Articles

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Article The Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay On the Internet

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Rocksteady, April O'Neil, and Bebop

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via Cardboardtube Knight

 

Krang

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via The RPF

Article 10 Important Characters In Nintendo's History That Probably Won't Be In the New Smash Bros.

By Andrew Bridgman / July 26, 2013
10 Important Characters In Nintendos History That Probably Wont Be In the New Smash Bros

The Smash Bros. series is Nintendo's attempt at giving itself a big pat on the back – the games are filled with Nintendo history, from the stages to the trophies in the game. But the stuff Nintendo wants you to pay attention to is the playable characters, which have ranged from R.O.B. to Mr. Game and Watch to Ness (who has now appeared in more Smash Bros. games than games of his own). Yet there are hugely important things from Nintendo's past that they'll probably never allow as characters in the new Smash Bros. games – here are 10 of them.

10. Anyone From the Super Mario Bros. Movie

10 Important Characters In Nintendo History That Probably Wont Be In the New Smash Bros Games

Nintendo's sole attempt at trying to squeeze its way into Hollywood is one they would like to forget – besides being an enormous box office failure, it did some real weird things with the Super Mario brand, including changing Goombas from little walking mushrooms into hulking reptiles with tiny heads, making Bowser look a lot like Dennis Hopper, and – their most unforgiving sin – having Luigi not have a mustache. So what are the odds we'd see anyone from the Super Mario Bros. movie in a new Smash Bros.? About as likely as the cast reuniting for a sequel that turns out to be Bob Hoskins' dream about fighting a frog named Wart.

Filed Under   smash bros   nintendo   the dorklyst

Article Recipes For a Delicious Thanksgiving Dinner (In Different Videogame Worlds)

By Peter Rubens / November 28, 2013

Castlevania

Recipes For a Delicious Thanksgiving Dinner In Different Videogame Worlds

Filed Under   food   recipes   castlevania   final fight   skyrim   thanksgiving

Article EA's Press Release Announcing They've Secured the Star Wars License

By Andrew Bridgman / May 6, 2013

EAs Press Release Upon Securing the Star Wars License - Image 1

Filed Under   star wars   EA

Article Pwn Up: Monsters in my Pocket

By Jake Young / November 4, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

   Pwn Up: Monsters in my Pocket  

 When I turned 12 I wanted a dog really badly but my family didn't have much money so for my birthday I got the next best thing: a Tamagotchi. I wasn't so thrilled at first, but after a couple of poop cleaning cycles I started to grow attached to it. I even asked my parents to come back early from our holidays because I had forgotten Dick (yes, that was the name of my egg shaped, monochrome pixel-made friend) in one of my drawers. 

After that episode I took him everywhere with me, obsessively checking his status every 5 minutes to check he was okay. I even went as far as to take him to school with me every morning, even though it wasn't allowed. I kept him hidden and was able to bypass my teachers' attention for a good couple of months, until...

One afternoon, after school, I was waiting for the bus with a friend when suddenly 3 kids about our age jumped us out of nowhere. They had blades and we had no experience fighting so we didn't put up any resistance. I gave them my bag while firmly holding Dick hidden in my pocket.

They seemed appeased by the contents of my bag, all except for one kid who kept looking at me with curiosity. He eventually told his friends I had something hidden in my pocket and forced me to show it to them. I resisted and took one hell of a beating before they snatched Dick out of my clenched fist. They looked at him, didn't know what it was, laughed and threw him to the street. I watched in shock how a pickup truck turned my friend into dust.

My friend helped me get up, but I wouldn't have it. I walked back home alone, bruised and dirty, crying the whole time. I felt responsible, as if I had betrayed and lost a friend.

When I finally got a dog the next year, I took care of him like he was the most important living thing in this world. To this day we remain best friends, even in his final years. His name is Dick.

 

-Gabriel

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Letter from the Regular Potion in Your Item Bag

By Jake Young / January 16, 2014

Filed Under   pokemon   potion   letter   item

Article Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

By Andrew Bridgman / November 6, 2013

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

Internet, you've done it again - after over 2.6 million votes (and a lot of unfortunately pointless support for Shuckle and Dunsparce), you ranked all of the 100 Generation 2 Pokemon. And things got a little more surprising than the 1st generation voting, with two Pokemon from the same evolutionary chain making the top 15, every Legendary making it, and Smoochum placing dead last (oh wait, that one isn't surprising at all). So here they are - here are the top 15 Generation 2 Pokemon.

 

15. Steelix

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation II Pokemon

What's the only thing more terrifying-looking than an enormous snake monster made of rocks? An enormous snake monster made of metal (it makes the "hard as steel snake monster" sexual innuendos work so much better than the "rock hard" ones too). And this floating sexual innuendo is one of the best Pokemon in the Gold/Silver generation - and (in a dream world where Pokemon were real) would likely be the most nightmare-inducing Pokemon ever.

Filed Under   pokemon   results

Article Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation VI Pokemon

By Andrew Bridgman / December 4, 2013

  Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation VI Pokemon

After 1.5 million votes, the results are in for the best Pokemon from X & Y - a generation that's not even two months old. And the top 15 from Generation 6 is one of the strongest line-ups we've seen yet - and this is from a game with the smallest number of new Pokemon added yet. This was a generation of quality over quantity, and it showed. To help illustrate why each of the Pokemon that made the cut were so popular, we've included a comment from the voting or an email we received. 

So here are the (reminder to the Church of Goomy: these results are according to voters, not ME) greatest 15 Pokemon from Generation 6.

 

15. Goodra

Toplist Results: The 15 Greatest Generation VI Pokemon

The glory of lord Goomy is undeniable.
Plus Goodra evolves from it, and Goodra's pretty good. (Sam Jones)

While the mysteriously popular / completely-understandably popular mini-blob Goomy couldn't quite make the top 15 (despite a concerted effort), it's evolved form - the slightly-drippy dragon Goodra - did. And for a friendly slime dragon (and for people who grew up watching a lot of Double Dare, that is a very appealing description), Goodra holds his own pretty well, although I'm guessing everyone in the comments will still prefer its weaker, appendage-less younger self.

Filed Under   pokemon   results   pokemon x   pokemon y

Article 7 More Reasons Phil Fish Canceled Fez 2

By Andrew Bridgman / July 30, 2013

This weekend, Phil Fish – the creator of Fez and head of Polytron – announced that Fez 2 was canceled. This came in the wake of a (mostly) Twitter-based feud with GameTrailers.com's Marcus Beer, who launched some personal attacks on Fish (and Braid designer Jonathon Blow) over their opinions (or lack thereof) on the Xbox One's recent indie game self-publishing announcement. But the feud wasn't the only thing that led Phil Fish to cancel Fez 2…

Filed Under   fez   phil fish   fez 2

Article These Dead Videogame Characters Are FABULOUS!

By Staff / March 14, 2014

Here's the scenario: you're a rebel militia ultranationalist terrorist, trapped in an arena with other RMUTs, and the one with the highest kill count at the end wins. Odds are you're gonna get killed A LOT. So - you might as well leave a FABULOUS corpse. Die in style or don't die at all.

 

Fabulous

via RoadRAEG

Filed Under   internerd   fabulous