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Article Overheard on Xbox: Issue #35

January 25, 2011

Ever hear something horrible and/or hilarious on Xbox Live? Send your submissions to overheardonxbox at gmail.

I was playing COD:BO with my ex-girlfriend. When we played I always used to abuse a certain gamer. This was called iAmAsUpR1337 and I was going apesh*t at this guy and it didn't help that he was getting 1 kill every 4 deaths. So this kid goes offline after ten minutes of pure abuse and after the game me and my girlfriend go to sleep . When we arrived at her parents house her younger brother, who is seven, said that he finally got Live and Black Ops. I asked him what his gamertag was and he said IAmAsUpR1337. My girlfriend broke-up with me the same day.-Eli
I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 online and I started making conversation with a guy on my team. I told him I was having a good vacation, and then asked him "are you on Spring Break, too?" to which he replied "everyday is spring break when you're unemployed."-Julien
Filed Under   overheard on xbox

Article Sidekick Woes

November 1, 2010
  1. Producer

    Alright, we're ready for this, a new Sonic and Tails game-

  2. Tails

    Wait, Sonic and Tails? Like, Sonic first?

  3. Producer

    Yup. You're a great sidekick kid.

  4. Tails

    Oh, okay. I don't know, I just figured, you know, I was in charge.

  5. Producer

    You?

  6. Tails

    Yeah. You know, a flying fox. That's pretty bad ass.

  7. Producer

    Well, yeah, but-

  8. Tails

    Also I'm immortal. Every time I die I fly back in like, what, five seconds? That's awesome!

  9. Producer

    I don't think you get it. Sonic is really fast.

  10. Tails

    We're aware I am equally fast, right? I can spin-dash too. Oh, and hey, I also, fly. That's pretty cool. So maybe I should be first…

Filed Under   sonic   tails

Article 9 Family Christmas Party Cheat Codes

By Alex Schmidt / December 19, 2011



Filed Under   christmas   cheat codes

Article Pwn Up: All Ghillied Up

By Andrew Bridgman / March 18, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: - Image 2
My freshman year of college was when Call of Duty: Modern Warfare was released. The two weeks leading up to spring exams, my buddies and I played the game pretty much 24/7, surviving only on a diet of pizza rolls, diet tea, and cookies. By the end of the two weeks, it began to mess with my head. I even had dreams I was in the game. One night, there was a huge thunderstorm. I fell asleep on the couch after another long day of playing Call of Duty. While asleep, I had another dream I was in the middle of warfare. After a loud crash of thunder, I jolted up half awake. At that moment, my roommate came running down the stairs and said it sounded like shotguns outside. Still in a daze, I began to freak out. He asked me what was wrong but I told him to leave me alone. Before I went to sleep, I made peace with everything in my life ready for the war outside to take my life. The next morning I was alive and my roommates were wondering what was wrong with me last night. It was then that I realized the events that took place. Moral of the story: man can not live on a steady diet of pizza rolls, cookies, and Call of Duty without consequences.- Robert L.

Since my fiancee and I live 12 hours away from each other, we decided to meet up halfway (in Dallas, TX) to take our engagement photos in May. I just rescheduled the day of the photos with the photographer so that we can be there for Dallas Comic-Con solely so that we can meet Nathan Fillion.-Leigh

I asked a friend once the usual "What would you do if you had a time machine?" question. I was expecting the usual "I'd go back and kill Hitler" or something. But without much thought, he retorted "I wouldn't want a time machine. I'd have to beat Dark Souls again." It was the single best answered I'd ever received for that question. I was stumped and realized, I wouldn't want to a time machine either that point.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: The Triforce of Nacho Cheese

By Andrew Bridgman / January 25, 2013

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: The Triforce of Nacho Cheese - Image 2
I was playing Skyrim while I had a friend over, and we were talking while I played and he watched. At one point he looks over at me and asks me why I was talking so softly. I was crouched, hidden, and looting a house at the time – I was taking things a little too far.-Isaac


When I was about six years old, my dad bought us a Playstation with two games: Spyro (for me) and Aliens (for him). One day my dad walked in my room while I was playing Spyro, and he noticed I was still on the first level. I looked to him as serious as I could and told him that I loved the game and I never ever wanted to get to the end of it, so I never saved. Recently I found my old Playstation and I decided that it was time to finally get to the end of Spyro. I cried when I saw the ending credits. -Dorien


I always cook Hot Pocket Snackers the same way.-G

Pwn Up: - Image 1
Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Assassin's Quiz

By Andrew Bridgman / November 2, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Assassins Quiz - Image 4
I gave a true/false pop quiz to my class on the Assassin's Creed 3 release day. Every answer was false, and I let them work on whatever they wanted after the quiz. Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.-Mr. R

When I was about 13, my grandma got me a Sega Dreamcast for my birthday. The problem was the store she bought the console didn't have the memory card/VMU for sale, and since I live in a small town in Brazil, it was the only one store that sold the Dreamcast. I was crazy about finishing Sonic Adventure (which came along with the Dreamcast), but I didn't have the VMU, so the furthest I went was the Knuckles stages.

I waited for a holiday and played it nonstop for more than 24 hours (minus eating and stuff) and I was able to finish the game in about 18 in-game hours. When I finally turned my Dreamcast off, I cried for like 10 minutes, since I knew I'd lost it all.-Gabriel

On the night that Silent Hill: Revelation came out, being a big Silent Hill fan, I went in with a friend dressed as Pyramid Head, expecting a large turn out for the premiere. I walked around the lobby for a while, handing out flyers for a haunted house I work at that supplied the costume, and talked to the staff of the theater for a while, a few of whom took pictures, and scaring random movie goers. Then, when I walked into the screening room, I held my blade high…. for about 10 people to see. Not exactly what I was expecting, but at least I didn't have to worry about blocking anyone's view.-Skyler (see below)

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article Pwn Up: Family Games Night

By Jake Young / January 27, 2014

If you have a moment so nerdy that you need to tell the Internet about it, we want you to send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail

 

Pwn Up: Family Games Night

 

 

A couple of weeks before Mass Effect 3 was released here in the UK, I decided to play through the entire Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2 in preparation. It came to the day before ME3 release and all I had to do was the Collector's Base at the end of ME2. I must have only spent an hour or so on it, but I got really engrossed in it. When I finally finished it and the credits were rolling, I looked at my phone and saw 13 missed calls from my brother.

It turns out his wife had gone into labour and he had been calling me, so that I could drive them to the hospital, as per our agreement a week or so before. In the end, he'd given up and called a taxi. I felt so bad that I paid them for the taxi fair, and also took them out to dinner once they were comfortable enough to leave the baby at my parent's for an evening.

 

At the dinner, when we were finally alone together for the first time since the incident, he asked what I'd been doing that had gotten me so engrossed that I missed all 13 calls. So I loaned him Mass Effect and he's now as addicted as me...I don't think my sister-in-law is very happy with me at the moment. But oh well. Brotherly bonding FTW.

 

-Matt

Filed Under   pwn my life   gamers   family   pwn up

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #4

June 15, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it?Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In high school, I got picked on by the guys who brought in BeyBlade tops.-Devin

I had an interview for a promotion at work. My manager told me that the position required patience and the ability to follow through. I told him that wouldn't be a problem, because I've collected all 251 Pokemon in Pokemon Gold. -Chuck

I always play as female characters. If I have to stare at someone's digital ass for 5 hours, it's going to be a female.-Ben

My friend once did the Chidori from Naruto to impress a girl: sound effects, hand signs, and all. She couldn't stop laughing at him. -Damien

I'm 20 years old. I recently spent nearly 36 hours organizing all 4,568 of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, then made the best deck I could possibly conceive. It was a glorious day. I was filled with confidence. I entered a tournament and was ready to kick ass. My first opponent was an 8-year-old girl. It ended quickly with me screaming "HOW COULD I LOSE TO A CHILD AT A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME?"-Cormel

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #66

March 4, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Every first Sunday of March I celebrate "Schnitzel and Nintendo Day." It's the day I set up my SNES, make delicious schnitzel, then play classic videogames and eat. I'm also working on a spin-off called "N64 and Hotdog Day" that takes place every first Sunday in September.-Karl

For Valentine's Day this year, I left a copy of Pokemon Ruby on my girlfriend's door with a note telling her to check the Pokemon roster. The roster was six Luvdiscs whose names spelled out "Happy Valentine's Day [her name]! Love, [my name]."-C

I'm trying to lose weight now so I can cosplay as Vamp from Metal Gear Solid on Halloween.-Michael

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article More Videogame Travel Posters

By Julia Lepetit / June 29, 2012

Videogame Travel Posters - Image 1
Filed Under   poster   posters   travel