Articles

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Article 10 More of the Most Miserable Creatures in the Pokemon World

By Andrew Bridgman / August 29, 2013

There is really no excuse for any Pokemon to not be constantly miserable: their lives are essentially a worse version of the life of a cockfight chicken, because at least there the chicken has a pretty good chance of dying, whereas the Pokemon will just get burned, paralyzed, poisoned, etc. and then healed right back up. Worse, society views treating them like this in a positive light – and somehow most of their economy is built entirely around Pokemon tearing each other to shreds. But in this nightmare world, there are some Pokemon that are way more miserable than the rest. We covered the first batch previously, and here are 10 more.

10. Whismur

"Whismur is very timid. If it starts to cry loudly, it becomes startled by its own crying and cries even harder. When it finally stops crying, the Pokémon goes to sleep, all tired out." (Sapphire)

What would make you start crying if you were a Pokemon? If I were a Pokemon, it would probably be something like "my entire existence." If you're not wandering through the grass or in a cave or in the water waiting to attack literally any person who walks by, you're a slave-fighter for someone who is using you for financial and personal gain. That would have me crying a lot. And if I were Whismur, my crying would escalate and escalate, putting me in a state of sadness and terror, until I literally pass out from exhaustion. Realizing that would happen every day for the rest of my life? That would also make me cry.

Filed Under   pokemon   miserable

Article 3 Crazy Movie Fan Theories That Just Might Be Right

By Andrew Bridgman / March 20, 2014

1. Was Andy's Mom Jessie's Original Owner?

theories

via Jon Negroni

Remember when Andy would play with Woody and dress up sorta like a cowboy himself? (Andy was a huge Deadwood fan) You probably remember that - what you may not remember is that his hat doesn't really look like Woody's at all. However, it does resemble someone's hat: Jessie's.

theories

Filed Under   toy story   game of thrones

Article 15 More Things You'll Never Hear Gamers Say

By Andrew Bridgman / May 10, 2013

Filed Under   zelda   gamers   xbox   pokemon

Article 8 Pokemon Hipsters

October 8, 2010

Filed Under   hipsters   pokemon

Article A Brief History of Sonic Redesigns

By Staff / February 6, 2014

1991

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2001

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2014

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2018

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Filed Under   sonic

Article The 15 Most Frustrating Situations in Videogames

By Staff / January 26, 2012
The 15 Most Frustrating Situations in Videogames - Image 16

There is a new king in the land of broken controllers! After receiving almost 1.3 million votes, the most rage-inducing moment has finally been crowned. I'd like to thank the gaming community for the huge turnout, but in reality, it was probably just a couple guys voting a few hundred thousand times each. So this one's for you, Paul and Mike. You guys really hit it out of the park.

15. Not realizing you're fighting enemies that will respawn indefinitely and wasting all your health and ammo trying to finish them all off

 - Image 1

You weren't supposed to win, you were supposed to run away. Unfortunately, the game decided to let you figure this out on your own. Since you're a total fake badass and NEVER back down from a fake fight, you didn't figure it out until you'd already unloaded clip after clip into the unending army of minions. Now you're off to the next section of the game barely clinging to life. Annnnnnd it just auto-saved. Beautiful.

14. Running out of inventory slots

 - Image 1

Gamers are hoarders by nature. We are obsessive collectors. Even useless items somehow find their way into our inventories, because hey, those can be sold for gold and we like collecting gold; even when we've already got all the best items in the game. Thus, a full inventory is our sworn enemy: You're suddenly faced with the realization that you can't keep all that phat loot you've been picking up along the way. Some particularly cruel games won't even let you drop items, meaning you've got to run back to your item box any time you fill up. I'm looking at you, Resident Evil.

Filed Under   lists   toplists   frustrating situations

Article George Lucas Lets Everyone Know About the New Star Wars Movie

By Andrew Bridgman / October 31, 2012

George Lucas Lets Everyone Know About the New Star Wars Movie - Image 3

Filed Under   facebook   star wars   gamebook   george lucas

Article Quiz: Which Character From Star Wars Are You?

By Andrew Bridgman / March 24, 2014
Quiz: Which Character From Star Wars Are You

Filed Under   star wars   quiz

Article 10 Delightfully Creative Restaurant Tips

By Staff / April 9, 2014

  

Sean Bean leaves the best tips (since he knows he's about to die at any moment)

Creative Tips

via jaimeeallonsy

 

Memes leaking into real life is acceptable as long as there's money involved

Creative Tips

via rkeyes47

Filed Under   money   tips

Article The Conversation That Created The (Rebooted) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

By Andrew Bridgman / March 28, 2014

 

"Heroes are not born - they're created."

-William Fichtner (the guy from Prison Break)

 

  1. Scientist

    Uh, sir?

  2. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Johnson, stop asking questions - get back to making those heroes!

  3. Scientist

    Yeah, about that...you SURE these are the heroes you wanna create?

  4. William Fichtner (from Prison Break)

    Uh, YEAH. Crime is running rampant and Megan Fox is the city's top journalist. Things are bad and we need laboratory-created heroes ASAP.

  5. Scientist

    Well, if we're MAKING heroes, couldn't we make...something else? Like, pretty much anything else other than THIS.

 

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