Articles

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Article Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

By Andrew Bridgman / January 7, 2014

   Gone Home: The Dorkly Review

Gone Home has been the subject of much debate over the past few months - many arguing that it isn't a game at all, that it's too short, etc. So we decided to sit down and play it - here are the three main criticisms we had about this game:

 

1. Not Enough Gun Variety!
 
2. Spent Like An Hour Searching For Mana Restoration Potions!
 
3. Not Enough Enemies!

 

Should you buy Gone Home? Personally, I would advise you to wait for a map pack DLC to be released - right now, there's only a single small map included, and there was no one else on the server. Very frustrating. A glitch in my game also removed all the guns and samurai swords apparently, so I was basically defenseless. Out of boredom, I just kinda wandered around and picked through whatever letters and cassettes I could find lying around while looking for mana restoration potions so I could cast lightning spells (had difficulty finding the magicka menu, still haven't located it actually).

Filed Under   dorkly review   gone home

Article The Dorklyst: 6 Most Underrated Duos in Videogame History

By Brandon Hoang / July 5, 2011

Pick any schmo off the street and they can easily rattle off every one's favorite video game teams: Mario and Luigi. Rachet and Clank. Sonic and Tails. Mega Man and Rush. Kong and his Diddy. But what about some of the lesser appreciated duos? The teams of two putting their collective necks on the live to better our lives? Here's our tribute to gaming's most under-appreciated tag teams.

6. A Boy and His Blob – The Boy… and his Blob


A boy. A blob. A sh*tload of jellybeans. Endless possibilities.

Anything the boy wanted, the blob delivered. You need to climb some stuff? I'm your ladder. Feed me some tangerine jellybeans, you got yourself a trampoline. Got a hankerin' to rocket off into space? It'll cost you something root beer flavored.

These two could do it all and they did it through friendship: the most powerful flavored jellybean of them all. Not to mention, I can't think of many characters that can actually complete an entire NES game in under 10 mins.

Filed Under   the dorklyst

Article Halo Firefight: A Hero's Death

March 7, 2011
  1. General

    Uh, Mrs. Gunki77er?

  2. Mother

    Yes, general?

  3. General

    There's no easy way to say this. Your son died in a Halo firefight last night-

  4. Mother

    What?

  5. General

    Ten times, ending his game.

  6. Mother

    That…that is a lot of times.

Filed Under   conversations   halo

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pictures of Cosplayers with a Sense of Humor

December 16, 2010

Filed Under   cosplay   the weekly irl

Article Mario Bros Plumbing

December 27, 2010
  1. Mario

    I think the Mario brothers are pretty well qualified for your plumbing company, sir.

  2. Manager

    Well, Mario-

  3. Mario

    Dr. Mario. Olympic athlete Dr. Mario.

  4. Manager

    Er, yes. It seems that your doctorate was earned via a Tetris knock-off?

  5. Mario

    Indeed it was.

  6. Manager

    Well, Mr…

  7. Mario

    Mario.

  8. Manager

    Your name is Mario Mario?

Filed Under   conversations   mario

Article 7 Videogame Bumper Stickers and Decals

By Brian Murphy and Julia Lepetit / January 25, 2011

Filed Under   final fantasy   earthbound

Article The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History

By Steve Romano / October 12, 2012
The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History - Image 1

The world of movies and TV have long been filled with fake videogames that only exist within the boundaries of their respective universes – whether it's due to plot demands that couldn't be filled by existing games or simply trying to avoid copyright infringement. While sometimes there are games that look so incredible that the possibility of their existence would have nerds foaming at the mouth, there are also games too weird to possibly exist anywhere in the real world. Here are the 8 most bizarre fictional videogames in history.

8. Super Bario Bros. (Muppet Babies)

The Dorklyst: The 8 Most Bizarre Fictional Videogames in History - Image 2

With a title as ambiguous as Super Bario Bros., it either sounds like a shrink-wrapped bootleg video game you'd find being sold off a filthy tarp in a New York subway thoroughfare or the name of a bodega with some spelling issues. But given what goes on in the game itself is something that could only be found in those pirated video games, we're leaning towards the former.

Super Bario Bros. is essentially what happens when – please forgive the following potentially-scarring mental image of Muppet/NES game cartridge intercourse – the original Donkey Kong and Gonzo had a baby without Super Mario Bros. even being aware of the infidelity going on behind its own back. In the search for an adequate analogy, we nearly forgot to mention the King Koopa knockoff that throws what look like neon green boogers instead of fireballs and hammers. There's that too.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   dorklysts

Article Pwn Up: Animal Crashing

By Andrew Bridgman / July 15, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Animal Crashing
Playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf has made me realize how horrible a person I am. I really like all my neighbors, like Ivan, Butch, and Sprinkles. But the neighbor I really don't want to be in my town is Deena, mainly because she is too common and I want to see the new neighbors. So for days I have been constantly pushing her around and whacking her with my bug net. One day, Deena wanted to talk to me and I was really hoping that she wanted to talk about moving out. Out of nowhere, she hands me a common wall. Now those walls aren't worth much and I really didn't need it, but that gesture just really touched my heart. After that, I whacked Deena a couple more times with my bug net.-Curtis

Recently I had to bring my laptop to a shop to get repairs for the battery. When I got it back a week later, they noted that there was a extra fee for keyboard maintenance. I almost broke my keyboard from mashing the F key while using the Dowsing Rod in Psychonauts -Charlie

So, My mom has this little suction-cup-hook-thing in the shower than she keeps all her scrubby things on. And, it tends to fall down a lot. Like, once a week. It's not a very strong suction cup. Another thing I need to say is that I'm a pretty avid Minecraft fan (trust me, this will be important in a minute). So, I was getting ready for work the other day. And as I was brushing my teeth, the suction cup decided to fall. My back was turned to it when it happened, and all I heard was "ssssssssssss" and then a big crash. As soon as I heard the hiss, I bolted out of the bathroom, and the first thought that crossed my mind was "What do I have in my inventory? I'm going to lose everything!!!" Needless to say, I didn't lose any of my inventory.-Jake

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #47

November 18, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

When I was about 11, I hung out in my local video rental store for seven hours waiting for Chrono Trigger to come back. Eventually, they threw me out.-Matthew

One night, my roommate was playing Pokemon Yellow and he had made a lot of progress. After a while, I realized that he had fallen asleep. His Gameboy was still on and in his hand. Without waking him, I pressed start, saved, turned it off, and then put it somewhere safe. When he woke up the next morning he asked me where it was. I told him what I did and he thanked me and said I was like a caring mother.-Chris

I'm currently deployed with the Marines. I recently was able to get Internet in my berthing area and was on Skype with my fiance while playing Minecraft. I was talking about the things we have to deal with and started yelling "Sh*t sh*t sh*t!" She got really scared and said, "What's going on, are you okay?!" I said, "It's getting dark out and the monsters are coming soon."-Jim

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Weekly IRL: Dorkly Halloween Round-up 2k11

By Staff / November 3, 2011


Filed Under   cosplay   the weekly irl   halloween 2k11