Articles

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Article Mario Bros Plumbing

December 27, 2010
  1. Mario

    I think the Mario brothers are pretty well qualified for your plumbing company, sir.

  2. Manager

    Well, Mario-

  3. Mario

    Dr. Mario. Olympic athlete Dr. Mario.

  4. Manager

    Er, yes. It seems that your doctorate was earned via a Tetris knock-off?

  5. Mario

    Indeed it was.

  6. Manager

    Well, Mr…

  7. Mario

    Mario.

  8. Manager

    Your name is Mario Mario?

Filed Under   conversations   mario

Article 7 Videogame Bumper Stickers and Decals

By Brian Murphy and Julia Lepetit / January 25, 2011

Filed Under   final fantasy   earthbound

Article The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History

By Steve Romano / October 12, 2012
The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History - Image 1

The world of movies and TV have long been filled with fake videogames that only exist within the boundaries of their respective universes – whether it's due to plot demands that couldn't be filled by existing games or simply trying to avoid copyright infringement. While sometimes there are games that look so incredible that the possibility of their existence would have nerds foaming at the mouth, there are also games too weird to possibly exist anywhere in the real world. Here are the 8 most bizarre fictional videogames in history.

8. Super Bario Bros. (Muppet Babies)

The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History - Image 2

With a title as ambiguous as Super Bario Bros., it either sounds like a shrink-wrapped bootleg video game you'd find being sold off a filthy tarp in a New York subway thoroughfare or the name of a bodega with some spelling issues. But given what goes on in the game itself is something that could only be found in those pirated video games, we're leaning towards the former.

Super Bario Bros. is essentially what happens when – please forgive the following potentially-scarring mental image of Muppet/NES game cartridge intercourse – the original Donkey Kong and Gonzo had a baby without Super Mario Bros. even being aware of the infidelity going on behind its own back. In the search for an adequate analogy, we nearly forgot to mention the King Koopa knockoff that throws what look like neon green boogers instead of fireballs and hammers. There's that too.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   dorklysts

Article Pwn Up: Animal Crashing

By Andrew Bridgman / July 15, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Animal Crashing
Playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf has made me realize how horrible a person I am. I really like all my neighbors, like Ivan, Butch, and Sprinkles. But the neighbor I really don't want to be in my town is Deena, mainly because she is too common and I want to see the new neighbors. So for days I have been constantly pushing her around and whacking her with my bug net. One day, Deena wanted to talk to me and I was really hoping that she wanted to talk about moving out. Out of nowhere, she hands me a common wall. Now those walls aren't worth much and I really didn't need it, but that gesture just really touched my heart. After that, I whacked Deena a couple more times with my bug net.-Curtis

Recently I had to bring my laptop to a shop to get repairs for the battery. When I got it back a week later, they noted that there was a extra fee for keyboard maintenance. I almost broke my keyboard from mashing the F key while using the Dowsing Rod in Psychonauts -Charlie

So, My mom has this little suction-cup-hook-thing in the shower than she keeps all her scrubby things on. And, it tends to fall down a lot. Like, once a week. It's not a very strong suction cup. Another thing I need to say is that I'm a pretty avid Minecraft fan (trust me, this will be important in a minute). So, I was getting ready for work the other day. And as I was brushing my teeth, the suction cup decided to fall. My back was turned to it when it happened, and all I heard was "ssssssssssss" and then a big crash. As soon as I heard the hiss, I bolted out of the bathroom, and the first thought that crossed my mind was "What do I have in my inventory? I'm going to lose everything!!!" Needless to say, I didn't lose any of my inventory.-Jake

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article 7 Easy Steps To Making Your Own Darth Vader Cosplay!

By Staff / April 12, 2014

1. Gather Up All The Necessary Materials

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2. Succumb to the Tempting Nature of Power

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Filed Under   cosplay   fan art expo   c2e2   c2e2 weekends

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #47

November 18, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

When I was about 11, I hung out in my local video rental store for seven hours waiting for Chrono Trigger to come back. Eventually, they threw me out.-Matthew

One night, my roommate was playing Pokemon Yellow and he had made a lot of progress. After a while, I realized that he had fallen asleep. His Gameboy was still on and in his hand. Without waking him, I pressed start, saved, turned it off, and then put it somewhere safe. When he woke up the next morning he asked me where it was. I told him what I did and he thanked me and said I was like a caring mother.-Chris

I'm currently deployed with the Marines. I recently was able to get Internet in my berthing area and was on Skype with my fiance while playing Minecraft. I was talking about the things we have to deal with and started yelling "Sh*t sh*t sh*t!" She got really scared and said, "What's going on, are you okay?!" I said, "It's getting dark out and the monsters are coming soon."-Jim

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Weekly IRL: Dorkly Halloween Round-up 2k11

By Staff / November 3, 2011


Filed Under   cosplay   the weekly irl   halloween 2k11

Article Pwn Up: Robot Unicorn a Cake

By Kevin Corrigan / August 26, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As soon as I heard about Kingdom Hearts 2, I knew I had to get it the day it came out. I was in middle school. I told my mom that it was such a huge game that she had to get me to the store two hours early to beat the line. She wouldn't stand for that. It was a 30 minute drive already. I settled for half an hour before the store opened. The only other people waiting were a college student and a grandma. Both of them were there for batteries.-L.T.

I fought with my girlfriend all the time when I was 16. She told me that she would move on if I didn't buy her a great birthday present. We were both huge Star Wars fans, so I gave her my custom-built lightsaber I'd made at Disney World a few years earlier. She dumped me and never gave it back.-Reid

I'm a fanfic writer. I love writing crossover fanfics. I once crossed the universes of the Odd Thomas series and Harry Potter. As time passed, I got no reviews. The problem was evident. Rare were the fans of Odd Thomas, and rarer were the fans of Odd Thomas fanfiction, let alone Odd Thomas, Harry Potter crossovers. One glorious day though, I received a long and stunning review from a fan of both who adored my story. I wrote her back. Now we're best friends.-Jess

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Marvel vs. Capcom 2 Strategy Guide, Written by My 15 Year-Old Self

May 17, 2010
Filed Under   marvel   capcom

Article Mario World Billboards

June 9, 2010