Articles

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Article Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You?

By Andrew Bridgman and Tony Wilson / February 25, 2014

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

 

 

1. Which quiz best describes your personality?

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Filed Under   quiz   buzzfeed

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #22

August 19, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

It annoyed me that that Dan guy said "Megaball" instead of "Master Ball," and "MewToo" instead of "Mewtwo" in the last issue.-Everyone. Get over it.

A few years ago I decided to start playing Maplestory again, but my friend had taken my account and changed the password. When I contacted the GM's, they refused to give me my password so I wrote to them, "You won't give me my password. I'm so depressed that I cannot go on living. I'm going to kill myself." Never thought much of it, until three weeks later when the cops and an ambulance showed up at my door asking if I was alive or depressed. -Cory

Some guy in the 7-11 parking lot just yelled at me for looking at his girlfriend's chest. I wasn't. I was so upset that 7-11 was out of WWE Slurpee cups that checking out women was the least of my concerns.-Sean

My GF and I decided it would be good to take a step backwards and move out after living together for a while. After living apart for two and half months, we both decided it would be better if I moved back in. We tell people that we have learned how to appreciate one another by living apart. The real reason is that I don't have a computer that runs WoW, and her back up computer works great. She and I decided that living together would be better for our WoW characters.-Jan

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #9

July 20, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.
Was playing MW2 when I heard a guy in the background of another games mic saying "Dude, hurry the f*ck up! Your wedding's in 30 mins. So about 25 mins later, I was curious and added his gamer tag, he accepted, and I joined his game. Apparently the wedding was delayed due to some weird claim, and he's now on a killing streak, with every kill he says, "with how many kills I make today is how many chicks I'm going to bang a month, since my bitch wife isn't going to game with me. One of the reasons I married her too."-Arv S.
While playing COD 4 there was this really annoying little kid who was really pissing everyone off. He began to talk about how he was going to rape everyone and their mothers. Everyone was trying to get the kid angry but nothing seemed to work. I then asked the kid if he even knew what rape was. The line was then silent for a few moments until the kid then said "SHUT UP I HATE YOU!' and then left the game. -Kris S.
After he found out I'm from South Africa, a British teenager asked mewhether District 9 was real.-Hadlee
During a game of Search and Destroy on MW2 I was cussed out by an angry 12 year old child. This was followed by the kid talking to his mom with his mike still on. "Mom! I don't want crust on my pb&j!"-Chris B.
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Gamebook: Raiden Tries to Rally The Troops

September 10, 2010
Filed Under   gamebook

Article How To Get Your Girlfriend To Play Video Games

May 11, 2010

1. Make the night about her-

Order in some food, cuddle up on the couch, hell, light a few candles. For this to work, she's going to need to think this night revolves around her pleasure. The key to success lies in how you introduce the idea. Say the wrong thing and you'll be shutting down before you even hit the power button. Try to speak her language. I suggest something along the lines of:

"I want to share my interests with you so that we can understand each other better." OR "My buddies want me to hang out with them but I'm feeling a little low tonight. Let's stay in and eat junk food and snuggle!"

2. A little booze never hurts-

Of course, I'm not promoting non-consensual gaming. However, a little social lubricant will help to get even the most reluctant girlfriend over her inhibitions and into whatever you two want to play. Just make sure she remembers the whole thing in the morning, else your sorry ass is back to level 1.

Filed Under   Video Game

Article Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay

By Andrew Bridgman / June 24, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay
So I have a license, but I do not own a car. For the past six years the only driving I've done has been from driving a big-ass work truck. Over the past few days, I have been playing Sleeping Dogs quite a bit. The game takes place in Hong Kong and, of course, the roads are opposite of American roads (you drive on the left side in the game). I have not driven the truck in a while and today was the first time I got to in months. I take a left and calmly keep the turn tight knowing that the left side of the road is my direction. Imagine my surprise when a car comes headlong at me and I swerve into the right side of the road remembering that I am not in Hong Kong.-KDL

So there is this local Pokémon tournament in my town that I wanted to enter myself in – but they were using SoulSilver and HeartGold, and all my Pokémon are in Platinum (over 300). I spent a whole night in SoulSilver catching 300 Pidgeys to trade into Platinum for my best Pokémon.

I ended up winning the tournament.-Anthony

I've been seeing this girl for some time now, and suddenly she starts showing more interest for my tattoo (I have the hearts from The legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening on my arm), like what game its from and so on… Well today I found out she had an ulterior motive with the information, and here is the result…-Esben

Pwn Up:
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #3

June 8, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I had no ride home from work one night. Instead of walking or calling someone, I went back inside and played The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass on my DS. For 15 hours. Until it was time to start my shift for the next day.-Ty

I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating site. She seemed geeky and cool, so I was honest when she asked what my pet peeve was. I said "Pi." She misunderstood. She thought I was talking about the dessert. I explained that we treat Pi like it's a rational number when it's an irrational number and thus shouldn't be used for practical calculations, and that it's bull crap anyway, because you can draw a circle with an evenly measured circumference, so using non-terminating, non-repeating Pi as part of a calculation is faulty. She didn't say anything for the rest of the date. -Jack

I punched my dad in the face for trying to make me stop playing FFVII in the middle of fighting Sephiroth.-Tom

My friend and I called the Nintendo help line to find out how to unlock the car race mini-game mode in Mario Party 5. They didn't know. We were furious.-Josh

I tugged it to the Danger Girl videogame more times then I can count.-David

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Resident Obstruction

August 25, 2010
  1. Leon

    Looks like we need to walk down this alleyway…Sh*t, it's blocked. There has to be a way around it.

  2. Claire

    But it's just an abandoned car and some trashcans, I'm sure we can climb over…

  3. Leon

    Dammit Claire! We don't have time! I found this letter that says there is a key hidden in the cemetery that will unlock the red door where we can find parts to the fire hydrant so we can put out the fire blocking city hall.

  4. Claire

    But seriously, this pile is made out of cardboard boxes. I guarantee that I can slip between those stacks.

  5. Leon

    It's too high to climb!

  6. Claire

    It's literally four feet high, and there's a ladder leaning against that wall.

  7. Leon

    Oh. I guess I didn't see that before.

  8. Claire

    You didn't see the twelve-foot ladder right in front of your face, but you were going to search a graveyard, at night, infested with zombies, to find a tiny key?

  9. Leon

    Well I guess when you put it like…

Filed Under   resident evil   conversations

Article Pwn Up: Pwn Up Or Shut Up

By Andrew Bridgman / September 9, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Pwn Up Or Shut Up
I have a friend that I play co-op with in Borderlands 2; we have fun usually, but he finds it funny if he can somehow kill me in the game while I do my best to actually complete missions. I did find a way to get even with him however. We were in one section called The Dust, running around a junkyard, when I say, "Oh, I found something neat here the other day. Hop in the car crusher." He responds with, "No, you'll just pull the lever and kill me." "Come on, just hop in there – there's something in there you really want." (he's an obsessive vault symbol hunter, trophy collector, etc.) He answers, "Well why don't you jump in there and show me what it is?" I sigh and say, "Fine, ya big baby," and hop in. He, of course, immediately pulls the lever that activates the crusher, killing me instantly. I respawn laughing and say, "Thanks! You just got me a trophy!" For those of you who haven't played BL2, there's a trophy for getting killed by a friend in the car crusher. You can't get it by crushing yourself, either, and I refused to crush him, saying, "You didn't believe me the first time, so why should I?" The best part? I got my revenge by doing nothing other than relying on what he normally does to me.
-Jeff S.

One day during summer, I decided to move my PS3 down to my living room to play on a big 52' flat screen TV. While playing Infamous 2 on the Villain track, an explosion happened rumbling my controller. At the exact same time of the in-game explosion, a earthquake happened rumbling my entire house. I thought the game had amazing realistic graphics.
-Carlos

I'm a huge Skyrim fan (a little late to the bandwagon) and recently, disaster struck. I was playing on my secondary account but then when I went to save after about an hour, I accidentally saved over my primary account. What made me mad wasn't losing all my Daedric artifacts, losing my wife and two kids, losing my dragon priest masks or losing my vampire lord perks – it was losing my favorite companion, J'zargo.

Goodnight, sweet Khajit prince – you are in a better place now.
-Ulisse

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #2

June 1, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I weave chain mail. -Rob

I work a temp job in a dank, gray cubicle for eight hours a day without much supervision. The day really drags along. Last night I made all of the Kanto gym badges out of cardboard. Today at work, I rewarded myself with a badge for every hour I was productive.-Mike

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people refer to the "Forest Moon of Endor," as just "Endor."-Jeff

When I first started playing WoW, it was around Halloween. We were heading to a costume party that night and my girlfriend walked in looking all hot, wearing pig tails and rocking a Catholic school girl outfit. She started getting frisky and tried to get me to stop playing. I ALMOST stopped playing WoW to go have sex with her.-John

During elementary school, on Dr.Seuss' birthday, our school told everyone to bring their favorite book to class to celebrate. I brought the Final Fantasy IX strategy guide.-Jacob

Filed Under   pwn my life