focus on the act of delivering the papers. You had to throw the papers at the houses, right?

  11. Jonathan

    Oh, yeah.

  12. Dave

    And throwing stuff's pretty fun, right?

Filed Under   conversations   nes   paperboy

Article Crisis in Donkey Kong Country

July 12, 2010
  1. Donkey Kong breaks open a barrel containing Diddy Kong. Diddy falls out, dazed.

  2. Donkey

    Diddy! Are you all right?

  3. Diddy

    (rubbing his head) Jeez… what happened?

  4. Donkey

    King K. Rool has stolen all of our bananas! The entire hoard's gone!

  5. Diddy

    No! God, no…

  6. Donkey

    I know. So we've got to get them back. Luckily he left a trail of perpetually spinning bananas that lead to his hideout.

  7. Diddy

    All right, let's — hey, wait. Perpetually spinning bananas?

  8. Donkey

    Yeah. Look.

  9. They both look at a nearby line of three bananas, each one spinning in the air.

  10. Donkey

    Oh, also, all the spinning bananas hover.

  11. Diddy

    Jesus… And there's a trail of these? All the way to his hideout? The one in that boat that's miles away?

  12. Donkey

    Yeah. A trail of thousands of hovering, spinning bananas. So?

Filed Under   conversations   donkey kong

Article The Guide to Sherlock: Getting You Up To Speed For the New Season!

By Andrew Bridgman / January 14, 2014

Filed Under   TV   guides   sherlock

Article 3 Surefire Tips To Having a Successful Videogame Kickstarter

By Andrew Bridgman / July 31, 2013

Cannot stress this enough: being developer Tim Schafer is the most important thing you can do to ensure the success of your videogame Kickstarter. Being Tim Schafer gives your project the air of quality that simply isn't there for projects run by non-Tim Schafers.

People who have been Tim Schafer have a 100% success rate (see: Double Fine Adventure, Massive Chalice), and have had all their projects funded well beyond the initial goal. Those who pledged seemed to have an implicit trust in projects run by people with the name, physical body, and history of Tim Schafer.

Filed Under   kickstarter   advice

Article 5 Awkward Moments From E3 2010

June 17, 2010

1. Konami's WTF Press Conference



I've got to give them credit, it takes a lot of guts to give a press conference in anything but your native language. Still, that doesn't make it any easier to watch. Konami Producer Tak Fuji stumbles through an extremely hard to understand intro, only to pass it off to Thomas Nagano and Naoki Maeda for an awkward slam dunk. Worst. Alley-oop. Ever.

2. Controller Issues During Miyamoto's Zelda Demo



I get it, an entire room full of active mobile devices probably isn't the best thing for a wireless gaming demonstration. And in Nintendo's defense, the Wii was mostly responsive during the first half of their "Skyward Sword" demo. But the second half, particularly any moment involving Link's bow and arrow, was tough to sit through. There are few things stranger than watching someone pitch their "revolutionary" product, only to have it fail in front of a huge live audience.

Filed Under   e3

Article Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas

By Andrew Bridgman / July 22, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Bloody Christmas
I ate almost nothing but ramen for two weeks straight so I would have enough money to afford to go on a spending spree in the most recent Steam Summer Sale. I'm hungry and not feeling well, but it's all worth it for my newly expanded Steam library.-Devon

I started a new Fallout 3 game not too long ago, planning to take a more evil route. My first order of business was to blow up Megaton. At first I got a little apprehensive, thinking I could blow it up and then revert to a previous save. But when it came time to do it, I couldn't bring myself to hurting the good people of Megaton, not even if I could immediately undo it.

I thought this proved what a good person I was. Then I remembered I had no problem at all killing Butch and his mom back in the vault.-Anonymous

I was in the 3rd grade when Pokemon Red/Blue came out. After months and months of harassing my parents, I was finally successful in explaining that Pokemon Blue was probably the only thing in the world I care about when it came down to Christmas presents. My parents would always leave out a few presents unwrapped around the tree for my two sisters and I to entertain ourselves while they slept.

At about 4am, after knowing that this would be the time I would finally get the game. I snuck into to the living room and there it was: a Game Boy Color and Pokemon Blue. As my tiny 3rd grade hands attempt to open everything, I realized I needed scissors. This resulted in me slicing my thumb right open. I covered it with paper towel, picked Squirtle and got on with my adventures. My mom woke up a few hours later, horrified to find my hand and clothes spattered with blood as I stared intently at the tiny screen.-Brad

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article I Think The Game Over Guy Has Emotional Problems

September 7, 2010

Filed Under   street fighter   game over

Article Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

By Jake Young / January 6, 2014

Last week on Pwn Up we asked for your geeky stories about parties gone wrong. Boy howdy did you folks bring your "A" game to this one. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: PARTY HARDLY

 

I was at this kick-ass surprise birthday party for a friend in highschool. The Birthday Boy came home only to discover that his house had become a giant game of hide-and-seek and he had to find all his buddies, including his long-distance girlfriend who had planned the whole thing. The house was huge and all 15-20 of us were completely concealed. I was hiding in his closet. It was not a bad spot, a little more safe than a parent's bedroom or something. Well the game dragged on, and after Birthday Boy found his girlfriend they snuck upstairs to his bedroom and started getting frisky with each other...

[read on...]

Filed Under   party   pwn my life   costume   pokemon   pwn up   pacific rim

Article Limbo Mashups That Make Eternal Purgatory Seem AWESOME

By Chloe Cole / March 14, 2014

Limbo Mashups

via Boredom-xD

Filed Under   limbo   mashups   fanart   internerd

Article Pwn Up: Romance of the Three Geekdoms

By Jake Young / February 10, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the nerdy, geeky, and otherwise socially-awkward romances you've had or are currently in. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

 
Pwn Up: Romance of the Three Geekdoms
 
When my boyfriend and I first met, he introduced me to League of Legends, one of his favorite games.  I sucked hard (of course) but he stuck with me until we were taking on ranked games together.  Every day we would come home from work and play a game (or 7) until we went to bed.  We called this "spending time together" (SPOILER ALERT: it wasn't) and he would give me advice on how to improve my game.  One day, it happened - I mastered a position that he didn't play often, so when he played it I would give HIM advice... and the fights started.  My boyfriend finally uninstalled the game because he feared for our relationship.  And that's how I unintentionally made my boyfriend quit a game he had played for years and spent hundreds of dollars on.  True love right there!
 
-S.

Filed Under   pwn my life   love   pwn up