Article Pwn Up: Magic the Condoming
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.
When I used to need to pee between Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne matches, I peed in the sink in the kitchen. It was closer than the bathroom.-Anonymous
I walked eight miles in the mid-day Florida sun to buy Pokemon: White on launch day. If I had waited until the next day, I would have had money for the bus.-Chris
I got an EvE Online tattoo on my right arm a few months back. And a Deus Ex tattoo on my left arm. Yeaaaaah!-Anonymous (Picture below)
My dad and I have always been gamers. We each have our own PS3 in different parts of the house. He got his because I wouldn't let him play mine while I was sleeping. It had unintended consequences. My dad recently had a videogame night for him and his friends. I was not invited.-A Regretful Son
Article Pwn My Life: Issue #35October 7, 2010
Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.
When I was a fat little 11-year-old, my favorite part of Mario 64 was just running around open areas without having Mario ever get tired.-Rock
About a week ago, I woke up early in the morning to find myself crying. I'd had a disturbing dream which had awoken me and left me feeling depressed for several days. The dream was that I was browsing the internet and saw that IGN had posted an early review of Fallout: New Vegas and given it a 7.4.-Steve
My senior year of high school, I had a math teacher that mentioned he played WoW when he first introduced himself. By the third month of class, my best friend and I hated him. One night, we decided to see if we could find him in the game. We tried a bunch of names in the armory and found a lone alliance paladin with the same last name as our teacher. It was a pretty unique last name, so we were sure it was him. The next day we each paid $25 to transfer our horde characters to his realm and spent the week following him and killing him. He would come to school angry each day. Finally, we asked him if he had been getting harassed by a priest and a mage lately. He gave us a death stare and we were both removed from his class within a few weeks. The reason the school gave us was for "making his life difficult."-Louie
In Elementary School, several guys started a Pokemon club that used to gather at recess and watch one person play Pokemon Red on his Game Boy. It became crowded quickly and other kids got jealous because there wasn't enough room under the slide. This fringe group started calling themselves Team Rocket. One day, the two groups met on the playground and had a big fight. Everyone involved had to go to a meeting afterwards because the school thought it was gang related.-Montana
As long as mankind has stood on dry land, we have looked up at the sky and wondered, "Shit, dude, how cool would floating islands be?" While science and technology continue to fail us day after day, videogames have come through to stoke our imaginations with images of our ultimate aspiration: to live among the clouds. In the spirit of that lofty ideal, here's our list of the greatest floating islands in video games.
8. Skyloft (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)
The only way living on a series of floating islands could ever be construed as a safe idea is if you don't actually know that solid ground exists beneath you. Luckily for Link, Zelda, and the other inhabitants of Skyloft, a life surrounded by nothing but a sea of clouds (and of course the ever-present threat of death by freefall) is all they've ever known. As a result, the people of Skyloft appear to be both prideful, brave, and severely ignorant. Possessing the Triforce of Courage doesn't really seem that impressive when one of the main hobbies for Skyloft youth appears to be jumping off cliffs and then hoping that one of the island's indigenous giant birds will break your fall. Eventually, Link makes his way to the surface world of Hyrule, but can travel back to Skyloft using the Skyward Sword at any time. We can only hope he uses this ability to help drastically reduce Skyloft's ultra-high mortality rate among wandering blind people.
Pick any schmo off the street and they can easily rattle off every one's favorite video game teams: Mario and Luigi. Rachet and Clank. Sonic and Tails. Mega Man and Rush. Kong and his Diddy. But what about some of the lesser appreciated duos? The teams of two putting their collective necks on the live to better our lives? Here's our tribute to gaming's most under-appreciated tag teams.
6. A Boy and His Blob The Boy and his Blob
A boy. A blob. A sh*tload of jellybeans. Endless possibilities.
Anything the boy wanted, the blob delivered. You need to climb some stuff? I'm your ladder. Feed me some tangerine jellybeans, you got yourself a trampoline. Got a hankerin' to rocket off into space? It'll cost you something root beer flavored.
These two could do it all and they did it through friendship: the most powerful flavored jellybean of them all. Not to mention, I can't think of many characters that can actually complete an entire NES game in under 10 mins.
Article Halo Firefight: A Hero's DeathMarch 7, 2011
Uh, Mrs. Gunki77er?
There's no easy way to say this. Your son died in a Halo firefight last night-
Ten times, ending his game.
That that is a lot of times.