Articles

Since anything you can imagine is already something that exists on the internet, there's a website called Pokemon Fusion, which allows you to fuse two Pokemon together into an entirely new Franken-mon. The result is usually something somewhat ridiculous-looking, if only because the pixels don't quite line up as they should. But artists from across the 'net decided to flesh out the combo-mons with full-fledged illustrations. These are some of the best.

At their Nintendo Direct conference at E3, Nintendo made a few announcements about Mario, Donkey Kong, and a number of other franchises. But none of that matters. The only thing that matters is that the Animal Crossing Villager will be a playable character in the newest Smash Bros. games. But there's something unsettling about his smiling, always content face that never changes, even as he's beating other mascots mercilessly…

All of his letters to his neighbors are written in the blood of his victims.

There is a clear temptation when you begin playing The Sims to simply make yourself and recreate the world around you. After all, you know yourself, but wouldn't it be great to see how a virtual version of you would react to a world where you're your own god? You can make yourself, your one bedroom apartment, and see how Virtual You compares to Real You. Can Virtual You get a job in politics by babbling in front of a mirror and telling gibberish jokes to random passers-by? Because that didn't work out so well for Real You.

Daenerys is, like, 14 years old

Daenerys is in a rough spot when Game of Thrones begins – she's the exiled daughter of a brutally-deposed king, her psychotic brother has arranged for her to be married to a nomadic warrior king who's really into horses, and just look at how that name is spelled. She probably has to correct people all the time. But the real messed up thing is that she starts off the books at the age of 14. That's when she's forced into having sex with her new Dothraki husband. So – remember that cool Khal Drogo guy? He's a child rapist. The show gets away with making this all seem not-creepy-as-hell because Emilia Clarke is in her 20's (she would be a great-grandmother by this point in the world of Game of Thrones).

So whenever you get excited to see Daenerys nude in Game of Thrones, remember that Chris Hansen is going to knock on your door at any moment.

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Send your submissions to dorklypwnup at gmail.

I remember when Pokemon Gold and Silver came out, I played it to death. One part I remember is that trainers would call you up just to say hi or brag about their Pokemon. One such trainer called me once or twice and I decided he was my friend. His name was Fisherman Ralph. I would call him every time I turned my Gameboy on just to say hi and every time before I saved to say goodbye. I still think about him sometimes I wonder how hes doing.
-Kyle

Yesterday I spent 6 hours getting all of the music from Fallout 3 and New Vegas. Now I know that isn't all that amazing, but you see the normal soundtracks took not even an hour each to find and download. It was finding the complete Adventures of Herbert Daring Dashwood that took the other 4 hours. I was so happy that I cried a little and even went as far as to clear the entirety of my mp3 player so it only has these songs.
-Smiley

One time, I was walking along and saw someone dressed mainly in blue. I immediately looked to the bottom right of my vision to see which color I was before remembering that I was not playing Team Fortress 2.
-Daniel

Real life couldn't have created an enemy more terrifying than your standard police officer; after all, what other civil servant has the state-sanctioned power to murder us, both with military-grade weaponry and egregious parking fines? True, most of your garden variety cops spend their shifts hassling non-violent drug offenders and telling rude teens to stop skateboarding on things, but a small minority employs the power of the badge to abuse their authority with criminal intent. Thankfully, the medium of video games allows us to seek vengeance against those who've fallen over to the icky side of the thin blue line — a more gratifying fate than seeing the traditional crooked cop punishment of extended paid vacation.

(WARNING: Some pretty significant spoilers lie within)

10. Officer Frank Tenpenny (Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas)

Since 1994's Pulp Fiction, the casting of Samuel L. Jackson in any role serves as a sort of shorthand for the audience, as if to say "this expletive-shouting man may be dangerous and unstable." If he's on the protagonist's side, then victory's in the bag, and the creative vulgarities can fly freely without caution; unfortunately, the first five minutes Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas spell out the fact that Officer Frank Tenpenny is a very, very bad man. His behind-the-scenes string-pulling gives our hero CJ the mass-murderer status demanded by every Grand Theft Auto installment to date, and Tenpenny's own crimes eventually lead to a full-scale riot the aging hardware of the PlayStation 2 did its best to simulate. Close to ten years later, and Grand Theft Auto as a whole has yet to come up with a more enigmatic villain — or at least one voiced by a guy with some clearly defined snake boundaries.