Articles

(Page 31)

Article Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay

By Andrew Bridgman / June 24, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Let Sleeping Dogs Lay
So I have a license, but I do not own a car. For the past six years the only driving I've done has been from driving a big-ass work truck. Over the past few days, I have been playing Sleeping Dogs quite a bit. The game takes place in Hong Kong and, of course, the roads are opposite of American roads (you drive on the left side in the game). I have not driven the truck in a while and today was the first time I got to in months. I take a left and calmly keep the turn tight knowing that the left side of the road is my direction. Imagine my surprise when a car comes headlong at me and I swerve into the right side of the road remembering that I am not in Hong Kong.-KDL

So there is this local Pokémon tournament in my town that I wanted to enter myself in – but they were using SoulSilver and HeartGold, and all my Pokémon are in Platinum (over 300). I spent a whole night in SoulSilver catching 300 Pidgeys to trade into Platinum for my best Pokémon.

I ended up winning the tournament.-Anthony

I've been seeing this girl for some time now, and suddenly she starts showing more interest for my tattoo (I have the hearts from The legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening on my arm), like what game its from and so on… Well today I found out she had an ulterior motive with the information, and here is the result…-Esben

Pwn Up:
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Best Cosplay in C2E2 History (Part 3)

By Staff / April 5, 2014

 The Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo (C2E2)  is upon us - the biggest entertainment convention in the Windy City means one thing: cosplay. C2E2 has been home to some of the best cosplays in recent history, and this year they'll be honoring the costumed geeks from across the country with the C2E2 Crown Championships of Cosplay, a competition awarding cash and prizes to the best cosplayers around.

C2E2 has been taking cosplay to the next level for years - and here's a taste of that.

 

The Weasleys

The Best Cosplay in C2E2 History Part 3

via Collider

Filed Under   fan art expo   c2e2   c2e2 weekends

Article The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 28, 2014

The 10 Worst Snow Levels in Videogame History

This winter has been pretty rough. Snow, ice and freezing rain are showing up in parts of the country that exclusively wear flip-flops. Life in the polar vortex has been like living in a videogame ice level. Sometimes it can be fun, sometimes a lot of fun, but too much can be a real drag. In recognition of the unusually crappy climate conditions, we've compiled a list of the most difficult and dreadful snow levels in gaming. Grab some hot cocoa and stay inside with some games that will make you feel like you're stuck outside.

 

10. Spelunky - Caves

 

Spelunky is great - but it's also the worst game ever made. Every level of this platforming roguelike is designed to murder you and make you feel like it was your fault. "Why'd you make me do that, baby? If you hadn't provoked that giant spider it wouldn't have scared you into impaling yourself on that spike pit." The third world, the Caves, is especially brutal. Fraught with tough jumps, landmines, wooly mammoths and laser-shooting aliens, traversing the Caves is made even harder by the icy-slick surfaces. Getting thrown into a bottomless pit by a yeti should be a sign about how you're spending your time, but it will only make you slap your back with a belt and try again.

Filed Under   snow   levels

Article 4 Other Things Penny Arcade Should Apologize For

By Andrew Bridgman / January 2, 2014

 4 Other Things Penny Arcade Should Apologize For You may have heard that Mike Krahulik (the artist behind the internet's eldest webcomic Penny Arcade and the IRL version of character Gabe) has had a year of offending people over numerous topics - recognition of transgendersthe appropriateness of rape joke merchandise, and other crummy behavior. Yesterday, he put out a blanket apology for his behavior, along with some insight into why he behaves the way he does sometimes, a promise to be better in the future, and an announcement that he plans on removing himself from PAX gradually.

And while this is a positive step in the right direction (we'll see how it actually shakes out), here are 4 more things Penny Arcade should apologize for.

 

1. Mike Krahulik Proposed To His Girlfriend Via Videogame Webcomic

A VERY Special Penny Arcade!

In February of 1997, Mike Krahulik (aka Gabe) proposed to his girlfriend via webcomic. While the words are very sweet and heartfelt and it seems like they have a lovely marriage and life together 14 years later - he proposed to her with a freaking jpeg. A TINY JPEG. WITH COMIC SANS FONT. It's hard to imagine any person on this Earth's dream is to be proposed via a webcomic posting featuring your webcomic alter-ego. Shouldn't he himself (Mike) have been proposing instead of the character Gabe? Pretty much the most romantic thing you should ever do with a webcomic is....Hm. Okay. I just spent 15 minutes thinking and came up blank. Lesson of the day: don't ever try to do a romantic gesture with a webcomic.

 

Filed Under   penny-arcade

Article Pwn Up: Enter the Faketrix

By Andrew Bridgman / June 17, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up:
12 year old me was pretty ignorant about technology (I had never seen the internet at that point). So when I got "Enter the Matrix" on PS2, I thought the hacking feature – the one used to unlock cheats – was real. I had almost no idea what a hacker was and the menu seemed pretty legitimate to me at the time. I simply thought the game gave me the option to go into the game's coding and modify it so that I could bend it to my will. The thing is, I was afraid to try it out for fear of ruining the game forever and making the game a waste of valuable money. One day, I caught my little brother messing around with the feature and I panicked. I ran up to him, screaming for him to stop, and yanked the controller out of his hand. I turned off the system and told him all the way's I'd make him pay if the game was messed up. After discovering that nothing was wrong, I sat him down and explained how serious hacking the game was and why he shouldn't mess with that feature of the game. It wasn't until about 3 years later that I learned how stupid of me it was to believe this.-Mario

When I was very young (about 5 years old) and living in Argentina, my parents were determined that I learn English. O never really liked the language, so learning was very difficult. But when I was 8, I started eagerly studying English. I told my parents it was because it would help if I ever traveled to the United States.

But in reality it was because I got just gotten an N64 and a copy of Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I got stuck before entering Hyrule Castle after the 1st dungeon, and I scouted the whole map trying to find the next thing to do.

At the time there were no internet walkthroughs or guides, and nobody here played N64. So I checked every sign in Hyrule and talked to every NPC I could find. Eventually I figured that if I learned English, I would be able to finish the game.

I did learn English and beat the game. I'm now a fluent speaker, all thanks to Link.-Agustin

My grandma always knew I loved to play videogames, and one day back around 2008 she told me to come over to her house because she bought something for me and my brother. I went over there not really knowing what to expect. When I got there she had a PS2 that she had bought so we could play games when we came over there to visit. I didn't have the heart to tell her that I was well into the next console generation. After that I made a point of digging up my old PS2 games just to give myself a reason to go over and visit her.-Cole B.

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The 10 Best Videogame Masks

By Andrew Bridgman / April 7, 2014

The 10 Best Videogame Masks

In the world of videogames, it doesn't need to be Halloween to put on a mask and go take candy from strangers (or whatever personal belongs you can find in the treasure chests they have lying around). Videogame masks come in all shapes and sizes and can do all sorts of things - from hiding someone's identity to LITERALLY BRINGING ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD. Also, sometimes they can make doors kill you.

Anyways, these are our top 10 masks in videogame history...

 

10. Handsome Jack's Mask (Borderlands 2)

The 10 Best Videogame Masks

Handsome Jack's mask is a pretty weird one - because, well, it's pretty much just his face. Or, rather, how his face is SUPPOSED to look, if not for the deformed Vault-style branded his actual face got. The mask says pretty much everything about the character of Handsome Jack - how self-obsessed he is, how vain he is, and how OUT OF HIS MIND he is. And since Handsome Jack is one of the best things about an already-great game, we gotta give the mask some credit.

 

9. Psycho Mantis Gas Mask (Metal Gear Solid)

The 10 Best Videogame Masks

Psycho Mantis - which, REMINDER, is just a cool-as-hell name - has a mask that serves basically no purpose (other than to hide the scars from when he burned down his childhood village). Mantis' reasoning for the mask is to block out the thoughts of others from his mind, since he's read enough minds to be generally repulsed by humanity in general. There's no real reason it has to be a gas mask - other than it looks really cool for this floating guy in a gas mask magically intuit what other Playstation games you've been playing. 

Filed Under   masks

Article Pwn Up: A Link to the North Pole

By Andrew Bridgman / June 10, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up:

Back in 2006, I was half asleep in my moms car listening to the radio, when they began a contest to win, at the time, the new Playstation 3. Having heard this, I jumped out of my seat and demanded my mom to call in. Fortunately I was one of the few people who actually made the call. A week later, they dropped it off at a Gamestop, where I was given a choice for any game I wanted. With strict parents, I couldn't choose any game with a gun in it (Resistance, Ratchet & Clank), so I had only one option: Sonic '06.

I did not touch my PS3 again for three years.

-Charlie

I remember buying the Metal Gear Solid HD Collection last year, and playing it all day. Later that day I realized I was out of snacks so I went to the supermarket, and when I arrived a cashier's cellphone started ringing. And his ringtone was the sound of a codec call. So what did I do? Without thinking I reached out my finger to press the select button (to answer the call). It took me about 10 seconds to understand why I couldn't answer it. That is how I found out that playing for 5 hours non-stop is bad for you.

-Gustavo

Saw this while driving home the other day. The license plate was "GNDLFWHT."

-Daniel

Pwn Up:

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Most Corrupt Cops in Videogame History

By Bob Mackey / May 31, 2013

Real life couldn't have created an enemy more terrifying than your standard police officer; after all, what other civil servant has the state-sanctioned power to murder us, both with military-grade weaponry and egregious parking fines? True, most of your garden variety cops spend their shifts hassling non-violent drug offenders and telling rude teens to stop skateboarding on things, but a small minority employs the power of the badge to abuse their authority with criminal intent. Thankfully, the medium of video games allows us to seek vengeance against those who've fallen over to the icky side of the thin blue line — a more gratifying fate than seeing the traditional crooked cop punishment of extended paid vacation.

(WARNING: Some pretty significant spoilers lie within)

10. Officer Frank Tenpenny (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)

The 10 Most Corrupt Cops in Videogame History

Since 1994's Pulp Fiction, the casting of Samuel L. Jackson in any role serves as a sort of shorthand for the audience, as if to say "this expletive-shouting man may be dangerous and unstable." If he's on the protagonist's side, then victory's in the bag, and the creative vulgarities can fly freely without caution; unfortunately, the first five minutes Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas spell out the fact that Officer Frank Tenpenny is a very, very bad man. His behind-the-scenes string-pulling gives our hero CJ the mass-murderer status demanded by every Grand Theft Auto installment to date, and Tenpenny's own crimes eventually lead to a full-scale riot the aging hardware of the PlayStation 2 did its best to simulate. Close to ten years later, and Grand Theft Auto as a whole has yet to come up with a more enigmatic villain — or at least one voiced by a guy with some clearly defined snake boundaries.

Filed Under   police   the dorklyst   cops

Article The Homeowner Who Lived a Real Life "Up"

By Staff / March 14, 2014

If you've seen Up, you know that it's a majestic story about how you cry like crazy during the first 10 minutes and then other stuff happens for a couple hours, but you can barely really see it through the constant stream of tears pouring out of your eyes. Also, there's a guy who refuses to sell his property to a big developer.

But this (incredibly sad) fictional dilemma is based on a real one - the story of Edith Macefield, who famously turned down a million dollar offer for her home by a property developer, who went ahead to build around her tiny farmhouse.

The Homeowner Whos Living a Real Life Up

via beaverbrown55

And even though Edith died in 2008 (at the age of 86), her house remained. Disney affixed some balloons to it in 2009 as a promotion of Up.

Incredibly, the house still stands there. You can even view it on Google StreetView.

Now think about the first 10 minutes of Up and bawl your eyes out.

Filed Under   irl   pixar   up   internerd

Article Pwn Up: Vidjagames University

By Jake Young / October 28, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Vidjagames University  

 

When I was in my late teens I started looking for a college to attend. At one particular college, I got to preview it overnight - which just so happened to be around when Halo 2 came out. Throughout the day we were supposed to go see what classes were like, tour the campus, and sit through seminars. Instead, I played Halo 2 in an abandoned classroom with some students and ditched the program. I ended up going to that school after all. I like to think it was Halo 2's doing.

-Loren

 

I'm an assistant teacher (or at least I think that's a similar term for what I do) at the University of Buenos Aires, here in Argentina.

Since I have to write up the practical exams, I usually try to include some gaming references in them. For example, in this semester's exam, the test was about a company named "Abstergo", whose founder was "Augusto Desmond" and they have to choose between a system called "Renaissance" offered by a company by the name of "Ezio" and a system called "Eagle", offered by "Altair".

 Even though the references are pretty obvious, I've received no comments from the students so far. How disappointing. Students should play more videogames.

 -Gustavo

 

Filed Under   college   pwn my life   pwn up