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Article Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

By Andrew Bridgman / February 17, 2014

This week on Pwn Up, we asked to hear about the the travails you went through in the messy world of online gaming. If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail  


  Pwn Up: MMO Money, MMO Problems

This is a story I assume you'll get more than one of. Day-God Damn-Z. I won't tell every story just the most entertaining one. I spawned near Three Valleys and started trekking north to Berizino. The usual shtick. I met up with a friend of mine in-game and we looted building and killed zombies. We were held up by 3 bandits with guns, all our equipment taken and force fed rotten fruit. We were then told that we had to fight to the death for charcoal tablets. I hesitated for a second but he hesitated for 2. The 3 bandits gave me back my axe and sent me on my way - but I have to LIVE with that shit now. DayZ - the only game that can really make you question your conscience.

Filed Under   pwn my life   mmo   pwn up

Article 9 Albums From Videogame Characters

By Robert Jenner and Henry Alexander / January 26, 2011

Filed Under   left 4 dead   fallout

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #74

By Kevin Corrigan / May 6, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

The other day my dad told me, "You don't know it yet, but these are the best times of your life." He's right. I just spent my spring break getting my Tetris high score to 4.8 million.-Anonymous

I work as a part-time nurse at an old folks home. To help my patients get closer to their children, I tried introducing them to Dungeons and Dragons. I figured that since it didn't involve anything electronic, it'd be pretty simple to teach them. I though I'd be a hero in the eyes of the elderly for helping them find some common ground with their grandchildren. Not the case. I spent most of that day being yelled at by a grandmother for "turning her innocent grandson away from the Lord's light and towards the wicked ways of the devil." By that she meant helping him play as a warlock.-Peter

Last summer, I signed up to be a part of my church's week-long work camp this April. I was really proud of myself for finally taking part in it. Then Portal 2 was delayed to come out the same week. I instantly dropped out of the camp. When people started asking me why I dropped out, I started going to a different church.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Gamebook: iPhone Games Invade Facebook

By Staff / January 20, 2012

Article Dorkly Counselors' Corner: iPhone Games Edition

By Andrew Bridgman / August 20, 2013

Article The Dorklyst: The 7 Greatest Spaceships in Videogame History

By Mark Filipowich / May 8, 2012
The Dorklyst: The 7 Greatest Spaceships in Videogame History - Image 9

With NASA's space shuttle program retired, our hopes of getting full-fledged spaceships are diminishing quickly. Will we ever be able to traverse the vast expanses of the universe? Will we ever travel from one corner of the galaxy to the other in an instant? Will we ever make the Kessel Run to see if that Han Solo was lying about being able to make it in under 12 parsecs? Right now, it's not looking promising.

So until we have lightspeed-capable spaceships in real life, we'll have to live out our dreams in videogames. Here are the 7 greatest spaceships in videogame history.

7. SR-1 and SR-2 SSV Normandy (Mass Effect series)

The Dorklyst: 7 Greatest Spaceships in Videogame History - Image 2

The Normandy is a marvel of engineering, being the only ship in the galaxy capable of stealth flight in space. The Normandy is also a symbol of galactic co-operation, having been jointly designed by once bitter enemies, the humans and turians. But more than any of that, what makes the Normandy is its personality. From the no frills SR-1 in the first game, the sleek and shiny SR-2 in the second to its final iteration in the third as half-gutted, half-upgraded masterpiece, the Normandy mirrors the progress of Shepard and company.

What makes the Normandy so special, though, is not its design, or even its narrative function, what makes the Normandy especially memorable is that, in all three games, the Normandy is Shepard's home. More than a base of operations or a weapon-system, it's home to all the colorful personalities Shepard encounters in the galaxy. It's the one constant in a galaxy quickly spiralling out of control. It isn't just a nifty vehicle or a minor setting; right from the beginning the player knows that that this is their ship and, often, it's all they have.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   mass effect   dorklyst

Article New York Comic Con 2011 Cosplay Round-Up (15 Pictures)

By Staff / October 19, 2011

Poison Ivy uses her seductive powers on a vulnerable cameraman. Not even calamine lotion could save him. (via Geeks are Sexy)

Elite ninja Kakashi hangs in the rafters, waiting for a perfect moment to pounce on the funnel cake line. (via Kyoempty)

Filed Under   cosplay   irl   comic-con

Article Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn

By Andrew Bridgman / May 20, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: A League of Their Pwn
I am a factory worker who has always loved Star Wars. One day at work, I was running a machine called the depiler when it quit, dead as a door nail. A PLC card that controlled the movement had blown. Without missing a beat I turned to my coworker and said, "Uncle Owen, this droid has a bad motivator." He had no idea what I was talking about.-Ben

Since I heard about Pokemon X&Y coming out I decided to finally complete the pokedex (on White 2), to do this I needed to do a lot of breeding. After doing a fair few breeds I took my Ditto out of the daycare, when I looked at its nature and saw that it was 'Naive' I felt really bad for making it breed with so many pokemon. Eventually I swapped it for a Ditto with a 'Relaxed' nature so it might enjoy itself. -Kyle

Back when Pokemon Red & Blue first came out my friend and I, like most children in the late 90's, were addicted. Towards the end of the 2000 summer, our concerned parents took away our gameboys and we were left to our own devices. We decided to try and recreate Pokemon by catching wildlife and creating arenas, e.g. a jar filled with water was a water-type arena. One memorable fight took place in this jar-arena, between a Poliwag (tadpole) and a Zubat (a leech we found. Yeah, Zubats aren't water based at all, but we had to make do). At first the two combatants idled about in the water, but suddenly the leech jumped onto the tadpole and the struggle that took place was horrific. After 3 minutes of a terrified, writhing tadpole being drained of life fluid the Zubat floated happily, sated and victorious. We never tried that sh*t again.-Myles

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Some Fast Football Facts (For People Who Don't Know Anything About Football)

By Staff / February 2, 2014









Filed Under   sports   Football   super bowl

Article Master Chief is Useless

November 22, 2010
  1. Guy

    Sorry for the quick thaw Master Chief; things are a little hectic right now. The disorientation should pas—

  2. Sgt. Johnson

    I'll take it from here! Alright, Chief! Before we get going, I need to know which armor ability you're going to use!

  3. Master Chief

    Armor ability?

  4. Sgt. Johnson

    I recommend using sprint! We need to get to destroy the Covenant fleet quickly before they do serious damage to our ship!

  5. Master Chief

    Well actually, Sarge, I don't have sprint.

  6. Sgt. Johnson

    That's okay, evade works just as well!

  7. Master Chief

    I don't have that either.

  8. Sgt. Johnson

    Ah! So the chief is a jetpack man!

  9. Master Chief

    I'm actually terribly afraid of heights.

  10. Sgt. Johnson

    …so you use active camo?

  11. Master Chief


  12. Sgt. Johnson


Filed Under   conversations   halo