Pwn My Life: Issue #61

January 28, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

Back in fifth grade, one of my friends was playing some rpg on gameboy advanced. He was fighting one of those bosses that you're supposed to lose to, the kind that have 9999 health and you can only deal one damage to at a time. He was curious about what would happen if he did beat him. Right before he was supposed to fight the boss, he grinded on monsters until he had enough money to max his inventory with health potions. He then spent six hours, one attack at a time, slowly bringing down the bosses health until he beat it. The reward? His game crashed.-Steve

When I was younger, I had a Pokemon book that listed everyone's stats. I did not know that "lbs" meant pounds. I thought it meant laps. I can clearly remember being confused as to why Onix could run more laps than Mewtwo.-Rich

Every time I see an online discussion debating whether or not Power Girl's boobs are real, I get a strong urge to point out that a Kryptonian couldn't possibly undergo breast augmentation.-John

I'm not great at MW2 multiplayer, but I can hold my own. I love Search and Destroy. I also hate Search and Destroy. When I hear the voice say I'm the only one left, I get really nervous and tense up. I know that everyone on my team is watching my screen. Last night I was in a match on Derail that went into overtime. I had no kills leading up to the final game. After a couple minutes, I was informed I was the only one left and it was up to me. Suddenly, I came around the corner of the shed at the back of the map and both of the guys on the other team were there, standing next to each other. I fired my shotgun out of surprise and managed to kill both of them. My team started yelling and going crazy because we won. They were all congratulating me. It was the proudest moment of my life. I as I started to thank them, I realized I was crying and they could all hear me crying. All the laughter and cheers stopped. Needless to say, I disconnected immediately.-Anonymous

Every year my friends and I go on a ski trip over New Years. Three years ago we spent five days in the mountains without skiing. We'd stay in during the day and play DotA. Then at night we'd put on our ski gear and head out to the apres-ski places so girls would think we were cool. One night we did meet a couple of girls who asked if we wanted to hang out. We declined. Then we played DotA charades instead. It was awesome.-Dave

A few months ago I was coming home late from a bar when I was approached near my apartment by some guys asking if I had a cigarette. I set my bag down and in my drunken state failed to react when one shoved me over and they took off with my belongings. Despite the loss of my house key and 400 bucks, the thing I couldn't get over was that I'd have to get a new PSP memory card and redo everything in Monster Hunter.-Matt

I was driving with my friend to go skiing when he spotted a cloud in the valley below that seemed strange and out of place. The strangest part for me, and I let him know this, was how similar our situation was to the awesome fight scene with Tigatron, Terrorsaur, and Waspinator in part one of the epic Beast Wars two-parter, "The Trigger."-Lee

I've pulled it to Miranda from Mass Effect 2 at least a dozen times.-Zellie85

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