Articles

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Article The Dorklyst: 8 of the Greatest Cities in Videogame History

By Sophie Prell / May 19, 2011


Hi there, and thanks for choosing Dorkly Travel. We're your one-stop shop for all fictional fantasy wonderland getaways, tours and those family packages the kids have been begging you for. My name is Sophie Prell, and I'll be your helpful "I swear my enthusiasm is genuine" guide. From your information, I see that you've been looking at some of our city destinations. Well, sit back dear sir/madam, and allow me to fill you in on our top spots.

8) Raccoon City (Resident Evil 2 & 3)


Now I won't lie to you, I'm going to start by showing you some of our bargain packages first. They may not be as appealing as you'd like, but they certainly have character. Well, except this one. Because most everyone there is dead. Oh, and the town was decimated by a nuclear strike. Something about ungodly horrors man was not meant to see. But the radioactive fallout has cleared up a lot since then, prime real estate is very, very available, and the mountains are just lovely in the fall. Plus, the area is littered with miracle weeds that'll cure everything from bites and claw marks (their most common application prior to that whole nuke thing) to cottonmouth and herpes. So you know… that's something.

Filed Under   the dorklyst

Article Pwn Up: Filmographics

By Jake Young / December 30, 2013

Pwn Up: Filmographics

Hey Dorkly, here's a Christmas story I hope makes its way into Pwn Up. Enjoy!

 

Every year my brother and I exchange a notoriously bad old school videogame for Christmas as a gag gift. This year, I thought I would step it up and give him the gift he really wanted. 

Anyway keep doing awesome work and have a great holiday!

 

 

 

- Richard

Filed Under   movies   pwn my life   pwn up   simpsons

Article Best Steam Reviews: Secret of the Magic Crystals

By Andrew Bridgman / March 20, 2014

Best Steam Reviews: Secret of the Magic Crystals

Secret of the Magic Crystals is one of the best reviewed games on Steam - but what is it about this horse-breeding simulator that's struck a nerve in the PC gaming community? Check out some of the reviews and see for yourselves! 

 

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Best Steam Reviews: Secret of the Magic Crystals

 

Best Steam Reviews: Secret of the Magic Crystals

Article Boss Music: 5 Classics From Final Fantasy VII

November 8, 2010

Boss Music is a weekly column dedicated to classic videogame music. Have a game you want featured? Tell us at the Dorkly Facebook page.



Filed Under   final fantasy   boss music

Article Pwn Up: Red Dead Rickdemption

By Andrew Bridgman / August 12, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Red Dead Rickdemption
In Red Dead Redemption, there's a story mission where you help Bonnie round up some wild horses and at the end you get to break a golden stallion. I named the stallion Rick, and he was the Silver to my Lone Ranger throughout the entire game. I never let Rick out of my sight…even on missions that involved riding in wagons or on the train, I always made sure he was following close behind. I refused to let Rick die and would load a previous save file any time there was an accident, of which there were plenty (he had a propensity to wander into firefights and attract mountain lions). I estimate that I lost around 4-5 hours of gameplay just from backtracking to keep Rick alive. I was LIVID at the end of the game when John helped his family escape on a horse and the horse chosen for the cutscene was just some random mustang and NOT RICK.-Charles

At work, I use Outlook to manage my task list. I red flag anything that needs to be attended to, sort the whole inbox by flagged first, and uncheck it when it's done. I realized today I'm just playing Skyrim with life now.-Garrett

For 8 months I was dieting meaning I ate healthy foods, whole grains, low calories and keeping an eye on my over all intake. My parents thought it was because I was doing it for my health. The real reason was I didn't want to look fat in the Iron Man cosplay I was building for a local con. -Janan

Pwn Up: Pwn
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Weekly IRL: Best Of "I'm From The Internet" Meme

September 23, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl   memes

Article Pwn Up: Magic the Condoming

By Kevin Corrigan / March 16, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Magic the Condoming - Image 1

When I used to need to pee between Warcraft 3: Frozen Throne matches, I peed in the sink in the kitchen. It was closer than the bathroom.-Anonymous

I walked eight miles in the mid-day Florida sun to buy Pokemon: White on launch day. If I had waited until the next day, I would have had money for the bus.-Chris

I got an EvE Online tattoo on my right arm a few months back. And a Deus Ex tattoo on my left arm. Yeaaaaah!-Anonymous (Picture below)

My dad and I have always been gamers. We each have our own PS3 in different parts of the house. He got his because I wouldn't let him play mine while I was sleeping. It had unintended consequences. My dad recently had a videogame night for him and his friends. I was not invited.-A Regretful Son

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #35

October 7, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

When I was a fat little 11-year-old, my favorite part of Mario 64 was just running around open areas without having Mario ever get tired.-Rock

About a week ago, I woke up early in the morning to find myself crying. I'd had a disturbing dream which had awoken me and left me feeling depressed for several days. The dream was that I was browsing the internet and saw that IGN had posted an early review of Fallout: New Vegas and given it a 7.4.-Steve

My senior year of high school, I had a math teacher that mentioned he played WoW when he first introduced himself. By the third month of class, my best friend and I hated him. One night, we decided to see if we could find him in the game. We tried a bunch of names in the armory and found a lone alliance paladin with the same last name as our teacher. It was a pretty unique last name, so we were sure it was him. The next day we each paid $25 to transfer our horde characters to his realm and spent the week following him and killing him. He would come to school angry each day. Finally, we asked him if he had been getting harassed by a priest and a mage lately. He gave us a death stare and we were both removed from his class within a few weeks. The reason the school gave us was for "making his life difficult."-Louie

In Elementary School, several guys started a Pokemon club that used to gather at recess and watch one person play Pokemon Red on his Game Boy. It became crowded quickly and other kids got jealous because there wasn't enough room under the slide. This fringe group started calling themselves Team Rocket. One day, the two groups met on the playground and had a big fight. Everyone involved had to go to a meeting afterwards because the school thought it was gang related.-Montana

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Dorklyst: 8 of the Greatest Floating Islands in Videogame History

By Dan Abromowitz and Caldwell Tanner / July 27, 2011


As long as mankind has stood on dry land, we have looked up at the sky and wondered, "Shit, dude, how cool would floating islands be?" While science and technology continue to fail us day after day, videogames have come through to stoke our imaginations with images of our ultimate aspiration: to live among the clouds. In the spirit of that lofty ideal, here's our list of the greatest floating islands in video games.


8. Skyloft (Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword)


The only way living on a series of floating islands could ever be construed as a safe idea is if you don't actually know that solid ground exists beneath you. Luckily for Link, Zelda, and the other inhabitants of Skyloft, a life surrounded by nothing but a sea of clouds (and of course the ever-present threat of death by freefall) is all they've ever known. As a result, the people of Skyloft appear to be both prideful, brave, and severely ignorant. Possessing the Triforce of Courage doesn't really seem that impressive when one of the main hobbies for Skyloft youth appears to be jumping off cliffs and then hoping that one of the island's indigenous giant birds will break your fall. Eventually, Link makes his way to the surface world of Hyrule, but can travel back to Skyloft using the Skyward Sword at any time. We can only hope he uses this ability to help drastically reduce Skyloft's ultra-high mortality rate among wandering blind people.

Filed Under   the dorklyst

Article Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

By Andrew Bridgman / January 13, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we look at your greatest nerdy victories. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail 

 

  Pwn Up: Our Moment of Triumph

 

When my brother was twelve, I was seven. For my seventh b-day, my uncle gave me a PS2 and a copy of FFX.

As in all the families, my brother played and I watched. He beat the game several times - but he never did three things: Complete a Blitzball League, beat any of the dark eons, and pass 9999 of damage, which he accomplished only with Auron. 

This year I was in England for two and a half months with some of my parents' friends. 
Their son had a PS2 with a FFX. I resisted only 2 days - then I passed literally 4 days gathering the astral weapons and the emblems. 
Then, dead Zanarkand, something between 2 am and 8 pm of July,18. 
Auron, Tidus and Yuna.
Yuna>Summon Yojimbo
Yojimbo>Give him 1 gil because cannon-meat for Dark Bahamut's turbo
>Zanmato
 
Immediately dialed my brother's number. 
"Marco, how are you doing?"
"I killed that asshole."
"Who?"
"Dark Bahamut."
We both cried and laughed until my host family made me hang up
 
-Marco

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up