Articles

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Article The Animal Crossing Villager Is Your Worst Nightmare

By Staff / June 14, 2013

At their Nintendo Direct conference at E3, Nintendo made a few announcements about Mario, Donkey Kong, and a number of other franchises. But none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that the Animal Crossing Villager will be a playable character in the newest Smash Bros. games. But there's something unsettling about his smiling, always content face that never changes, even as he's beating other mascots mercilessly…

All of his letters to his neighbors are written in the blood of his victims.

Article If Wii U Games Were Honest

By Andrew Bridgman / June 19, 2013

Filed Under   wii u   honest

Article 7 Things That Still Bother Me About Fallout: New Vegas

By Andrew Bridgman / December 13, 2013

1. The Kings Have No Elvis Music

 

  7 Things That Still Bother Me About Fallout: New Vegas

Listen, I get it: the rights to Elvis' catalogue are expensive. Hell, even a single Elvis tune will run you a pretty penny (actually several million pennies) - pennies that the team at Obsidian couldn't afford. The problem was that Elvis is a huge fixture in the Las Vegas we know today, and is appropriately still being remembered in the far off videogame future depicted in New Vegas through a gang that all dress and speak like Elvis - The Kings. The weird thing is, you never hear any of Elvis' iconic music at any point in the game. Maybe it would have been worth the cash they'd have to dole out so that I wouldn't have to listen to "Johnny Guitar" another goddamn time when hanging out with Elvis impersonators.

Filed Under   fallout   new vegas

Article The 14 Best Reactions to Surprise Christmas Consoles

By Chloe Cole / December 25, 2013

 

Jack Jingles is the best.

 

Everyone in the family seems pretty confused by the concept of happy tears

Filed Under   kids   christmas   internerd   unwrapping   presents

Article Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of All-Time

By Andrew Bridgman / December 13, 2013

  Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of AllTime

After over 900,000 votes, we're narrowed down the Mortal Kombat series to the top 20 kharacters (extremely subtle reference). Did your favorite differently-colored-vest ninja make it? How about your lady-wearing-virtually-no-clothes of choice? Your personal top stupidly-difficult-and-frustrating boss battle? You won't have to wonder long, because the results are below. And don't forget to test your might by complaining how wrong everyone was not to vote for your favorites in the comments.

 

20. Mileena

Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of AllTime

Why should dudes have all the fun? While Mortal Kombat is often derided (mayyybe rightfully) for having a bunch of dude ninjas that are virtually identical-looking (give or take a few color switches), people often forget that Mortal Kombat II introduced the feminine equivalent with Mileena, Kitana, and Jade. One of the most memorable amongst these three ridiculously skimpily-dressed ladies was Mileena, perhaps best remembered for a) being ridiculously skimpily-dressed (although she started out pretty modest compare to her current design) and b) hiding a messed-up demonic mouth under her bandana (much like Bret Michaels). But on top of that, Mileena was just a ridiculously solid fighter from MKII on, since she's really motivated to win the tournament and use her winnings to get some dental work done (or take over the Earthrealm, whatever).

Filed Under   mortal kombat   results   characters

Article Twitch Plays Pokemon Has Killed Lord Helix!

By Andrew Bridgman / March 15, 2014

 In the world of Twitch Plays Pokemon, no one is safe - not even gods. For on Saturday, March 15th, the players of Pokemon Crystal defeated their ultimate foe: THEMSELVES...and also their god, Lord Helix.

Twitch Plays Pokemon Has Killed Lord Helix

via Jack Kaiser

In case you're not familiar (and judging by how Pokemon stuff tends to do on this site and on the internet as a whole, you probably are), after you defeat the Elite 4 and your rival and become the Pokemon League champion of Johto, the original Pokemon region of Kanto opens to you, where you will need to defeat the gym leaders and get another 8 badges. And once that's complete, you travel to Mt. Silver and face off against Red - the hero of Pokemon Red/Blue.

Twitch Plays Pokemon Has Killed Lord Helix

via VerbumDei

The team held by AJ (the nickname for Twitch Plays Pokemon Crystal's protagonist) was Solid Snake (Steelix), Ace (Raticate), Katie (Dragonite), Burrito (Espeon), LazorGator (Feraligatr), and Brian (Pidgeot).

Normally Red's team consists of Pikachu, Espeon, Snorlax, Venusaur, Charizard, and Blastoise. But the emulators of Twitch Plays Pokemon decided to keep the canon of their own playthrough, and replaced Red's normal team with Bird Jesus (Pidgeot), Battery Jesus (Zapdos), All Terrain Venomoth (Venomoth), The Fresh Prince of Bel Air (Lapras), King Fonz (Nidoking), and Lord Helix (Omastar).

THE SAME TEAM THAT ENDED THE ORIGINAL TWITCH PLAYS POKEMON RUN.

Article 20 More of the Worst Videogame Covers of All-Time

By Andrew Bridgman / August 23, 2013

Cover art – it's the first thing potential customers see of a game. Before the internet, covers could make or break a game, given it was a lot harder to find info on any given game. So it's always a little baffling when a company puts out a game with an awful, poorly-made, ill-conceived cover. Yet they still did it, over and over and over again. Here are 20 more of the worst videogame covers of all-time.

(Note: see the first 20 here, and our coverage of the Mega Man franchise here)

Russell Grant's Astrology

What's Wrong With It: Let's get one thing out of the way: I have no idea who Russell Grant is, and I refuse to take the 3 seconds it would require to Google him. I don't really feel like I need to know, because any game about astrology starring the failed attempt to combine John Goodman and Chris Farley's genes through cloning is probably going to be a terrible game, and nothing about this cover seems like it would appeal to anyone (with the possible exception of people who have an incredibly specific fetish about John Goodman and Chris Farley laughing at you).

Filed Under   Terrible   covers

Article The Complete Guide To Doctor Who: Everything You Need To Know To Prepare For 'The Day of the Doctor'

By Andrew Bridgman / November 14, 2013

   The Doctor Who Guide: Everything You Need To Know To Prepare For THE DAY OF THE DOCTOR

Doctor Who has a legacy amongst the geek community that few properties can match - an incredibly lengthy history, an enormously dedicated fanbase, and one of the most successful television shows of all-time. Still, there are some who simply aren't familiar with the series at all - and with such a complicated, far-reaching mythology, it can be a little daunting to know where to start. That's why we've put together a simple guide that will help you catch up with and understand Doctor Who in time for the upcoming special, The Day of the Doctor. Get ready to jump in - Geronimo!

Filed Under   doctor who   guide

Article If Game of Thrones Characters Were Pokemon Trainers

By Andrew Bridgman / September 4, 2013

Rayquaza, Reshiram, and Zekrom: These three dragon-type Pokemon represent Daenerys' three dragons – the green Rhaegal, the white Viserion, and the black Drogon.

Rapidash: The fiery horse Pokemon represents Khal Drogo, leader of the horselords of Essos, who trekked across the burnt desert with Daenerys as his Khaleesi.

Ursaring: The bear represents Ser Jorah Mormont, of Bear Island – Daenerys' bodyguard and advisor.

Hydreigon: The three-headed dragon-type Pokemon represents House Targaryen's sigil of a three-headed dragon. I know she already has three dragons in this, but c'mon, just go with it.

Filed Under   pokemon   game of thrones

Article What 'Game of Thrones' Actors Looked Like In Their Younger Days

By Staff / April 14, 2014

 

Young Tywin Lannister (in Pascali's Island)

Game of Thrones Actors In the Wayback Machine

Yep, that's Lannister patriarch Charles Dance - in total young stud mode - hanging out with young Helen Mirren. Old people! They used to be young!

 

Young Ned Stark (in The Bill)

Game of Thrones Actors In the Wayback Machine  

Old age is coming.