Articles

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Article The Weekly IRL: Nerd Protestors

September 16, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pictures of Street Fighter Invading Real Life

February 10, 2011

Filed Under   the weekly irl   street fighter

Article Pwn Up: The Pwned Republic

By Kevin Corrigan / December 16, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

As people may know, Ireland is going through some tough economic times. More and more people are emigrating in search of jobs. Unfortunately, I will most likely be one of these people. I can't afford to stay here anymore. Australia has been a popular choice amongst Irish people and with good reason; sun, sea and hot women. I ruled it out straight away because of the high price of videogames and tendency to ban games with an 18+ rating.-Dan

I got drunk at my bachelorette party and got a tramp stamp tattoo of the classic Batman symbol.-Lass

My OKCupid profile contains only the sentence, "I am ranked No.3 on the Leaderboard for Elvis Costello – 'Pump It Up' on Rock Band 3 on ProExpert Drums.' I have yet to receive a single wink, message or reply.-Anonymous

Back when I was in middle school, I had been looking forward to the new Ratchet and Clank game for awhile. I was really excited when I got home from school the day it was delivered to my house. I had just started playing when my parents brought me into the living room and tearfully told me that they were getting divorced. After staring at the floor for a minute, I said I had to think about what was happening alone for awhile. I went back to my room and played Ratchet and Clank until I beat it. It's still one of the fondest memories I have from my childhood.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Bully Comebacks For TRUE Nerds

By Andrew Bridgman / July 30, 2012

Bully Comebacks For Nerds - Image 1


Bully Comebacks For Nerds - Image 1
Filed Under   nerds   bullies

Article Pwn Up: Risky Business

By Jake Young / March 3, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Risky Business

 

Back in the day, my friends and I were obsessed with "Tony Hawk's Pro Skater" for the N64.  Despite my amazing skills at high-scoring combos and hidden tape discovery, I am massively uncoordinated when it comes to anything with wheels, especially skateboards.  Fast forward to my freshman year of college.  There's a cute girl in my area that I have a huge crush on, and I can tell that she likes me back.  She just so happens to confide in me one day that she thinks guys on skateboards are hot.  So, instead of doing the logical thing and inviting her to my place for dinner, I ask my best friend, an avid skater, to teach me how to skate.

 

Two weeks later, a few of us (Cute Girl included) are all skating together when we come by a massive hill on our campus.  Despite having made zero progress on my skating abilities, I look at Cute Girl and immediately flash back to playing Tony Hawk, and think, "What would TH do?  How easy would it be to take this hill and impress the hell out of her?" So I attempted the hill.

 

Long story short, I ended up with a mass of cuts, bruises, and my collarbone broken into three pieces.  It took two surgeries, three years, and a small metal refinery of surgical plates and screws to fix.  Cute Girl stayed with me in the hospital.  I asked her out under the influence of morphine.

 

Three months later, we broke up.

 

Damn you, Tony Hawk.

 

-'Not-A-Skater'

 

 

Filed Under   pwn my life   romance   pwn up   skateboards

Article 6 Videogame Crossovers We'd Love to See

August 30, 2010

Filed Under   crossovers

Article The Weekly IRL: Post-it Art

August 19, 2010

Filed Under   post-it   the weekly irl

Article The Dorklyst: 6 Seemingly Family-Friendly Games That Really Aren't

By Sophie Prell / December 15, 2011

Tis the season, dear Dorkly readers. Tis the season for giving, for gathering, for growing and geniality. It's a lovely time of year, and I know a great many of you are just aching to know what games you can pop into the console without upsetting the family's delicate sensibilities as they sit, stuffed at the dinner table. Well, I have good news and bad news. Bad news is you may not want to use any of those in this list. Good news is hey, it's the Internet! There's bound to be at least one poop joke ahead! So go on, get to reading!

6. Wii Sports

Oh sure, the allure is there, and it has been for a good five years now. Create a cartoon representative of yourself and send it to Nintendo's virtual sports arena to have it do battle on the golf course, in the bowling lanes, or even a boxing ring. And why not? The system is only $150, and Wii Sports, the game that launched a thousand units (classic literature reference!), is now only $20 new. Cheap system, good for the kids to mess around with and keep occupied for a few hours right?

Oh yeah, totally. But you know what you aren't going to enjoy? The crap-ton of savings that just went down the toilet because nephew Randy "hurled that Wii remote straight through your new 46" HDTV"://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xzJDPQMTK9k. I'm pretty sure that the amount of financial damage, not to mention the punishment most parents would exact upon a child for such copious amounts of damage, would be enough to send any parent into a frenzy and classify Wii Sports as one of the world's strongest rage fuels.

Family bonding: destroyed.

5. Rayman Origins

Speaking of the holidays, here's an end-of-year release that's actually on my personal wish list. I mean, look at it. It's byoooooooteeful. And unlike the original Rayman games, which never expounded on Rayman's… uh… origins, Rayman Origins actually flat-out tells us that our weird, floating-body-and-limbless Rayman was created by moonbeams being given life from the Nymphs as part of a prophecy. It's cute, cartoony and silly, even when Rayman is being a little perv and giving his mom an upskirt.

Wait, what?

Yeah. In the announcement trailer for Origins, we see Rayman playfully giving the Nymph that has given him life — so, his mom — a blast of air from below to peek under her skirt. And even if that weren't quite odd enough, people know what nymphs are, right? Like, you realize that someone who craves sex to a clinically significant degree is called a nymphomaniac? And though the sexual connotations are fairly recent, even the more nature-centered nymphs of the Greeks still engaged in the act. And when they mated with Poseidon, they gave birth to this. Huh. You know, by those standards, Rayman actually looks pretty normal.

Filed Under   the dorklyst

Article Flowchart: Which Sidekick is Right For You?

By Alyssa Alecci and Brian Murphy / February 7, 2011

Filed Under   flowchart   awful good   sidekicks

Article Bad Dudes Flowchart

October 13, 2010
Filed Under   bad dudes   flowchart