Articles

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Article Pwn Up: Assassin's Quiz

By Andrew Bridgman / November 2, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Assassins Quiz - Image 4
I gave a true/false pop quiz to my class on the Assassin's Creed 3 release day. Every answer was false, and I let them work on whatever they wanted after the quiz. Nothing is true. Everything is permitted.-Mr. R

When I was about 13, my grandma got me a Sega Dreamcast for my birthday. The problem was the store she bought the console didn't have the memory card/VMU for sale, and since I live in a small town in Brazil, it was the only one store that sold the Dreamcast. I was crazy about finishing Sonic Adventure (which came along with the Dreamcast), but I didn't have the VMU, so the furthest I went was the Knuckles stages.

I waited for a holiday and played it nonstop for more than 24 hours (minus eating and stuff) and I was able to finish the game in about 18 in-game hours. When I finally turned my Dreamcast off, I cried for like 10 minutes, since I knew I'd lost it all.-Gabriel

On the night that Silent Hill: Revelation came out, being a big Silent Hill fan, I went in with a friend dressed as Pyramid Head, expecting a large turn out for the premiere. I walked around the lobby for a while, handing out flyers for a haunted house I work at that supplied the costume, and talked to the staff of the theater for a while, a few of whom took pictures, and scaring random movie goers. Then, when I walked into the screening room, I held my blade high…. for about 10 people to see. Not exactly what I was expecting, but at least I didn't have to worry about blocking anyone's view.-Skyler (see below)

Filed Under   pwn my life   pwn up

Article 3 Predictions For Stephen Colbert Replacing David Letterman

By Tony Wilson and Jake Young / April 10, 2014

1. How You Watched Colbert on The Colbert Report vs. How You'll Watch Him on The Late Show

3 Predictions For Stephen Colbert Replacing David Letterman

 

Filed Under   TV   stephen colbert   david letterman

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #4

June 15, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it?Send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

In high school, I got picked on by the guys who brought in BeyBlade tops.-Devin

I had an interview for a promotion at work. My manager told me that the position required patience and the ability to follow through. I told him that wouldn't be a problem, because I've collected all 251 Pokemon in Pokemon Gold. -Chuck

I always play as female characters. If I have to stare at someone's digital ass for 5 hours, it's going to be a female.-Ben

My friend once did the Chidori from Naruto to impress a girl: sound effects, hand signs, and all. She couldn't stop laughing at him. -Damien

I'm 20 years old. I recently spent nearly 36 hours organizing all 4,568 of my Yu-Gi-Oh cards, then made the best deck I could possibly conceive. It was a glorious day. I was filled with confidence. I entered a tournament and was ready to kick ass. My first opponent was an 8-year-old girl. It ended quickly with me screaming "HOW COULD I LOSE TO A CHILD AT A CHILDREN'S CARD GAME?"-Cormel

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #66

March 4, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Every first Sunday of March I celebrate "Schnitzel and Nintendo Day." It's the day I set up my SNES, make delicious schnitzel, then play classic videogames and eat. I'm also working on a spin-off called "N64 and Hotdog Day" that takes place every first Sunday in September.-Karl

For Valentine's Day this year, I left a copy of Pokemon Ruby on my girlfriend's door with a note telling her to check the Pokemon roster. The roster was six Luvdiscs whose names spelled out "Happy Valentine's Day [her name]! Love, [my name]."-C

I'm trying to lose weight now so I can cosplay as Vamp from Metal Gear Solid on Halloween.-Michael

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article More Videogame Travel Posters

By Julia Lepetit / June 29, 2012

Videogame Travel Posters - Image 1
Filed Under   poster   posters   travel

Article Pwn My Life: Issue #16

July 29, 2010

Ever had a moment so nerdy they you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

A good friend of mine just got married. He had Song of Storms from Ocarina of Time playing when the bride's maids and the groomsmen entered. It was incredible.-Magnus

I told my niece the plot of Final Fantasy VII as a fairy tale, split into 14 nights. She cried when Sephi killed Aerith.-Dave (who also cried when Sephi killed Aerith)

I used to play EverQuest and was pretty good. I was in a top guild and considered to be among the best of my class. One night I ordered a pizza, and the delivery guy noticed my computer screen. He played too, and started asking me about EQ and my character. I told him who my character was expecting a good reaction, or at least some recognition. Instead, his face stayed blank and he started telling me about his character. I got fairly upset.-Anonymous

When I was 13, I had a Super Mario Bros. 3 emulator from which I print-screened every single character, object, and background into MS Paint. Then, I'd spend my time pasting together my own carefully designed kick-ass dream levels.-Tony

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Banjo's Backpack

May 9, 2010
  1. Kazooie

    Banjo, wake up! Grunty kidnapped your sister!

  2. Banjo

    Oh no, we have to save her! Quick, get in my backpack.

  3. Kazooie

    The fastest way to get..... wait, what?

  4. Banjo

    What?

  5. Kazooie

    Did you just tell me to get in your backpack?

  6. Banjo

    Well yeah, of course I did!

  7. Kazooie

    What good can I do if I'm in a backpack?

  8. Banjo

    It's got legholes so you can carry me up slopes!

  9. Kazooie

    Right..... look I think we need to talk.

  10. Banjo

    What do you mean?

  11. Kazooie

    I'm starting to feel like you think I'm some kind of tool for you to use however you like. I'm a living intelligent being, just like you and Mumbo and all those talking object with eyes. You treat me like crap and I'm sick of it.

  12. Banjo

    Now hold on, we're a team and we always will be! You and me, best buds forever!

  13. Kazooie

    What species of bird am I?

Filed Under   banjo and kazooie

Article The Weekly IRL: 7 Pictures of Nerds Bein' Hilarious

March 24, 2011


Filed Under   the weekly irl

Article Pwn Up: Nerd Nails

By Kevin Corrigan / March 23, 2012

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

Pwn Up: Nerd Nails - Image 1

In response to the guy that peed in the sink 'cause it was closer: I used to pee in a trashcan a few steps from the couch until my parents asked me if I was peeing in the trashcan. I got away with it for months.-Anonymous

I just got my first-ever tailor made clothing item. It was a Star Trek TNG uniform my girlfriend bought me for my birthday.-Boaz

I didn't have an N64 when Ocarina of Time came out, but the local Best Buy had it on display. It wasn't a standard display, either. This was back when they had huge, multi-screen showcases hanging from the rafters. I kept finding excuses to go to Best Buy and play it. Every time I'd find my old saved game deleted. After three weeks of this, my brother drove me there for the store opening. It was the holiday season, so they opened two hours early and closed two hours late. I jumped on and played a marathon session. I stood the whole day, not letting anyone else on. I made it through the whole game in one session. I left with the credits rolling and two hours to spare.-Shon

My mom always loved to watch me play video games, especially Castlevania. She once burst in my room, handed me the controller and told me to start playing. I explained that I had a book report due the next day on "My Antonia," by Willa Cather. She took my notebook and said, "I've read it before. You kill, I write." She finished that report in time for the Mummy Twins fight. I got the best grade ever.-Anonymous

Filed Under   pwn my life

Article Issue #3

May 10, 2011

Have a nerdy horror story you want to share with the Internet? Send your submissions to areyouafraidofthedork@gmail.com!

When Mario Kart 64 came out I was 12 and my parents told me if I could pay half the cost of the game they would pay the rest. As a 12-year-old, it took me 2 months of doing odd jobs around the house to earn the money. On the way back from the store, with my new purchase in hand, I noticed that none of the houses on my street had any lights on. Turns out we had just lost power. I spent the rest of the night reading the instruction manual by candle light.-B Licious

Back when I was 5 or 6 years old, my sister got a Sega Genesis with Sonic 2. I used to play that game every once in a while, but then my sister decided that she didn't want me playing her game, so she told me that if I died in the game, I'd die in real life. Fast forward to the present day and those games still creep me out.-Bryan

My older brother and his best friend were taking turns playing the NES Teenage mutant Ninja Turtles game, you know, the ridiculously hard one? I was watching because at four years old, you barely have motor skills enough not to fall over half the time. I stretched, and my foot hit the power button on the system. The game turned off, they were at the Technodrome. My brother is now 28, I'm 25 and a gamer myself. To this day, he still hasn't beaten the game and neither of us have forgiven me yet.-Erin