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Article 7 Times Graphical Limitations Helped Define Awesome Videogame Characters

By Karl Smallwood / April 11, 2014

Graphics are everything in the world of videogames - the capabilities of a graphics engine can completely change everything about what a game will ultimately be. The greater graphical abilities of the Playstation is what brought Square and Final Fantasy to Sony, the Mode 7 capabilities of the Super Nintendo allowed F-Zero and Super Mario Kart to exist at all, and the chunky graphics of the N64 captured James Bond's weird square hands for the first time ever.

But sometimes graphics can seemingly hold stuff back too. After all, each generation of videogames has their limits, and the developers are stuck working within those limits. But sometimes those limits can help define a character perfectly, in a way that more advanced graphics would have messed up. These are a few of those.

 

1. Crash Bandicoot looks the way he does because they didn't have any more polygons to flesh him out.

 6 Times Graphical Limitations Helped Define Awesome Videogame Characters

 

You only need to take one look at Crash Bandicoot to know why the wumpa fruit loving marsupial was a huge hit with fans from the start. His goofy grin, ungainly gait and big dumb shoes all combine into an instantly endearing character you can't help but want to go on an adventure/twirling backhand island natives with.

However, almost everything that makes Crash, well, Crash, is the result of the creators of the game simply not having enough polygons to work with. For starters, Crash's face was intentionally made as large and goofy as possible so that we could actually see it, this resulted in the character being designed with no neck, which resulted in his signature way of moving and turning to the camera. Speaking of movement, Crash's shoes are a result of the poor resolution of the screen making it difficult to make out his limbs when he was moving. Hell, the only reason that Crash Bandicoot is orange is because that was literally the only color that didn't make him look like shit in contrast to the stages he appeared on. It's also the reason no stages containing lava appear in the original game.

So maybe "graphics got too good" is the reason we haven't seen a new Crash game in so long. Yeah, that's probably it.

Article Titanfall Trolls Cheaters In the Best Way Possible

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Titanfall, like any other game with competitive multiplayer released in the last few decades, has a little bit of an issue with hackers. They use aimbots, wallhacks, and more to more or less ruin the game experience for everyone else. Also, for themselves, because what's the fun in playing a game like Titanfall if you're going to cheat? ARE GIANT MECHS AND JETPACKS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU?

Anyways, the makers of Titanfall have come up with a fun way of dealing with these Swordfish-wannabes: let them battle each other. ONLY each other.

Titanfall Trolls Cheaters In the Best Way Possible

Filed Under   titanfall   cheaters

Article ALERT: We Recommend You Change Your Password, Burn Your Computer, and Also Get A Whole New Face

By Andrew Bridgman / April 15, 2014

ALERT: We Recommend You Change Your Password, Burn Your Computer, and Also Get A Whole New Face

Hey guys!

So - you may have heard of the so-called "Heartbleed vulnerability" - essentially, it's a security bug in open-source OpenSSL. Many sites that were thought to be secure were anything but - and while updates have fixed the problem, the exploit was wide open for quite a long time.

As a result, we recommend you take the following actions:

 

1. Change your passwords.

All of your passwords. Email, Facebook, banks, secret knocks to get into the neighborhood clubhouse, safe words you've worked out with your sexual partner for when things go a little "too far", Twitter, etc. All of them may have been compromised.

 

2. Smash and burn your computer.

Unfortunately, the odds that your entire system has been corrupted is too great at this point. The only solution is to destroy the hardware and sever your connection to this technology. Some major shit is about to go down, and the suits were too late in catching it. We're talking that Johnny Cage 'Transcendence' movie type shit here.

 

3. Scatter the ashes of your computer across the four corners of the earth.

Keep the cursed remains of your computer as far away from each other as possible. It's only delaying the inevitable, but every second counts.

Filed Under   internet   heartbleed   security

Article Tumblr and Pokemon Are a Super Effective Combination

By Staff / March 31, 2014

Filed Under   pokemon   tumblr   internerd

Article New Characters Announced For PlayStation All-Star Battle Royale!

By Andrew Bridgman / April 9, 2014

Nintendo thinks they're SOOOOOOO hot, announcing a couple "new" characters for the upcoming Smash Bros. game, including EXCITING entries like Zelda, Sheik, Zero Suit Samus, and Yoshi. WOW. Well, you're not the ONLY one with a mascot fighting game ya know. Sony's got one too - and they've got PLENTY of new characters on the horizon!

 

New Characters Announced For PlayStation AllStar Battle Royale

 

New Characters Announced For PlayStation AllStar Battle Royale

Article I Think Something's Wrong With My Buzzfeed Quiz Results

By Andrew Bridgman / April 23, 2014

 I Think Somethings Wrong With My Buzzfeed Quiz Results

 

 

I Think Somethings Wrong With My Buzzfeed Quiz Results

Filed Under   quiz   results   buzzfeed

Article There's Something Seriously Wrong With Anakin Skywalker's Shadow

By Andrew Bridgman / April 22, 2014

Theres Something Seriously Wrong With Anakin Skywalkers Shadow

  1. Some Guy

    Hey, kid! HEY!

  2. Anakin

    What? What is it?

  3. Some Guy

    There is something SERIOUSLY messed up with your shadow.

  4. Anakin

    What do you OH SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT

  5. Some Guy

    Like, I know we got two suns here on Tatooine and that messes with the shadows, but yours looks like a freakin' Elmers Glue container or something.

  6. Anakin

    I was gonna say - looks sorta like a lady in a mumu with a really bad bob haircut.

  7. Some Guy

    You don't think it might have some kind of...ominous warning, do you?

  8. Anakin

    You mean a....foreshadow?

  9. (the two laugh uproariously)
  10. Some Guy

    Haha, good one. But for real - even in a galaxy filled with weird aliens and a magic Force that binds all life together, that's some fucked up shit going on there with your shadow. You probably got space cancer or something.

Article The Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay On the Internet

By Andrew Bridgman / March 27, 2014

Rocksteady, April O'Neil, and Bebop

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via Cardboardtube Knight

 

Krang

Some of the Best Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Cosplay

via The RPF

Article How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fool's Day Prank

By Andrew Bridgman / April 1, 2014

Entertainment News Site Has a Major Scoop

Batman vs. Superman is actually gonna star Christian Bale as Batman now? Steven Spielberg is taking over the new Star Wars movies and they're going to crossover with the Harry Potter universe? Wow - very subtle with the PRANKS, MOVIE NEWS INTERNET SITES!

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Write "NUH-UH - NOT BUYING IT!" in the comments. Add "YOU JUST GOT APRIL SCHOOL'D!!" if you feel your comment warrants it.

 

Friend or Relative Alerts You of a Major Life Event Via Text

Your cousin is getting married? Your best friend just found out she was pregnant? Your dad was hit head-on by a semi-truck and is in the ICU of the local hospital, where your mom is sitting in the waiting room, catatonic from shock and a grief so deep it is completely unknowable?

Could these people BE any more obvious with their pranks? (classic Chandler reference)

How To Deal With Every Kind of April Fools Day Prank

What To Do: Text back "PSSSSSSSSH - APRIL TOOLS DAY IS MORE LIKE IT!" Because they're all a bunch of piss-poor prankin' tools, that is.

Filed Under   pranks   april fools

Article Darth Vader Has Some Questions For the Emperor

By Andrew Bridgman / March 28, 2014
Darth Vader Has Some Questions For The Emperor