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Article Pwn My Life: Issue #76

By Kevin Corrigan / May 20, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

After Mass Effect 2 came out, I bought an Xbox 360 and started playing the first Mass Effect so I could play the sequel after. I tend to snack while playing videogames. Around the same time, my friends introduced me to Flamin' Hot Cheetos. Throughout my two playthroughs of Mass Effect and three playthroughs of Mass Effect 2, there was not a moment I was without Cheetos, bot regular and lime flaming hot. Now anytime I see anything related to Mass Effect I get a tingle in the back of my throat and my mouth starts watering. And anytime I see Cheetos I think of sleeping with Miranda or Ashley.-Andrew

The other day, my buddy and I were playing Halo: Reach. He said something about wanting a tattoo and asked for ideas. I suggested our Halo clan emblem. After a pause, he said, "Dude, I might actually do that." We had a 30-minute conversation that ended in us both getting the tattoo.-Anonymous

After eight years of Runescape sobriety, I broke down and played for 17-hours straight. That night I laid awake in bed. Instead of being ashamed of my relapse, I was ashamed that my character didn't level up as much as it should have in those 17 hours.-Sarah

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Sinead O'Connor's Final Open Letter to Miley Cyrus

By Andrew Bridgman / October 10, 2013
Sinead OConnors Final Open Letter to Miley Cyrus

Filed Under   pokemon   sinead o connor   miley cyrus

Article 13 Weird Xbox Live Messages

By Chloe Cole / December 12, 2013

Most Xbox live private messages are riddled with spelling errors, hate speech and everything that challenges your belief in humanity. However, once in a while, a message comes along and reminds you that the medium can be used for poetry, wit and experimental prose. Here are some very special Xbox Live messages.


Most Creative Xbox Live Private Messages

The world deserves to know.



Most Creative Xbox Live Private Messages

Can't believe you almost forgot Spanakopita.


Filed Under   xbox live   internerd

Article Pwn Up: Sonic the Knowledge-Hog

By Andrew Bridgman / July 1, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Sonic the KnowledgeHog
A few days ago, I went to a presentation of a scientific project. It was about medical stuff, and I was distracted and kinda bored. However, at some point I recognized the words "Sonic" and "hedgehog" being said by the doctor, so I quickly looked up at the presentation to confirm that what I heard wasn´t my imagination. It turns out that there's a human protein called Sonic hedgehog and it seemed that I was the only one in the room who notice the reference to certain blue character.-Anonymous

The Lungfish boss fight in Psychonauts caused me to break my $400 TV.-Austin

I was checking out at the convenience shop in my university. The line was long and due to the fact that it was 9:00am, some people were still groggy and grumpy. In spite of this, the cashier was very friendly and nice. She was asking the customers random and sometimes funny questions as she rung them up. When it came to my turn, she asked me

"If you could be the very best at one thing, what would it be?"

"Pokemon training," I answered, without a moment's hesitation.

"Like no one ever was?" she added.

We high-fived.-Christopher

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Follow That Nerd!

By Andrew Bridgman / March 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Follow That Nerd - Image 2
This morning during breakfast, my 3 year old daughter had eaten her S'mores Pop-Tart into the shape of a triangle. She looked up at me and said, "Hey Dad, look! This looks like the Triforce." I have never been more proud.-Kylie

While playing Arkham Asylum at three in the morning, my house was broken into. After yelling at the guy to leave, he ran out the back door. I called the cops. They had already been searching for the guy in the area. About thirty minutes later the cops return and say "We caught him but don't have enough evidence to charge him with burglary. Did he leave anything behind?" I switched to detective mode. After casing the house for a few minutes I find a jacket that smells like smoke(none of my roommates are smokers) and a pair of tiny boots. They now had enough evidence to charge him and I returned to my greater duty, putting Gotham's worst sociopaths back behind bars.-Alex

When I was about 5 years old, I got my first Pokemon game. It was FireRed for my Gameboy Advance. At the time of course, I didn't really understand anything about the game, and right at the beginning I got stuck just because I never read the text with Mom talking to you to check the clock. Months later, I finally figured it out. Always read your texts.-Brady

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Weekly IRL: 5 Awesome Tetris Videos

December 9, 2010

Filed Under   tetris   the weekly irl

Article The Weekly IRL: A Cosplayer's Best Friend

By Staff / October 20, 2011

Filed Under   cosplay   the weekly irl   dogs

Article Dorklassic: New Sim On The Block

September 13, 2010
  1. Bill

    Hello, new acquaintance.

  2. Dave

    Hey, neighbor, can I ask you something?

  3. Bill

    City hall. Rain cloud. Dollar sign.

  4. Dave

    Um, yeah. Listen, I really need a friend. My boss says I can't get promoted until I get one and learn something about cooking. Life in politics is not what I imagined.

  5. Bill

    Soccer ball. Earth. Ghost!

  6. Dave


  7. Bill


  8. Pause.

  9. Dave

    So….you watch any sports or anything?

  10. Bill


  11. Dave

    Um, no thanks. I only ask because my TV only gets four channels, and they all speak this non-sense jibberish language. It's so weird.

  12. Bill


  13. Dave

    Uh, still no, thanks.

  14. Bill


  15. Dave

    Haaaa…very funny. That was not at all awkward.

  16. Bill

    We're friends now.

  17. Dave

    Jeez, really? Okay, whatever you say. I dunno how I'm supposed to prove that to my boss. Would you mind signing something?

Filed Under   the sims

Article Pwn Up: My Kingdom For a Heart

By Andrew Bridgman / August 5, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Hey Guys Whats Up
My family is fully aware of my obsession with Kingdom Hearts, so when Kingdom Hearts 3D came out and the ending said KH3 would be released soon, I was more than sure it would come out in the PS3. With a few good arguments and explaining how a PS3 would be better than our current (at that time) PS2, my parents finally bought it. At this year's E3 though, when KH3 was finally announced I was more than excited, but a little dissapointed it was coming for PS4 and Xbox One. Now I'm hoping it'll release when I finish studying and have a job so I can buy it myself, and I'm just 18. See you in four years, KH3.-Stephanie

I was playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf and just doing some nightly rounds to look for new insects, since it was the initial days of July. I had just seen a scorpion and started walking towards it (I have to mention I was out for dinner and had run into some of my cousin's friends, who had just finished eating and were leaving). One of them extended his hand to say goodbye just as I was getting near the scorpion. I ignored him for a few seconds but then he said: "You need to let go of videogames from time to time." This made me lose concentration, release the button beforehand and finally get stung by the scorpion. To this day I still haven't caught the scorpion and refuse to shake the guy's hand.-Alberto

Lately, I've been going on walks around a nearby lake (probably about two miles) with my girlfriend after work every weekday. She really enjoys it and we talk about everything. However, the real reason I've been going on these walks is that since I got my car about a month ago, my 3DS has had a lot less play coins than normal because I don't have to walk to the train station every day to get to work and school.-Dylan

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #11

August 3, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was at my friends house playing Halo 3 and this one kid in our game couldn't play because he didn't have the mythic map pack, so he asked how to get it. And this other kid said "OK, what you do is you get your Xbox, put in Halo 3, and Shake it!" Then the 12 year old kid disconnected and never joined back in the party.-Cooper
I was playing MW2 a few days after my girlfriend had broken up with me.  I was pretty down in the dumps at the time. After destroying a team in TDM, my opponents all got on the mic and started talking some SERIOUS sh*t to me. Instead of ignoring it or talking sh*t back, I decided to throw them a curveball for fun, saying, "Honestly, compared to everything else going on in my life, having people talk sh*t to me is no big deal."  After a brief silence, one of the guys who had been harassing me said jokingly, "Do you want to talk about it?" The whole lobby, including myself erupted in laughter.-Nick
My (very rude) cousin was over at my house, and he had no problem making himself feel at home and play my 360 without my permission. He went on doing stupid things like friending someone I don't know. Later that day, I was sitting at the table minding my own business when from the other room I hear, "What? My voice sounds like your sister's? It's cuz I make out with her so much!"-Flippy
Filed Under   overheard on xbox