Articles

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Article Pwn Up: A Link to the North Pole

By Andrew Bridgman / June 10, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up:

Back in 2006, I was half asleep in my moms car listening to the radio, when they began a contest to win, at the time, the new Playstation 3. Having heard this, I jumped out of my seat and demanded my mom to call in. Fortunately I was one of the few people who actually made the call. A week later, they dropped it off at a Gamestop, where I was given a choice for any game I wanted. With strict parents, I couldn't choose any game with a gun in it (Resistance, Ratchet & Clank), so I had only one option: Sonic '06.

I did not touch my PS3 again for three years.

-Charlie

I remember buying the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection last year, and playing it all day. Later that day I realized I was out of snacks so I went to the supermarket, and when I arrived a cashier's cellphone started ringing. And his ringtone was the sound of a codec call. So what did I do? Without thinking I reached out my finger to press the select button (to answer the call). It took me about 10 seconds to understand why I couldn't answer it. That is how I found out that playing for 5 hours non-stop is bad for you.

-Gustavo

Saw this while driving home the other day. The license plate was "GNDLFWHT."

-Daniel

Pwn Up:

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Vidjagames University

By Jake Young / October 28, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Vidjagames University  

 

When I was in my late teens I started looking for a college to attend. At one particular college, I got to preview it overnight - which just so happened to be around when Halo 2 came out. Throughout the day we were supposed to go see what classes were like, tour the campus, and sit through seminars. Instead, I played Halo 2 in an abandoned classroom with some students and ditched the program. I ended up going to that school after all. I like to think it was Halo 2's doing.

-Loren

 

I'm an assistant teacher (or at least I think that's a similar term for what I do) at the University of Buenos Aires, here in Argentina.

Since I have to write up the practical exams, I usually try to include some gaming references in them. For example, in this semester's exam, the test was about a company named "Abstergo", whose founder was "Augusto Desmond" and they have to choose between a system called "Renaissance" offered by a company by the name of "Ezio" and a system called "Eagle", offered by "Altair".

 Even though the references are pretty obvious, I've received no comments from the students so far. How disappointing. Students should play more videogames.

 -Gustavo

 

Filed Under   college   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pre-Med Internship at the Videogame Hospital

May 10, 2010
Filed Under   diary

Article Pwn Up: Monsters in my Pocket

By Jake Young / November 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

   Pwn Up: Monsters in my Pocket  

 When I turned 12 I wanted a dog really badly but my family didn't have much money so for my birthday I got the next best thing: a Tamagotchi. I wasn't so thrilled at first, but after a couple of poop cleaning cycles I started to grow attached to it. I even asked my parents to come back early from our holidays because I had forgotten Dick (yes, that was the name of my egg shaped, monochrome pixel-made friend) in one of my drawers. 

After that episode I took him everywhere with me, obsessively checking his status every 5 minutes to check he was okay. I even went as far as to take him to school with me every morning, even though it wasn't allowed. I kept him hidden and was able to bypass my teachers' attention for a good couple of months, until...

One afternoon, after school, I was waiting for the bus with a friend when suddenly 3 kids about our age jumped us out of nowhere. They had blades and we had no experience fighting so we didn't put up any resistance. I gave them my bag while firmly holding Dick hidden in my pocket.

They seemed appeased by the contents of my bag, all except for one kid who kept looking at me with curiosity. He eventually told his friends I had something hidden in my pocket and forced me to show it to them. I resisted and took one hell of a beating before they snatched Dick out of my clenched fist. They looked at him, didn't know what it was, laughed and threw him to the street. I watched in shock how a pickup truck turned my friend into dust.

My friend helped me get up, but I wouldn't have it. I walked back home alone, bruised and dirty, crying the whole time. I felt responsible, as if I had betrayed and lost a friend.

When I finally got a dog the next year, I took care of him like he was the most important living thing in this world. To this day we remain best friends, even in his final years. His name is Dick.

 

-Gabriel

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Family Games Night

By Jake Young / January 27, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Family Games Night

 

 

A couple of weeks before Mass Effect 3 was released here in the UK, I decided to play through the entire Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 in preparation. It came to the day before ME3 release and all I had to do was the Collector's Base at the end of ME2. I must have only spent an hour or so on it, but I got really engrossed in it. When I finally finished it and the credits were rolling, I looked at my phone and saw 13 missed calls from my brother.

It turns out his wife had gone into labour and he had been calling me, so that I could drive them to the hospital, as per our agreement a week or so before. In the end, he'd given up and called a taxi. I felt so bad that I paid them for the taxi fair, and also took them out to dinner once they were comfortable enough to leave the baby at my parent's for an evening.

 

At the dinner, when we were finally alone together for the first time since the incident, he asked what I'd been doing that had gotten me so engrossed that I missed all 13 calls. So I loaned him Mass Effect and he's now as addicted as me...I don't think my sister-in-law is very happy with me at the moment. But oh well. Brotherly bonding FTW.

 

-Matt

Filed Under   pwn my life   gamers   family   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: SummerSlam

By Kevin Corrigan / September 2, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Gamestop is speed dial #3 on my phone, right between my mom and Pizza Hut.-Elliot C.

I'm a journeyman electrician. When it came to make business cards, the only logical step was to cover them with various electrical Pokemon. They are a huge hit. At the bottom they even include the tag "It's super effective," so you know I am a pro.-Anonymous

A few days ago I woke up and stumbled into my living room where I was met by my roommate. He politely asked me that the next time I use his laptop that I not delete his browsing history because doing so had cleared all of his stored passwords and such. After casually agreeing and apologizing, I looked towards his girlfriend to see that she was giving me a look of stern disappointment. I explained that I had deleted the history in fear of being ridiculed for spending all night browsing color palettes and taunts for my favorite Street Fighter IV characters so I could choose the ones that were the coolest. Neither believed me, they assumed I had been looking at porn and I could not convince them otherwise. I still haven't decided if the truth is more embarrassing or if I should consider this a victory.-David S.

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Geeks in Love: The Rise of the "Special Feeling" Meme

By Jake Young / February 20, 2014

Another meme has taken hold of Japan. Born of geek culture, Valentine's Day, and the polar vortex, it's a veritable perfect storm of internet exploitability.

It all started with a news report about the extreme winter weather that's been hitting Tokyo. The reporter stops a young couple to ask about the snow and the umbrella wielding man answers "being in the snow with my lover like this envelops me in a special feeling. I like it." 

 

Oh Hey Japan: The Rise of the Special Feeling Meme

 

Japanese Geeks in Love: The Rise of the Special Feeling Meme

via 

 

Filed Under   Japan   romance   fanart   internerd

Article Twitter Cannot Handle the Human Torch Casting

By Andrew Bridgman / February 20, 2014
  Twitter Cannot Handle the Human Torch Casting

Twitter Cannot Handle the Human Torch Casting

Article The Sims Expansion Packs Get a Little Too Realistic

May 10, 2010
Filed Under   sims

Article The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 28, 2014

The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

This winter has been pretty rough. Snow, ice and freezing rain are showing up in parts of the country that exclusively wear flip-flops. Life in the polar vortex has been like living in a videogame ice level. Sometimes it can be fun, sometimes a lot of fun, but too much can be a real drag. In recognition of the unusually crappy climate conditions, we've compiled a list of the most difficult and dreadful snow levels in gaming. Grab some hot cocoa and stay inside with some games that will make you feel like you're stuck outside.

 

10. Spelunky - Caves

 

Spelunky is great - but it's also the worst game ever made. Every level of this platforming roguelike is designed to murder you and make you feel like it was your fault. "Why'd you make me do that, baby? If you hadn't provoked that giant spider it wouldn't have scared you into impaling yourself on that spike pit." The third world, the Caves, is especially brutal. Fraught with tough jumps, landmines, wooly mammoths and laser-shooting aliens, traversing the Caves is made even harder by the icy-slick surfaces. Getting thrown into a bottomless pit by a yeti should be a sign about how you're spending your time, but it will only make you slap your back with a belt and try again.

Filed Under   snow   levels