Articles

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Article Stages of Grief (For Losing a Save File)

By Ryan Creamer / November 22, 2013

Denial

Stages of Grief For Losing a Save File

Whew. Finally some free time. But more specifically, Chrono Trigger time. Let's do this. Let's finally take down Lavos and restor.......uh. Hmmm. That's weird.

What's going on with the menu screen? The save file menu... Where's my name? Or my brother's? Or (the game's random previous owner) Dan's? ...Well, it couldn't have just disappeared. Save files don't just disappear - it's not like they're "my dad" or something. Maybe it's just a little dirty! Nothing that can be fixed with a little ol' fashioned mouth-to-game resuscitation!

Alright now it should be good. Ok, so far so good, that gold pendulum thing is rocking back and forth and the start screen looks normal and now I'll just press start reeeal delicately this time and -

Filed Under   chrono trigger   grief

Article 'Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.': Starring All Your Marvel Favorites!

By Andrew Bridgman / September 25, 2013

 Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. promises to be a fantastic new piece of the Marvel movie universe - it'll be like another Avengers film every single week! How they managed to pull this off on a TV budget, we'll never know. All we know is that we can't wait to see all kinds of Marvel heroes stop by every week! Here's a preview of some of the guest stars we're most excited for:

 

Iron Man

Agents of SHIELD: Starring All Your Marvel Favorites

 

Agents of SHIELD: Starring All Your Marvel Favorites

Filed Under   marvel   avengers   agents of shield

Article Pixar Announces THE INCREDIBLES 2 (andalsocars3)

By Andrew Bridgman / March 19, 2014
Pixar Announces THE INCREDIBLES 2 andalsocars3

Article The Depressing Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

By Andrew Bridgman / November 19, 2013

The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies 

 

The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

My entire existence is predicated upon the fact that I will one day explode. It is the reason I was created, and the reason I live - so that I will die, hopefully taking another's life with me. Unlike others, my being is made for killing, not living. I am nothing but a weapon - and not even a decent weapon, rarely able to do more than shrink my opponent. If I were to take my own life, I would be doing the world a great favor - for no one else would need to fear harm due to my presence.



The Inner Monologues of Mario Enemies

Not all who rest on clouds live in Heaven - I am a shining testament to this. As others shuffle below me, bound to the Earth, I fly above them in the skies - hurling my children to the ground which I so fear. Hurling my innocent, confused children towards an enemy who has given me no reason to hate him so. Watching in horror as my precious offspring walk into pits, as they have no reason to understand the dangers of the ground that they have found themselves upon. I am more executioner than father.

Filed Under   birdo   mario   lakitu   bob-omb   bullet bill   thwomp   dry bones

Article Well, Twitch Is Playing ANOTHER Pokemon Game

By Andrew Bridgman / March 2, 2014

Twitch Plays Pokemon: Gold Version

Those maniacs at Twitch Plays Pokemon - not content with their original experiment, which lasted about 400 consecutive hours - have begun a game of Pokemon Crystal. For people invested in this (which includes: people with the willpower and patience to actually participate in this, and exhausted internet writers who would like to not be doing this on a Sunday morning) this feels a little soon - it started a mere 24 hours after the completion of Pokemon Red. But the game is afoot, so GET YOUR ENGINES REVVED FOR SLOW, CHAOTIC PROGRESS!

Filed Under   pokemon   twitch plays pokemon

Article These Movies are NOT Games

By Staff / September 11, 2013

 

Is It A Game?

No

Analysis:

Bet you thought this would be a game, because Super Mario Bros. is usually a game? Well, you're wrong. This AIN'T no game. Which is a double-negative, meaning this IS a game, technically. But actually, it isn't a game: it's a movie. That's why you're able to watch it in theaters or on your TV and not play it using a videogame console.

Filed Under   movies

Article 10 Nerdy Gingerbread Creations

By Chloe Cole / January 2, 2014

Optimus Prime

Nerdiest Gingerbread Creations

Already 100 times better than anything Michael Bay did with Transformers.

Filed Under   gingerbread

Article 7 Lines That Would Have Ended The Avengers Real Fast

By Andrew Bridgman / August 7, 2013



Filed Under   marvel   the avengers

Article The Best of "Wars vs. Thrones"

By Staff / July 24, 2013

This week, the internet meme-bean machine kicked into high gear with "Wars vs. Thrones" – having characters from Game of Thrones and Star Wars compare their horrible situations (usually the Star Wars folk have it a little bit worse). These are the best ones produced (so far):

The Best of Wars vs Thrones
(via)

Filed Under   star wars   memes   game of thrones   internerd

Article The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History

By Tristan Cooper / February 12, 2014

The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History 

Love and videogames have had a checkered history, at best. Players are either forced through a cheesy story with the dramatic chops of a high school play, or they're asked to pick a series of branches on a dialogue tree in a game of Choose Your Own Relationship. Turns out game developers aren't as good at approximating the complex emotions of human beings as they are at making grisly blood spatter from a chainsaw gun.

 

But every once in a while, in between the shy schoolgirls and alien love triangles, you can find some pretty messed up hook ups. We've compiled a list of these outliers, the most ludicrous liasons in gaming. Whatever you do, don't fall in love.

 

 

 

6. You and your spouse in Skyrim

 

The 6 Most Twisted Romances in Videogame History

 

In Skyrim, getting hitched is as simple as wearing a special amulet and chatting up the townsfolk. It doesn't take much for a citizen to become your lifelong partner, but who can blame them? You're famous, you've got great job security as the Dovahkiin and you can carry like 18 cheese wheels at once -- they gotta lock that down. But once you're married, the game's simple romance mechanics show their seedier side.

 

After you've sworn to carry each other's burdens, your spouse just stays at home and waits for you to return, earning you 100 gold per day while watching over your growing hoard of dragon bones. If you choose to sleep in bed with your S.O. instead of in a cave filled with Nordic zombie corpses, you get a small XP bonus for your swift and inevitable exit to the outside world. Worse yet, if you marry someone who can also be a follower, they're forced into the thankless life that is the Dovahkiin's packmule and meatshield. Accidentally shooting them with an arrow to the back of the head could be considered a mercy killing.

 

Then again, mariticide actually serves a function in Skyrim -- it's the only way to divorce your spouse. If you do decide to brutally murder the person you vowed to honor and protect, you're officially back on the market. You're welcome to remarry and rekill as often as your heart desires, at least until you run out of mates and remember that you never finished the main quest.

 

Filed Under   creepy   love   romance