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Article The Weekly IRL: WTF

December 2, 2010

Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article The Weekly IRL: The Droid You're Looking For

By Staff / August 18, 2011

Filed Under   r2d2   the weekly irl   star wars

Article Pwn Up: Paragon With the Wind

By Andrew Bridgman / March 25, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Hey, Does Anyone Pay Attention To the URLs - Image 2
A couple weeks ago, I was replaying the Mass Effect trilogy for the last few achievements I needed. I was about halfway through Mass Effect 3 when I had some real life stuff to do. As I was leaving my apartment, I saw the elderly maintenance man struggling to get a ladder over the fence around the pool area. I could have sworn my vision blurred for a second and my left index finger twitched a little. For those who don't know, that's how you do a Paragon action in Mass Effects 2 & 3, and I went over and helped him get the ladder over the fence.-Steven

Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening has always been one of my favorite games, and it actually was the game that got me not only hooked on videogames. Anyway, for Christmas this past year, my girlfriend knew how much I liked the series and used ideas from the game to send me on my own "Secret Seashell Quest." I walked all around her apartment and even needed to go outside by getting clues from each shell I found, and (since she kinda knew the idea but not entirely) every 5 shells I found there was an extra little gift. In the end I received a Master Sword replica and she put the shells together in a case with the Hylian Crest for me to hang up.-Tim

Pwn Up: Hey, Does Anyone Pay Attention To the URLs - Image 1

I've been going to yoga classes at my gym for a few months now and every class begins with a theme to keep in mind throughout the session. Our instructor began with "Does anyone know the true definition of insanity" Instantly, I thought 'Far Cry 3', after glancing around the room for a second or two, I raised my hand and answered "Doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result". They said it was an Einstein quote, so I'm glad they didn't ask where I knew it from.-Andrew

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Pwnkemon Heart of Gold

By Kevin Corrigan / December 9, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I recently went to my local Gamestop and asked to pre-order Skyward Sword. The employee asked me, "OK, and which system did you want to pre-order Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword for?" I asked him to repeat the question, because I was sure he made a mistake. He did, and added, "Xbox 360 or PS3?" I blew up at him. I'm no longer allowed in the store. I feel like I won on principle.-Anonymous

I've been going out with my girl for a year and a half now. For that year and a half I've been trying to get her to watch my favorite anime without success. Consequently, she's been trying to get me to propose for the last year. The other night she watched Akira with me. Now we're engaged.-Anonymous

My greatest claim to fame is that I've seen my strategy for the Portuguese in Age of Empires III translated into three languages.-Anonymous

I was sharing a shower with my girlfriend when she got water in her eyes. She said it was stinging. Rather than sympathize with her, I explained how that couldn't be true because the pH would be roughly 7 after the various treatments water goes through. Then I told her about H+ and OH- ions and their effects on the pH of solutions. She wasn't impressed to say the least.-Padraig

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Dorklyst: 12 Groundbreaking Moments in Fighting Game History

June 21, 2010

In a world where MMORPGs and boring cut-scenes run rampant, fighting games remain refreshingly uncomplicated. From arcades to console ports, fighters include many of our earliest gaming experiences and current favorites. Here's a look at some of the best moments in pixelated violence.

1. Reptile: The First Secret Character

Though Reptile has since been a playable character a million times over, his appearance in the original Mortal Kombat was surrounded with an air of mystery. By performing 2 flawless rounds and a fatality on the "Pit" stage, a player would be rewarded with a secret battle against the mystifying green ninja. Reptile's inclusion as a secret character would set the stage for unlockable characters in future fighting games. And though you've battled a lot of special bosses since then, no moment would be quite as exciting as the first time you exchanged fistacuffs with the lovable Sub-Zero palette swap. Ahhhh, murderous memories.

2. Street Fighter Invents Special Moves

Although the MK crew would hate to admit it, they can thank Street Fighter for their plethora of special attacks. Before Street Fighter, fighting games were primarily boxing and karate emulators. It was our old pal Ryu who introduced "throwing magic stuff while yelling" to the gaming masses. Street Fighter II would perfect the special moves introduced in the original and subsequent games in the series would innovate the way we dish out combo-based punishment to our enemies: Street Fighter or otherwise.

Article The Goatee Game: Tony Stark, Walter White, or Gordon Freeman?

By Chloe Cole / November 6, 2013

Walter White, Tony Stark and Gordon Freeman are all popular cosplays these days. They're all ambitious science-types who (for the most part) have shunned all facial hair outside of their goatees (also, they each kill a bunch of people), so close up they all look pretty similar. Let's celebrate No Shave November by trying to guess which goatee belongs to which cosplay.

So - who does each goatee belong to: Tony Stark, Walter White, or Gordon Freeman? 

Rollover each picture to find out!


Guess the Beard



Filed Under   half life   iron man   quiz   breaking bad   facial hair   tony stark

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 More Awesomely Nerdy Cakes

January 13, 2011

Filed Under   food   cake   the weekly irl

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Merriest Santa Claus Cameos in Videogame History

By Andrew Bridgman / December 14, 2012
The Dorklyst: The 10 Merriest Santa Claus Cameos in Videogame History - Image 13

"You better not pout, you better not cry, you better watch out, I'm tellin' you why: Santa Claus is comin' to town." – Old Klingon Proverb

The original morality motivator – way before Bioware got their grubby fingers all over it – was Santa Claus. If you were good, you were rewarded. If you were bad, you weren't (well, at least in theory. Reality: if your parents have money, you get good stuff. If not, you are consumed by a guilt complex that assumes a bearded man in the North Pole has judged you unworthy of gifts). So – it makes sense he would pop up every now and then in videogames. And here are the 10 merriest cameos by Ol' Saint Nick in videogame history.

10. Secret of Mana

The Dorklyst: The 10 Merriest Santa Claus Cameos in Videogame History - Image 1

Remember when Square games used to be fun? Not just technically-accomplished and engaging, but weird and fun and goofy? This attitude could probably best be exemplified by their output on the Super Nintendo – most notably the Secret of Mana. Halfway through the game you fight Frost Gigas – who, it turns out, is actually Santa Claus, who transformed into the evil being because children no longer believed in him (also he tried to grow a magic, big Christmas tree). So believe in Santa, kids, otherwise we'll have to deal with a frozen demon monstrosity who's really into Arbor Day.

Filed Under   christmas   the dorklyst   dorklyst   santa claus   holidays

Article Spyro is Pissed

December 20, 2010
  1. Spyro

    Alright, what's on our schedule today? Lots to do. I'm thinking crossover. Maybe a comic…

  2. Exec

    Spyro, I…I don't know how to keep telling you. It's over. No one likes you.

  3. Spyro

    What? I'm freaking Spyro. The Playstation mascot. Who is bigger than me?

  4. Exec

    Well, uh, Mario, for starters.

  5. Spyro

    Mario? The Plumber? Get out of here.

  6. Exec

    He's really popular. Everyone loves plumbers.

  7. Spyro

    You know what else is popular? Dragons. Dragons are popular.

  8. Exec

    He has a giant lizard too. So cool…

Filed Under   conversations   spyro

Article Dorklassic Dorklyst: The 15 Greatest Freedom Fighters in Videogame History

July 5, 2012

On the Fourth of July, America celebrates the Founding Fathers declaring independence from Great Britain. But let us also celebrate the videogame freedom fighters who risked their extra lives to stand up to evil corporations, governments, mad scientists, and pixelized armies. We nerds salute you.

15. The Chosen One (Fallout 2)

The Chosen One began life as a tribal nobody trying to end a drought. But his belief in every man's right to freedom, regardless of radiation levels and/or mutation, eventually lead him to freeing the West Coast (or what remained of it) from the Enclave. All he had to do was murder the President of the Enclave (don't worry – he was evil. Millard Fillmore-evil) and blow up an oil rig (an evil oil rig. Deepwater Horizon-evil). And with that, the people of the post-apocalyptic land no longer had to live in fear of the evil government – just super mutants, radiation, starvation, dehydration, disease, raiders, slavers, radscorpions, poison, gangsters, thieves, ghouls, rats, and deathclaws. That's called "progress."

14. Abe (Oddworld: Abe's Oddysee)

Abe had the unfortunate role of having to save his fellow Mudokon slaves from the ruthless, horrible-factory-designing Molluck and RuptureFarms. Unfortunately the Mudokons, while good-natured and hard-working, were completely unable to understand that walking into an electric forcefield would probably not end well. This alone should stand as a testament to Abe's dedication to freedom. That, and not having his mindless brethren turned into food products. Something we can all relate to.

Filed Under   freedom