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Article Nerd-o-Vision: Boss

June 14, 2010

Things look a little different when you're a nerd…

Filed Under   nerd-o-vision

Article Best Nerdy April Fools Videos of 2012

By Staff / April 3, 2012

10. Mass Effect Saturday Morning Cartoon

9. Rock Band: Board Game

Filed Under   best of   april fools

Article Pwn Up: Kamehameha Lullaby

By Andrew Bridgman / October 19, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: - Image 3
When I was 10, I played Dragonball Z so much I couldn't sleep without my GameBoy under my pillow playing the title screen music. I went through a lot of batteries.-Aiden

A coworker and I were horsing around at work and attempting a crossword puzzle. The clue for one of the words was "Small Plateau" with 4 letters and the first we had as "M" and with out even thinking I blurted out "Mesa". I had no clue where that answer came from, but it was right. A bit later I realized the logo for Black Mesa is a plateau in a circle.-Jack

My parents were very proud of me today when I told them I picked up a night job in addition to going to college. My reasoning behind it was that way, I would have more money so I could buy both Pokemon Black and White 2. As soon as I saved enough money to get the games, I'm submitting my two weeks notice. They won't be proud of me for long.-Randal

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: I Can See Your Halo

By Andrew Bridgman / November 16, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: I Can See Your Halo - Image 1
When Halo 4 came out, I was the only one at the midnight release not getting it. I got a copy of Dragon Ball Z Budokai HD instead.-Christian

I was so pumped to hear everyone throwing the word BAMF around recently. I thought it was cool that a comic book reference had become modern slang. It wasn't until much later that I found out that the current use of BAMF was not a reference to the sound Nightcrawler made when teleporting.-Zack

I recently went to see a movie with my girlfriend. Since it was the Friday after Halloween, all the theater employees were dressed up. We go to get our popcorn and the cashier has an awesome Link costume, complete with a sword, shield and Navi. I compliment him on his costume and he lets out a big relieved sigh and says "Thanks man, you're the first person to get it. Everyone keeps calling me Peter Pan."-Fraser

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Mass Affection

By Staff / May 25, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Mass Affection - Image 3
I romanced Ashley in Mass Effect 1, and then Tali in Mass Effect 2. When Mass Effect 3 rolled around, I was faced with a difficult decision: Which one would I pick as my definitive love interest? I thought about it long and hard, pondering over "my" past experiences with the women and weighing the pros and cons of each choice, and I eventually settled on Ashley but kept a separate save file with which I could go back and choose Tali if I changed my mind. As the next several hours of the game progressed and I interacted more with both squadmates, I realized that I'd made a mistake. Tali had always been by my side, having complete faith in me even when close friends (like Ashley) thought I was a Cerberus traitor. While Ashley needed constant assurance and re-convincing, Tali trusted me absolutely, even with the fate of her entire race. My realization was like a romantic movie moment, except that instead of a stereotypical "dashing to the airport" scene I proved my devotion by going back to the other save file, effectively sacrificing 8 hours of gameplay to make things right. Keelah se'lai.-Charles

I recently got a new tattoo. Here it is, in all its 8-bit splendor.-Spencer (see below)

I'm in the army. I'm considering knocking my wife up so I can come home from overseas to play Diablo III for a couple weeks. Thanks, Blizzard!-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Secret Levels in Videogame History

March 3, 2011

Secret levels used to be something extremely special. Before the Internet, you had to either find them on your own or hear about them from the weird kid at school who spent recess picking his nose and staring at the sun. And once you did find out about them, all you wanted to do was brag about your new found knowledge. Let's salute the greatest secret levels in videogame history.


It's hard to bring out something weird and unexpected in a WWII game where Hitler's dead and you're fighting with lightning-zappers, invincibility devices, and time-travel — but then again, giant ants? Disbelief only suspends so far! It ends up feeling like Red Alert with Zerg, except with a lot more people saying "At once!" and "Affirmative!" over and over. The ants add a huge new challenge to the gameplay, where you have to radically change your strategy just to survive. Even then, it's hard as hell. So if you ever travel back in time and kill Hitler, remember to bring a giant can of Raid, okay?


George Lucas had to know that the Dark Side of the Force was the cooler one. I mean, would you rather be a badass asthmatic burn victim in black armor who hangs out with a grandpa who shoots lightning, or a wimpy blonde kid whose mentor thinks being a powerless ghost is "more powerful than you could ever imagine"? Clearly the Dark Side is the way to go — something Rogue Squadron figured it out in their bonus level, "Triumph of Empire." It's a familiar moment, the battle above the Death Star (classic version, not that half-built piece of crap that Lando blew up with his midget friend) — except you're in Darth Vader's TIE Fighter, wasting rebels left and right. And when it comes down to that pivotal trench run — well, let's just say that Luke won't be bullseyein' womp rats again anytime soon.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   secret levels

Article The Dorklyst: The 10 Greatest Slide Levels in Videogame History

February 2, 2011

Nobody likes levels that automatically scroll or ice levels where you slip around – but what if you combine the two? What if there was a level where you were automatically sliding to the bottom at all times, and there was nothing you could do to stop it? Let's find out with our tribute to the ten greatest slide levels of all time.

10. Super Mario Galaxy 2: Tall Trunks Galaxy's Tall Trunk Slide

Going all the way back to Super Mario Bros. 3, the Mario series has had a long-stranding and honorable tradition of having its protagonist slide down hills on his butt. Many unfortunate Koopa Troopas and Buzzy Beetles who have been on the wrong end of Mario's butt will tell you it's one his most deadly secret weapons. The game never really explained if this invincibility came from momentum or magic butt powers (I have theories), but for whatever reason Mario decided to get on his feet for the the Tall Trunk Slide of Mario Galaxy 2. This new posture and confidence lets Mario run on the ceiling when the slide fills out into a tube, a continuation of the Galaxy series' theme of playing with gravity.

9. Gunstar Heroes: The Pyramid

It's easy to describe cult-classic Gunstar Heroes as "anime Contra," but then you'd be leaving out the time-reversing bombs, Dice Palace boss/board game, and the epic 7-part battle with Seven Force. This is a relentlessly creative game that even features an exciting anti-gravity twist on the mine cart level. Their take on the slide level was simple – just add guns. That's right, Gunstar Heroes is the only slide level on this list where you can actually shoot a gun while you slide. The Pyramid is one of videogaming's most satisfying slide levels because it's not about avoiding obstacles, it's about blowing right through them.

Filed Under   the dorklyst   slide levels

Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #19

September 28, 2010

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

The funniest thing I ever heard on Xbox live was while playing a MW1 match. I got into this game with a bunch of kids who were 12-14, all in the same clan and had all top prestige. I ended up playing well and was destroying them. After the match, one kid, I guess the leader, called me out to 1v1 him in a match. Considering I was already late to go out, I said I couldn't and he starting calling me out and what not. I then replied, "I'll 1v1 your mom, and he replied "Good, my mom is actually good at this game." Then in the background you hear "Mom, some kid wants to 1v1 you," the entire lobby just burst out in laughter, and the kid left.-Troy
Some dude on Modern Warfare 2, talking to another kid"So what I'm saying is, my threesome was with a solid 7, then maybe a 2. Does that mean I got with a single 9 or?"Other kid: "No man, you average it. So really you got with like a 4.5."-Justin
From a ten or eleven year old, during a Gears of War match"You're a douche-bag. You're a bag full of douches."-Dave
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #41

October 28, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Back in 1997 I was in 7th grade and president of the Star Trek club at school. Then the Star Wars special edition was released and I founded the Star Wars club. I was and still am huge fans of both Star Wars and Star Trek. After that, people started making fun of me for loving Star Trek. Following three weeks of torment, I began seeing a therapist. I ended up having an emotional breakdown in his office. It wasn't because I was being made fun of at school. It was because I couldn't decide what I liked more: Wars or Trek.-Nate

There has not been a single moral or otherwise challenging decision I've made since finishing Dragonball and Dragonball Z where I didn't ask myself, "What would Goku do?"-Jonathan

When I was 12, I wrote to Marvel because I thought I found a flaw in a Fantastic Four comic and wanted a "No Prize," which is an empty envelope rewarded to people who find continuity flaws. I told them not to publish my address at the end of the letter. Not only did they publish my letter, dig in to me for being wrong, and include my address, they must have thought I was a loser who needed someone to write to, so they also signed me up for their pen-pal program.-Anonymous

When I was little my parents gave my N64 to my cousin and got me a PS2. I recently learned that my aunt THREW OUT Ocarina Of Time and gave the N64 to my cousin's friend, who broke it in two weeks. When I found out, I tied up my cousin and made him listen to the Battletoads pause music for two hours.-Jessica

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article The Weekly IRL: 5 Awesome Tetris Videos

December 9, 2010

Filed Under   tetris   the weekly irl