Articles

(Page 105)

Article Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You?

By Andrew Bridgman and Tony Wilson / February 25, 2014

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

 

 

1. Which quiz best describes your personality?

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Quiz: Which Buzzfeed Quiz Are You

 

Filed Under   quiz   buzzfeed

Article Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay

By Andrew Bridgman / June 24, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay
So I have a license, but I do not own a car. For the past six years the only driving I've done has been from driving a big-ass work truck. Over the past few days, I have been playing Sleeping Dogs quite a bit. The game takes place in Hong Kong and, of course, the roads are opposite of American roads (you drive on the left side in the game). I have not driven the truck in a while and today was the first time I got to in months. I take a left and calmly keep the turn tight knowing that the left side of the road is my direction. Imagine my surprise when a car comes headlong at me and I swerve into the right side of the road remembering that I am not in Hong Kong.-KDL

So there is this local Pokémon tournament in my town that I wanted to enter myself in – but they were using SoulSilver and HeartGold, and all my Pokémon are in Platinum (over 300). I spent a whole night in SoulSilver catching 300 Pidgeys to trade into Platinum for my best Pokémon.

I ended up winning the tournament.-Anthony

I've been seeing this girl for some time now, and suddenly she starts showing more interest for my tattoo (I have the hearts from The legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening on my arm), like what game its from and so on… Well today I found out she had an ulterior motive with the information, and here is the result…-Esben

Pwn Up:
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #3

June 8, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I had no ride home from work one night. Instead of walking or calling someone, I went back inside and played The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass on my DS. For 15 hours. Until it was time to start my shift for the next day.-Ty

I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating site. She seemed geeky and cool, so I was honest when she asked what my pet peeve was. I said "Pi." She misunderstood. She thought I was talking about the dessert. I explained that we treat Pi like it's a rational number when it's an irrational number and thus shouldn't be used for practical calculations, and that it's bull crap anyway, because you can draw a circle with an evenly measured circumference, so using non-terminating, non-repeating Pi as part of a calculation is faulty. She didn't say anything for the rest of the date. -Jack

I punched my dad in the face for trying to make me stop playing FFVII in the middle of fighting Sephiroth.-Tom

My friend and I called the Nintendo help line to find out how to unlock the car race mini-game mode in Mario Party 5. They didn't know. We were furious.-Josh

I tugged it to the Danger Girl videogame more times then I can count.-David

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Resident Obstruction

August 25, 2010
  1. Leon

    Looks like we need to walk down this alleyway…Sh*t, it's blocked. There has to be a way around it.

  2. Claire

    But it's just an abandoned car and some trashcans, I'm sure we can climb over…

  3. Leon

    Dammit Claire! We don't have time! I found this letter that says there is a key hidden in the cemetery that will unlock the red door where we can find parts to the fire hydrant so we can put out the fire blocking city hall.

  4. Claire

    But seriously, this pile is made out of cardboard boxes. I guarantee that I can slip between those stacks.

  5. Leon

    It's too high to climb!

  6. Claire

    It's literally four feet high, and there's a ladder leaning against that wall.

  7. Leon

    Oh. I guess I didn't see that before.

  8. Claire

    You didn't see the twelve-foot ladder right in front of your face, but you were going to search a graveyard, at night, infested with zombies, to find a tiny key?

  9. Leon

    Well I guess when you put it like…

Filed Under   resident evil   conversations

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #2

June 1, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I weave chain mail. -Rob

I work a temp job in a dank, gray cubicle for eight hours a day without much supervision. The day really drags along. Last night I made all of the Kanto gym badges out of cardboard. Today at work, I rewarded myself with a badge for every hour I was productive.-Mike

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people refer to the "Forest Moon of Endor," as just "Endor."-Jeff

When I first started playing WoW, it was around Halloween. We were heading to a costume party that night and my girlfriend walked in looking all hot, wearing pig tails and rocking a Catholic school girl outfit. She started getting frisky and tried to get me to stop playing. I ALMOST stopped playing WoW to go have sex with her.-John

During elementary school, on Dr.Seuss' birthday, our school told everyone to bring their favorite book to class to celebrate. I brought the Final Fantasy IX strategy guide.-Jacob

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #19

September 28, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

The funniest thing I ever heard on Xbox live was while playing a MW1 match. I got into this game with a bunch of kids who were 12-14, all in the same clan and had all top prestige. I ended up playing well and was destroying them. After the match, one kid, I guess the leader, called me out to 1v1 him in a match. Considering I was already late to go out, I said I couldn't and he starting calling me out and what not. I then replied, "I'll 1v1 your mom, and he replied "Good, my mom is actually good at this game." Then in the background you hear "Mom, some kid wants to 1v1 you," the entire lobby just burst out in laughter, and the kid left.-Troy
Some dude on Modern Warfare 2, talking to another kid"So what I'm saying is, my threesome was with a solid 7, then maybe a 2. Does that mean I got with a single 9 or?"Other kid: "No man, you average it. So really you got with like a 4.5."-Justin
From a ten or eleven year old, during a Gears of War match"You're a douche-bag. You're a bag full of douches."-Dave
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn Up: Pwn Up Or Shut Up

By Andrew Bridgman / September 9, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Pwn Up Or Shut Up
I have a friend that I play co-op with in Borderlands 2; we have fun usually, but he finds it funny if he can somehow kill me in the game while I do my best to actually complete missions. I did find a way to get even with him however. We were in one section called The Dust, running around a junkyard, when I say, "Oh, I found something neat here the other day. Hop in the car crusher." He responds with, "No, you'll just pull the lever and kill me." "Come on, just hop in there – there's something in there you really want." (he's an obsessive vault symbol hunter, trophy collector, etc.) He answers, "Well why don't you jump in there and show me what it is?" I sigh and say, "Fine, ya big baby," and hop in. He, of course, immediately pulls the lever that activates the crusher, killing me instantly. I respawn laughing and say, "Thanks! You just got me a trophy!" For those of you who haven't played BL2, there's a trophy for getting killed by a friend in the car crusher. You can't get it by crushing yourself, either, and I refused to crush him, saying, "You didn't believe me the first time, so why should I?" The best part? I got my revenge by doing nothing other than relying on what he normally does to me.
-Jeff S.

One day during summer, I decided to move my PS3 down to my living room to play on a big 52' flat screen TV. While playing Infamous 2 on the Villain track, an explosion happened rumbling my controller. At the exact same time of the in-game explosion, a earthquake happened rumbling my entire house. I thought the game had amazing realistic graphics.
-Carlos

I'm a huge Skyrim fan (a little late to the bandwagon) and recently, disaster struck. I was playing on my secondary account but then when I went to save after about an hour, I accidentally saved over my primary account. What made me mad wasn't losing all my Daedric artifacts, losing my wife and two kids, losing my dragon priest masks or losing my vampire lord perks – it was losing my favorite companion, J'zargo.

Goodnight, sweet Khajit prince – you are in a better place now.
-Ulisse

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Videogame Characters Made out of Bottle Caps

January 27, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article Pwn Up: Doom 2: H-E-Double Hockey Sticks On Earth

By Andrew Bridgman / November 30, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Doom 2: HEDouble Hockey Sticks On Earth - Image 1
When I was around 2-3 years old, my mom became obsessed with playing Super Mario Bros. 3 and I would sit with her and watch her for hours. Apparently one day, while my mom's best friend was babysitting me, I was watching her son play Super Mario Bros 3. After a while, my babysitter heard me yell, "Oh look! It's the f*cking ship!" When she told my mom what had happened my mom was shocked – apparently my mother got so involved in that game she forgot to watch her mouth around her young daughter. She never played that game again – instead, we moved onto Super Mario World.-Jen

I was messaging a girl when she said she needed help getting through the Lost Woods in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I told her the right directions, from memory. I never even had to memorize that path, because I just listened to the music.-Ben

I was visiting a school with a friend earlier this month – we were just standing around when a kid walked up to me and pointed to my GameBoy shirt and said "You could've bought a real DS with the same money you used to buy that DS Shirt". I was offended on a couple levels, but it didn't hit me until much later that he thought a t-shirt cost the same amount as a portable system. That probably should have been the first reaction.-Connor

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article 5 Reasons Why Katherine Dorselburg Is A Terrible Choice To Play Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3

By Andrew Bridgman / December 4, 2013

5 Reasons Why Katherine Dorselburg Is A Terrible Choice To Play Terrified Metropolis Citizen 3

Today, Zack Snyder announced he had finally cast the role of Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 for his upcoming film, Batman vs. Superman - and the actress portraying her is none other than Katherine Dorselburg. Naturally, the fan community is in an uproar over whether or not Ms. Dorselburg is right for the crucial role. Frankly, we here at Dorkly think she's an awful, awful choice, and here's why.

 

1. Way Too Skinny

5 Reasons Why Katherine Dorselburg Is A Terrible Choice To Play Terrified Metropolis Citizen 3

Everyone knows Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 is thin - but a lean, muscular thin, not the kind of bony thin that Katherine Dorselburg is and has been expected to be throughout her entire career in Hollywood up to this point and by society at large, which criticizes women for not looking dangerously underweight all the time. Plus, it's not like she can put on muscle through a training and diet regimen (the way all male actors in superhero and action films do) - since we've only seen her at one consistent body type, she definitely 100% is going to have that body type in playing her character, and it will be awful (because how she looks is obviously the most important factor in her portrayal).

Filed Under   movies   wonderwoman   dc   zack snyder