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Article Pwn Up: All Ghillied Up

By Andrew Bridgman / March 18, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: - Image 2
My freshman year of college was when Call of Duty: Modern Warfare was released. The two weeks leading up to spring exams, my buddies and I played the game pretty much 24/7, surviving only on a diet of pizza rolls, diet tea, and cookies. By the end of the two weeks, it began to mess with my head. I even had dreams I was in the game. One night, there was a huge thunderstorm. I fell asleep on the couch after another long day of playing Call of Duty. While asleep, I had another dream I was in the middle of warfare. After a loud crash of thunder, I jolted up half awake. At that moment, my roommate came running down the stairs and said it sounded like shotguns outside. Still in a daze, I began to freak out. He asked me what was wrong but I told him to leave me alone. Before I went to sleep, I made peace with everything in my life ready for the war outside to take my life. The next morning I was alive and my roommates were wondering what was wrong with me last night. It was then that I realized the events that took place. Moral of the story: man can not live on a steady diet of pizza rolls, cookies, and Call of Duty without consequences.- Robert L.

Since my fiancee and I live 12 hours away from each other, we decided to meet up halfway (in Dallas, TX) to take our engagement photos in May. I just rescheduled the day of the photos with the photographer so that we can be there for Dallas Comic-Con solely so that we can meet Nathan Fillion.-Leigh

I asked a friend once the usual "What would you do if you had a time machine?" question. I was expecting the usual "I'd go back and kill Hitler" or something. But without much thought, he retorted "I wouldn't want a time machine. I'd have to beat Dark Souls again." It was the single best answered I'd ever received for that question. I was stumped and realized, I wouldn't want to a time machine either that point.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #5

June 22, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

Playing MW2Player A: They're all in the bunker, you guys go in the back door.Player B (without missing a beat): That's what she said.-Ross H.

During a CoD MW2 game these two kids on my team were going at it about bitch play styles and what not. When one of them seemed to be backed into a corner he came back with the simple question of "What's your credit score? No seriously, tell me your f*cking credit score!" He won the argument because the other kid had a sh*tty score.-Eric

"If someone doesn't shoot down that Harrier, I'm gunna fart in my hand and smell it!"-Brent

Last week I was playing Halo and this kid's Mom comes into the room and starts yelling at him to clean his room or she will start breaking things, He told her to F-off, Then we start hearing, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, not my DS! SMASH. Then no, no, not my Xbox… He went offline, we assume he got his Xbox smashed.-Josh

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn Up: Legen - (Wait For Seven Years) - Dary!

By Andrew Bridgman / December 2, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

 

Pwn Up:

When we were young with a friend we used to play "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" we knew we had to travel in time because we had seen Adult Link's footage, but we didn't know how to do it.

So, since we had already acquired Sun's Song (the one that makes you go forward half a day) we thought that we had to play it 5110 times (seven years). After a couple hours playing the same song over and over we stopped.
 
-Hendrys
 
 
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When I was about 15 or 16 my parents went out of town and left my brother and me at home alone. We didn't throw a party or anything but decided to smoke weed. At this point I had only smoked twice and didn't get too high. However, this time I got absolutely blazed. My brother sat down and blasted a new rap cd while I played Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance. I played for what seemed like an hour, completely dominating the cp opponents. I only realized when I turned the Xbox off that the first player controller was never even plugged in (but the second port controller was). I think I was watching the demo video the whole time but I'm still not really sure.

-Tim

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #4

June 17, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing CoDMW2 and a kid, (I'm assuming about 13-14) announced after a 12 kill streak "I AM THE BRINGER OF DEATH AND DOOM! BOW BEFORE ME. NONE CAN STOP MY MIGHT", closely followed by "Honey, if you don't take out the trash I'm going to take you off your silly game." The reply from the kid was mostly warbled moans, pleads and cries.-Dave

I got rickroll'd over Xbox live.- Hunter K.

"I'm gonna cut your d*ck off and tape it to my d*ck! Then I'll have a super-d*ck!"- Brian D.

My friends and I were playing Call of Duty 4 and one of my friends is notorious for making fun of girls and little kids. This one match there happened to be a very annoying girl playing, and my one friend started picking on her trying to get her worked up. Halfway through the match, a little kid spoke up and told my friend to quit harassing her. Immediately after the kid said this, my friend told the kid that if he didn't shut the F*** up, he was going to spread the kids nut sack around his dick and use the skin to jerk off. The girl that the kid was defending laughed at the kid, who left moments later. - M0RM0NxMURDERER

Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn Up: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

By Jake Young / February 3, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the "WTF Moments" that still leave you shaking your head. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 
In university I took a principles of law class which I really enjoyed. I put a lot of effort in studying for the endterm but I got an average grade. My professor offered me a lifeline in the form of a single oral exam that would boost my whole GPA if I did well enough. I had never taken an oral exam before in my life so I had no idea what to expect. I was extremely nervous. 
 
As she started asking me questions I was beginning to struggle and I could tell it wasn't going well. I wasn't going to get the high grade. Then she told me she had a young son who collected pokemon cards and he had recently been tricked because a kid traded a common card for one of his holo-rares. She asked me, "As a lawyer, how would you solve this dispute?"
 
 
Pwn Up: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
 
 
I was shocked, of all the things she could have asked about, Pokemon cards were my favorite things in the world at the time (and I still play today). I had encountered this situation myself where I traded my Geodude for a holo Machamp back in elementary school, tricking another kid, and had to subsequently return it after I was told off by the teacher and parents. Not to mention that I had witnessed many other situations like this. I began elaborating in extreme detail about all the possible options of going about the problem, both in the schoolyard among us kids, and with adults involved.
 
She was very impressed, and gave me a solid 8/10 for my oral exam.
That was definitely the strangest experience from my university days, the time Pokemon got me the best grade in the class that semester.
 
-Dim

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #27

September 9, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I have always put my boyfriend to shame when it comes to playing video games. Here's my secret: when he challenges me, I play it off and say that the game looks stupid. Then I study his moves and learn his weaknesses. In my spare time, I buy, borrow, or rent the game and work my way to awesomeness in secret at my apartment. Once I'm confident, I re-challenge him. While we're playing, I play the cute card and pretend I don't understand how I could beat someone as good as him. My grades suffer for a week or two, but being able to gloat is worth it.-Anonymous

When I was in 8th grade, I would routinely fake stomach aches after a Friday night sleep-over. Then my dad would pick me up with all my Pokemon cards ready in the car, and we'd go to Toys R' Us for the Saturday morning Pokemon club.-Justin

My co-worker has been telling me non-stop about his iPhone 4 for two months. Yesterday he was showing me his new favorite app when he got a call from "Wife".Me: Who's that?Him: My wife.Me: WTF? When did you get married?Him: Two months ago.-Bennington

I own a full Cats (The Musical) costume. I even attended the show wearing it once.-Andi(A different kind of nerdy, but still extremely nerdy)

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article TMNT and the Ginger

September 1, 2010
  1. Donatello

    There's so much blood!

  2. Leonardo

    Holy sh*t Don, what happened to you?

  3. Donatello

    I got jumped by the Foot Clan. Oh god, I can't feel my legs…

  4. Michelangelo

    Cowa-bummer dude!

  5. Raphael

    Don, you don't look so hot. I think you should go to the hospital or vet or something.

  6. Donatello

    No it's ok, I just need some pizza.

  7. Leonardo

    Umm, I'm not a doctor, but I don't think this is the best time for a pizza run.

  8. Raphael

    Yeah, you're not supposed to be bleeding from your ears like that, and your leg looks kind of broken-ish.

  9. Donatello

    No, guys, I just need some pizza. Can you look through those trashcans Mikey?

Filed Under   conversations   tmnt

Article The Weekly IRL: May the Food be With You (7 Pictures)

By Staff / September 1, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl   star wars

Article Pwn Up: A Link to the North Pole

By Andrew Bridgman / June 10, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up:

Back in 2006, I was half asleep in my moms car listening to the radio, when they began a contest to win, at the time, the new Playstation 3. Having heard this, I jumped out of my seat and demanded my mom to call in. Fortunately I was one of the few people who actually made the call. A week later, they dropped it off at a Gamestop, where I was given a choice for any game I wanted. With strict parents, I couldn't choose any game with a gun in it (Resistance, Ratchet & Clank), so I had only one option: Sonic '06.

I did not touch my PS3 again for three years.

-Charlie

I remember buying the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection last year, and playing it all day. Later that day I realized I was out of snacks so I went to the supermarket, and when I arrived a cashier's cellphone started ringing. And his ringtone was the sound of a codec call. So what did I do? Without thinking I reached out my finger to press the select button (to answer the call). It took me about 10 seconds to understand why I couldn't answer it. That is how I found out that playing for 5 hours non-stop is bad for you.

-Gustavo

Saw this while driving home the other day. The license plate was "GNDLFWHT."

-Daniel

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Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Vidjagames University

By Jake Young / October 28, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Vidjagames University  

 

When I was in my late teens I started looking for a college to attend. At one particular college, I got to preview it overnight - which just so happened to be around when Halo 2 came out. Throughout the day we were supposed to go see what classes were like, tour the campus, and sit through seminars. Instead, I played Halo 2 in an abandoned classroom with some students and ditched the program. I ended up going to that school after all. I like to think it was Halo 2's doing.

-Loren

 

I'm an assistant teacher (or at least I think that's a similar term for what I do) at the University of Buenos Aires, here in Argentina.

Since I have to write up the practical exams, I usually try to include some gaming references in them. For example, in this semester's exam, the test was about a company named "Abstergo", whose founder was "Augusto Desmond" and they have to choose between a system called "Renaissance" offered by a company by the name of "Ezio" and a system called "Eagle", offered by "Altair".

 Even though the references are pretty obvious, I've received no comments from the students so far. How disappointing. Students should play more videogames.

 -Gustavo

 

Filed Under   college   pwn my life   pwn up