Articles

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Article Gamebook: Superman and Batman Team Up

By Andrew Bridgman / July 24, 2013

Filed Under   batman   gamebook   superman

Article Top 10 Gifts For The Nerd In Your Life

By Nat Towsen / December 17, 2013

Top 10 Gifts For The Nerd In Your Life

Nothing says "nerd" like having your nose buried in a book, so buy your nerdy friend one of these paper facemasks. It's hard to go wrong: there are so many books out there that even the biggest nerds haven't read all of them.

 

Top 10 Gifts For The Nerd In Your Life

Whether your friend is a comic book nerd or a film nerd, BluRay offers The Wolverine AND that movie that Harmony Korine made by living with a group of transient homeless vandals for a couple of weeks, both in gorgeous 1080p.

Filed Under   christmas   holidays   gifts

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Weirdest Evolutions in Pokémon

By Andrew Bridgman / April 19, 2013
The Dorklyst: The 10 Weirdest Evolutions in Pokmon - Image 11

The entire concept of having animals evolve into insanely-powerful beast monsters by beating the crap out of others in battle (or by being exposed to stones, being traded, etc.) is pretty ridiculous in and of itself. But it's not too difficult suspending your disbelief when the end result is a fire-breathing dragon who remains loyal to you (despite the fact you're forcing it to fight a bird who shoots lightning). But there are some specific evolutions that are extremely weird, even in the already-weird field of Pokemon evolutions. These are the 10 weirdest evolutions in Pokemon.

10. Cubone into Marowak

The Dorklyst: The 10 Weirdest Evolutions in Pokemon - Image 1

Cubone's life kinda sucks – he's so upset at the death of his mother (remember, this is an entire species of Pokemon, meaning they all are bereaved over the deaths of each of their individual mothers), that he literally wears her skull, which may not be the most emotionally-healthy coping tactic. Then again, in some deeply, deeply messed up way, his mother is still protecting poor little Cubone – since her skull now acts as his helmet. It's definitely indicative of some kind of creepy Norman Bates/Mother relationship, but it's mostly harmless.

Where it gets weird is when Cubone evolves into Marowak. Essentially, Marowak's just a bigger Cubone, which isn't all that weird. What is weird is that Marowak is defined by having gotten over the death of its mother (remember: AS A SPECIES, Marowaks have ALL gotten over the deaths of their individual mothers), but still wears a skull on its head. But it's specifically NOT its mother's! Meaning…Marowak found some random dead Pokemon's bigger skull and is wearing that now? Something tells me Marowak hasn't quite reached the closure it claims to have.

Filed Under   pokemon   the dorklyst   dorklyst

Article The Most Insane FCC Complaints Against 'South Park'

By Andrew Bridgman / March 18, 2014

FCC Complaints Against South Park That Will ENRAGE YOU

The website Government Attic regularly posts government files and documents it receives through the Freedom of Information Act. While most of these are extremely dry and boring, occasionally something truly magnificent will show up. For example - a document was posted that collected complaints made to the FCC about South Park, between 2004 and 2007. We've transcribed some of the best ones (and tried our best to maintain accurate portrayals of the grammar and spelling used by each):

 


 

Two boys well known to me asked me for sex (unspecified in nature); when I asked these boys why they were asking me for sex, they replied that the TV program "South Park" with the randy "Chef" told them to do it. These boys are 9 and 12. I am 63 and male.


 

I wish to voice my disgust with the "cartoon" Southpark that was aired on the evening of Wednesday, August 10, 2005. The episode depicted children "milking" a male dog. I cannot believe such filth is allowed to be aired.

 

Filed Under   television   TV   wtf   south park   fcc

Article Pwn Up: A Very Special Pwn Up (Love Edition)

By Andrew Bridgman / July 30, 2013

Every now and then, we get such a great and thorough story submitted to us, that we have absolutely no choice but to run it as its own very special edition of Pwn Up. This is one of those times.

This weekend I attended PAX Australia with my girlfriend. I may be the only Australian to have attended the very first PAX in 2004, and the expo holds a special place in my heart. I had also been looking for a good way to pop the question, so as soon as PAX Aust was announced, I began conjuring an elaborate plan. It began with giving my girlfriend a mysterious envelope several months ago, that she must keep with her at all times in case the time comes to open it…

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Animal Crossing Villager Is Your Worst Nightmare

By Staff / June 14, 2013

At their Nintendo Direct conference at E3, Nintendo made a few announcements about Mario, Donkey Kong, and a number of other franchises. But none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that the Animal Crossing Villager will be a playable character in the newest Smash Bros. games. But there's something unsettling about his smiling, always content face that never changes, even as he's beating other mascots mercilessly…

All of his letters to his neighbors are written in the blood of his victims.

Article The Best Archer Cosplay On the Internet

By Chloe Cole / January 13, 2014

Season 5 of Archer premieres this Monday at 10 pm. Before you all sploosh yourselves, check out these awesome Archer cosplays.

 

Best Archer Cosplay

Filed Under   cosplay   TV   the weekly irl   archer

Article 7 Things That Still Bother Me About Fallout: New Vegas

By Andrew Bridgman / December 13, 2013

1. The Kings Have No Elvis Music

 

  7 Things That Still Bother Me About Fallout: New Vegas

Listen, I get it: the rights to Elvis' catalogue are expensive. Hell, even a single Elvis tune will run you a pretty penny (actually several million pennies) - pennies that the team at Obsidian couldn't afford. The problem was that Elvis is a huge fixture in the Las Vegas we know today, and is appropriately still being remembered in the far off videogame future depicted in New Vegas through a gang that all dress and speak like Elvis - The Kings. The weird thing is, you never hear any of Elvis' iconic music at any point in the game. Maybe it would have been worth the cash they'd have to dole out so that I wouldn't have to listen to "Johnny Guitar" another goddamn time when hanging out with Elvis impersonators.

Filed Under   fallout   new vegas

Article The 14 Best Reactions to Surprise Christmas Consoles

By Chloe Cole / December 25, 2013

 

Jack Jingles is the best.

 

Everyone in the family seems pretty confused by the concept of happy tears

Filed Under   kids   christmas   internerd   unwrapping   presents

Article Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of All-Time

By Andrew Bridgman / December 13, 2013

  Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of AllTime

After over 900,000 votes, we're narrowed down the Mortal Kombat series to the top 20 kharacters (extremely subtle reference). Did your favorite differently-colored-vest ninja make it? How about your lady-wearing-virtually-no-clothes of choice? Your personal top stupidly-difficult-and-frustrating boss battle? You won't have to wonder long, because the results are below. And don't forget to test your might by complaining how wrong everyone was not to vote for your favorites in the comments.

 

20. Mileena

Toplist Results: The 20 Greatest Mortal Kombat Kharacters of AllTime

Why should dudes have all the fun? While Mortal Kombat is often derided (mayyybe rightfully) for having a bunch of dude ninjas that are virtually identical-looking (give or take a few color switches), people often forget that Mortal Kombat II introduced the feminine equivalent with Mileena, Kitana, and Jade. One of the most memorable amongst these three ridiculously skimpily-dressed ladies was Mileena, perhaps best remembered for a) being ridiculously skimpily-dressed (although she started out pretty modest compare to her current design) and b) hiding a messed-up demonic mouth under her bandana (much like Bret Michaels). But on top of that, Mileena was just a ridiculously solid fighter from MKII on, since she's really motivated to win the tournament and use her winnings to get some dental work done (or take over the Earthrealm, whatever).

Filed Under   mortal kombat   results   characters