Pwn My Life: Issue #60

January 21, 2011

Ever had a moment so nerdy that you needed to tell the Internet about it? Read more nerd confessions at Collegehumor, and send your submissions to dorklypwnmylife at gmail.

I was in 2nd grade and playing Final Fantasy 3. My mom had a friend over, and her son who was in 1st grade. I was so excited to show him how cool FF3 was! I showed him the game and he kept calling Shadow a "stupid farty-pants" and insisted that Shadow kept farting. I couldn't take it. Was he kidding me? Shadow? I decked him right in the face. In an instant, I realized I was going to be in deep shit and tried to bribe him to not tell. He told. My mom was pissed, however my older and cooler 5th grade neighbor thought I was the man.-Ryan

When I went to watch the latest Harry Potter movie with my girlfriend, she cried when Dobby died. I cried when I saw the Green Lantern trailer.-Ty

I once spent 20 minutes on the phone with the Nintendo help line because I couldn't get to the sound test in Kirby 64. I wanted to listen to the "Gourmet Race" theme.-Dan

My boyfriend of two years got into a heated and stupid argument with our WoW guild leader once. It was because someone else got an epic jewel drop from a boss instead of him. The argument ended with my boyfriend kicked out of the guild. He even cried. I loved my guild, so instead of supporting him I stayed on the guild. He's my ex-boyfriend now.-K

When I was 10, my "best friend" lost my Yu-Gi-Oh! cards on the bus. This included my coveted Gate Guardian, my all-time favorite card. I cried to the point of throwing up. Twice.-Brennan

I use the incognito feature on Chrome for two reasons. I am afraid that someone will look through my history and see that I was looking at porn, and I am afraid that someone will look through my history and see that I was looking at game guides.-Anonymous

This New Year's Eve I didn't have anyone to celebrate with, so I ended up playing Fallout: New Vegas. I got so lonely that I went to the Ultra Luxe and stole as much formal wear as I could. Then I dressed the courier in formal wear and a party hat, and gave my companions formal clothes to wear. After that I stayed in the presidential suite of the Lucky 38 and went through all the dialogue I could with my companions while casually consuming wine and vodka.-Anonymous

One night I started looking up porn, but I ended up reading the Sims 3 wiki for 45 minutes with my junk hanging out of my pants.-Anonymous

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