Love and videogames have had a checkered history, at best. Players are either forced through a cheesy story with the dramatic chops of a high school play, or they're asked to pick a series of branches on a dialogue tree in a game of Choose Your Own Relationship. Turns out game developers aren't as good at approximating the complex emotions of human beings as they are at making grisly blood spatter from a chainsaw gun.
But every once in a while, in between the shy schoolgirls and alien love triangles, you can find some pretty messed up hook ups. We've compiled a list of these outliers, the most ludicrous liasons in gaming. Whatever you do, don't fall in love.
6. You and your spouse in Skyrim
In Skyrim, getting hitched is as simple as wearing a special amulet and chatting up the townsfolk. It doesn't take much for a citizen to become your lifelong partner, but who can blame them? You're famous, you've got great job security as the Dovahkiin and you can carry like 18 cheese wheels at once -- they gotta lock that down. But once you're married, the game's simple romance mechanics show their seedier side.
After you've sworn to carry each other's burdens, your spouse just stays at home and waits for you to return, earning you 100 gold per day while watching over your growing hoard of dragon bones. If you choose to sleep in bed with your S.O. instead of in a cave filled with Nordic zombie corpses, you get a small XP bonus for your swift and inevitable exit to the outside world. Worse yet, if you marry someone who can also be a follower, they're forced into the thankless life that is the Dovahkiin's packmule and meatshield. Accidentally shooting them with an arrow to the back of the head could be considered a mercy killing.
Then again, mariticide actually serves a function in Skyrim -- it's the only way to divorce your spouse. If you do decide to brutally murder the person you vowed to honor and protect, you're officially back on the market. You're welcome to remarry and rekill as often as your heart desires, at least until you run out of mates and remember that you never finished the main quest.