Articles

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Article The NSA Infiltrates CounterStrike

By Andrew Bridgman / December 11, 2013
It was recently revealed through leaked documents that the embattled NSA were not merely running surveillance on internet and phone conversations, but also online gameplay communications (such as in the arenas of World of Warcraft, Second Life, and more). While this cost the organization a great deal in resources and time, ultimately no meaningful counter-terrorism intelligence was gleaned from the effort...EXCEPT THIS ONE.

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Filed Under   counterstrike   nsa   terrorism

Article A Guide To Understanding New Pokemon Games (For People Who Haven't Played Since the Original Games)

By Andrew Bridgman / October 14, 2013
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Filed Under   pokemon   pokemon x   pokemon y

Article The 10 Most Friendship-Ruining Games of All-Time

By Staff / August 16, 2013

After nearly 200,000 votes (and lots and lots of comments about Dokapon Kingdom, which we owe an honorary shout-out to), you've decided the top 10 games that tore apart friendships like tissue paper. While some games incredibly did not make the cut, there's no denying that the games that did make it were built to test the limits of good sportsmanship and test relationships in ways that would make Erik Lehnsherr and Charles Xavier piss their pants. Somehow I think those two would have split apart a lot sooner if they had to play Portal 2's co-op mode together.

10. Marvel vs. Capcom (series)

Well, it makes sense that if the worlds of Marvel and Capcom can't get along, why should you and your friends be able to? While the series pits the two universes against each other, they usually come together in the end to defeat some big bad (and totally cheap) mega-villain. Too bad the same couldn't be said for the friendships that were torn asunder by this game, such as when Darren was button-mashing and picking Cable LIKE A COWARD.

Filed Under   Friends   toplists

Article Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles "Ruined" the Franchise

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

  Pretty Much Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined the Franchise

If you've been on the internet lately, odds are a few people were complaining about the latest incarnation of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - now brought to you by professional childhood-ruiner Michael Bay. It's your typical fare for a Michael Bay movie (note that he's only producing it) - lots of destruction, military presence, Megan Fox, the words "Michael Bay" appearing on screen sending a shudder down your spine, etc. It looks pretty dumb - but here's the catch: TMNT has ALWAYS been dumb. And dumb in a way that's meant to appeal to whatever generation of kids it's aiming for. This new version isn't ruining your childhood any more than pretty much every single previous version of TMNT. Let's take a look back...

 

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003)

After a long absence from the world of animation, TMNT returned in 2003. It was an attempt to bridge the gap between the original animated series and the comics that started it all - there were less terrible puns, more attempts at character development, and less goofy slapstick music.

Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: After a few seasons, the show was completely retooled multiple times - one involving the turtles training to learn a bunch of mystical abilities in order to defeat some alternate version of Shredder, another that sent them 100 years into the future, and another that sent them back to the present day to battle a cybernetic version of Shredder. By the end, it was a mess of unintelligible abandoned plotlines and directionless virtual reality action. Also, the opening song was REALLY bad.



Ninja Turtles: The Next Mutation (1997)

Finally - a TMNT show that uses the creepy actors-covered-in-rubber aesthetic of the original films! This was a dream come true for kids everywhere who rushed home after school because organized sports was a terrifying prospect.

Why It "Ruined" TMNT: The big hook for The Next Mutation was the addition of a new turtle character - a sister for the core group, named Venus de Milo. Really, the group could totally stand to have another female voice beyond yellow-jumpsuit wearing reporters. Unfortunately, Venus de Milo looked like this:

  Every Version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Ruined Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Yep. They straight up added turtle boobs, which is extremely creepy-looking. You know what the difference between male turtles and female turtles is? Hint: it's not human-esque shell-breasts (it has to do more with the position of the cloaca and the concavity of the shell). Venus was so poorly received that Peter Laird (co-creator of TMNT) will not allow her to ever be mentioned in TMNT again.

However, in the world of erotic fan art, Peter Laird has no power, and GOOD LUCK searching for TMNT stuff in Google Images without running into some seriously upsetting Venus de Milo pictures.

Article 30 Incredible Calvin and Hobbes Mashups

By Chloe Cole / January 6, 2014
30 Amazing Calvin and Hobbes Mashups

Article 40 Badass Reinterpretations of Mario Characters

By Andrew Bridgman / September 27, 2013
Badass Reinterpretations of Mario Characters

Filed Under   mario   internerd

Article Anthony Hopkins' Fan Letter to 'Attack On Titan'

By Andrew Bridgman / October 15, 2013

You may have seen that Anthony Hopkins supposedly authored a fan letter to the cast of AMC's Breaking Bad, revealing himself to have marathoned the entire series and as giddy to share as the rest of the internet. But this was not his first fan letter. Here was the fan letter he wrote to Hajime Isayama, creator of the popular anime series Attack on Titan.

 

Filed Under   attack on titan   anthony hopkins

Article How Mountain Dew Cheetos Became a Reality

By Andrew Bridgman / January 6, 2014

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Mountain Dew Cheetos is a thing. No, this is not a joke: MOUNTAIN DEW CHEETOS IS NOW OFFICIALLY A THING. How did it come to this, you ask? We've got the transcript right here...

 

  1. Executive 1

    You know what? Fuck it. Mountain Dew Cheetos. BOOM.

  2. Executive 2

    Ha ha, very funny, Jerry. Now back to business -

  3. Executive 1

    No, I'm dead serious. Mountain Dew Cheetos. Cheetos that taste like that radioactive-green, vaguely-citrus slime.

  4. Executive 2

    That's insane, Jerry. We're trying to sell food to people products, not parody them.

  5. Executive 1

    I'm sick of it. Why are we beating around the bush here? These people want powder-y, sodium-packed snacks and a soda that's too fucking lazy to spell "Mountain." Let's save everyone a step and just mash 'em together.

  6. Executive 2

    That's going too far, Jerry. I didn't say anything when we made those Doritos tacos, but I gotta put my foot down here. I mean, what would it even taste like?

  7. Executive 1

    I'll tell you what it'll taste like...

 

Filed Under   conversations   mountain dew   cheetos

Article Definitive PROOF That Flappy Bird Is Stolen!

By Andrew Bridgman / February 8, 2014

Over the past week or so, the app Flappy Bird has exploded in popularity. It's practically all anyone talks about (when they're not tapping Flappy the Flappy Bird between the pipes of the Fushroom Kingdom that is!). But what if we told you that much of the game's art assets and gameplay were stolen?

See if you can spot what was stolen:

Definitive PROOF That Flappy Bird Is Stolen

Filed Under   flappy bird

Article The Greatest Simpsons Mashups on the Internet

By Chloe Cole / February 7, 2014

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With 25 seasons under its belt, The Simpsons is the longest-running animated TV series on U.S. television. The means that fans have had more than enough to do some awesome mashups. Here are some of the best Simpsons mashups the internet has to offer. Enjoy!

 

TV Mashups

Movie Mashups

Video Game Mashups

Filed Under   the simpsons   mashups   fanart   internerd