Articles

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Article Hideo Kojima Explains The Controversial New Metal Gear Solid Character

By Andrew Bridgman / September 6, 2013

Since the character of Quiet (pictured above), a mute sniper who will assist you in Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, was revealed, there has been controversy over her sexualized depiction: despite being a sniper in Afghanistan, Quiet wears little more than a skimpy bikini top and torn fishnet stockings. Hideo Kojima, creator and lead developer of the Metal Gear Solid series, addressed the controversy today on Twitter.

But what IS this "secret reason" that will make us feel "ashamed of [our] words & deeds"? No one is quite certain yet except Hideo Kojima. Thankfully, Mr. Kojima sent this response to our queries, which helps clarify a few things.

Article Well, These Videogame Consoles All Look Legit

By Staff / April 17, 2014

Step 1: Pick the worst movie of the year

Step 2: Forget how to spell "Batman"

Step 3: Re-evaluate your life choices

 

Well, These Videogame Products All Look Legit

 

via Technabob

 

 

 

If you're gonna knock off a console, maybe at least choose one of the successful ones.

 

Well, These Videogame Products All Look Legit

 

via My Treamcast

 

Filed Under   fake   internerd

Article What 'Game of Thrones' Actors Looked Like In Their Younger Days

By Staff / April 14, 2014

 

Young Tywin Lannister (in Pascali's Island)

Game of Thrones Actors In the Wayback Machine

Yep, that's Lannister patriarch Charles Dance - in total young stud mode - hanging out with young Helen Mirren. Old people! They used to be young!

 

Young Ned Stark (in The Bill)

Game of Thrones Actors In the Wayback Machine  

Old age is coming.

 

Article The Top 10 Games of the Year

By Andrew Bridgman / December 27, 2013

 The Top 10 Games of the Year

2013 was an incredible year for games - but which ones were the best of the best? Our dedicated staff have played ALL of the games - and we've narrowed down this year's huge array of games down to 10. We'll tell you what we loved about each one, what we didn't like, and how each one ranks overall. Ladies and gentlemen - these are the top 10 games of the year...

Filed Under   games   best of   2013

Article How To Purchase 'Bravely Default' (As a Socially-Awkward Adult)

By Andrew Bridgman / February 14, 2014

Are you a socially-anxious, overly-neurotic, deeply self-critical individual? If you are, you occasionally run into potentially embarrassing situations that you overthink even though they're likely completely irrelevant and you have no reason to be embarrassed. One of these situations might be buying a videogame with a weird cover. Like, oh I dunno, Bravely Default.

 

How To Purchase A Game With An Embarrassing Cover

 

The game looked great (and it IS great) - but the problem is, I really, REALLY didn't want to go to an employee at Best Buy or GameStop and buy a game that featured some kind of creepy "sexy teenage butterfly." This is not a "cool thing" for a grown adult to be buying in a public setting. However, I wanted a physical copy AND I wanted it immediately, so that took downloading and Amazon off the table.

 

Luckily, this gave me an excuse to come up with different methods for getting the game, embarrassment-free!

 


 

 

1. Pretend You're An Exasperated, Confused Parent

  How To Purchase A Game With An Embarrassing Cover

Go To Line: "I'm looking for a game my son wanted. Bravery My Fault or something? For the 3D Gameboy?"

Filed Under   guide   bravely default

Article 8 Videogame "SOON" Moments

By Jared Bronen / August 30, 2013

"I'll make you proud, dad. I'll make you so proud."

Filed Under   zelda   pokemon   katamari damacy   soon

Article 8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

By Andrew Bridgman / July 16, 2013
8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

There's always a lot of grumbling whenever a new generation of Pokemon games come out – primarily that Nintendo is scraping the bottom of the PokeWell and coming out with ridiculously stupid designs for Pokemon, like ice cream cones and ghost swords. But the truth is that Nintendo has always included incredibly dumb Pokemon designs (with some even dumber names), ever since the very beginning. Here are 8 first generation Pokemon that are dumber than anything that came after.

8. Porygon

8 First Generation Pokemon Dumber Than Anything That Came After

Pitch: "Hey, you know what's crazy? Computers. What about a computer program Pokemon? Yeah, sure it can exist in the real world, even though it's explicitly made of virtual polygons."

Porygon's an incredibly dumb idea for a Pokemon. It's literally made of programming code, but it somehow interacts with the physical world. In other words, it makes no sense at all and Nintendo just thought it would be neat to have some kind of Pokemon to take advantage of the "computer" fad that was sweeping the world.

How Lazy Is The Name: It's like Polygon, but we replaced the L with an R for some reason. Possibly to sound like an incredibly racist impression of a Japanese person? We can only hope.

Filed Under   pokemon

Article Opinion: Why Ben Affleck Is a Terrible Choice For Batman

By The Internet / August 27, 2013
Opinion: Ben Affleck Is Going To Be A Terrible Batman

Let's get one thing straight: Ben Affleck is fine. I liked Argo, I liked The Town, and I really liked Gone Baby Gone. He's got a number of underrated performances, like Changing Lanes and Shakespeare in Love. And, yeah, he's got a couple Oscars.

But he's not Batman.

Will he be able to bring the appropriate gravitas to the story of a billionaire who dresses up like a bat and pretends to have a gravelly-voice and uses magic green rocks to punch an alien in the face? I don't know that he does. It requires a seasoned actor that is universally-respected, like Christian Bale (best known for being the bad guy in the Shaft remake).

Let's look at what is arguably the best Batman film, The Dark Knight. Obviously, the most compelling and interesting character in that film is Batman. His arc could only be played by the highest-caliber actor: At the beginning of the film, Batman has not punched anyone or yelled at anyone in a stupid voice, but by the end, he has punched a bunch of people and yelled all kinds of things with a stupid voice. Sure, all the heady and emotional arcs are given to the Joker and Harvey Dent, but Batman ends the film by thinking a girl liked him when she actually liked someone else. Also, he deduced the Joker's location by using magic cell phone GPS mapping. He's not called 'The World's Greatest Detective' for nothing, folks.

Oh! And he takes the fall for the actions of Harvey Dent/Two-Face so that Dent can remain a symbol of hope for Gotham, since there's literally no other character in the film who could possibly be responsible for so many mob deaths. Well, I guess the Joker might have worked, since he had already killed a bunch of mob people, and a whole bunch of other people on top of that, and absolutely no one would believe him if he claimed he was innocent of those crimes and that Harvey Dent actually did them all. But…then we wouldn't have gotten that 'hero we deserve'/'hero we need' speech at the end, which was pretty cool.

Remember: Ben Affleck was in Gigli.

The actor playing Batman is always the most important thing in deciding how good that film will be. I mean, who do we blame Batman & Robin on? Obviously it's only George Clooney's fault. Did Joel Schumacher have anything to do with the movie being awful? No, it is only George Clooney's fault. That's why our concern should be about Ben Affleck and not Zack Snyder or the script by David Goyer (writer of Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance and co-creator of FlashForward). Ben Affleck is the only factor that matters here.

What it all comes down to though is the fact that we need to get unreasonably upset about this before a single frame of has been filmed. We need to not give them a chance at all, since actors (like Ben Affleck) have never subverted the internet's expectations. Remember how upset the internet was when freakin' Heath Ledger was cast as the Joker? And we were right to be so upset (barring that Oscar he won for his universally-praised portrayal of the Clown Prince of Crime).

So let's do it again, internet. Let's show them how right we always are when we get mad about superhero movies.

Filed Under   batman   ben affleck

Article 6 Incredible-Looking Fake Legend of Zelda Games

By Staff / July 19, 2013

A post-apocalyptic, parallel universe Zelda tale – perfect for any fan of The Last of Us who never wants to hear the protagonist speak for some reason.

Filed Under   zelda   internerd

Article Flowchart: Should You Buy This Single-Issue Comic?

By Nat Towsen / January 22, 2014
Flowchart: Should You Buy This Single Issue Comic

Filed Under   comics   comic books   flowchart